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Hi, my name is Victoria
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Story 

Real Vampires Don't Sparkle [01]

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Story Rating   4.88  with 8 vote(s)
By sarahco777 Send DollMail
Created: 2009-07-18 01:02:24 All stories by sarahco777
A/N: Yeah, I have decided to start yet another story. This one should be good. Sorry about the premade doll, I could not get the gothic stuff to work when I tried to make a doll. I will try to see if I can fix this in later parts. Anyways, enjoy, this one is supposed to be a bit of a comedy/thriller/fantasy.

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the book Twilight or any of its characters mentioned in this story. I also do not in fact know what Stephenie Meyer is like and how she would truly react to the events in this story. Let it be known that all events in this story are fictional and by no means apply to the real Stephenie Meyer. I have nothing against Stephenie Meyer or any of her work.

Real vampires don't sparkle. It is a fact that Victoria Darkwood knew quite well. As she sat that night on the windowsill, staring disgustedly down at the book by her feet, this fact rang quite clearly through her mind. It was obvious that they would not, after all.

Victoria herself was a vampire. She had been so for the past 30 years, and preferred this new life. There were pros and cons alike. A major con was that if she stayed too long in the sunlight, she would die. Poof! and she would burn. Just like that. A pro was that she had wings, which allowed her to fly anywhere she desired. She was not sure whether having to drink blood not exactly to survive but at least to not be weak was a pro or con. It had ups and downs. She even found that she melted into the shadows, and hiding at night was no problem.

But she most certainly did not sparkle in the sunlight. How could that crazy woman Stephenie Meyer even think of that? Vampires were menacing nocturnal creatures that drank human blood. Sparkling in the sunlight was definitely not one of their attributes. It sounded more like something for a fairy to have as a trait. Victoria bristled with anger as she looked down at her battered copy of Twilight. How dare that woman write such lies!

And also, there was no such thing as a "vegetarian vampire". No vampire cared about not killing humans or fell in love with one. No vampire distrusted a werewolf who had fallen in love with his human girlfriend because he would not have a human girlfriend in the first place. No vampire especially got married to a human and went on a honeymoon with her, then ended up having a freaky demon child. What kind of c.rap were the humans making up about vampires?

Perhaps the humans needed to be taught a lesson about vampires. Perhaps they needed to be taught that a vampire's bite most certainly does hurt, no matter what book or movie says otherwise, and that turning into a vampire is not something you want to happen because it is so painful that it is said to be worse than death. Grinning, Victoria kicked the book off the sill and into her bedroom, where it landed with a thud on the wooden floor. Ignoring it, Victoria left the small, dusty house and walked out onto the moonlit sidewalk. The thirst for blood filled her as she headed for downtown. There were always plenty of humans there and dark alleys were found conveniently beside shops.

Her pale skin gleamed eerily in the moonlight as she approached a teenage boy standing outside of a tavern. He was obviously trying to find a chance to sneak into the tavern undetected because he was underage. Victoria walked casually up to the boy. Her eyes gleamed as she gazed at him. He did not notice her until she was only two feet away from him.

“Um…hello, there,” the boy said awkwardly, staring at the beautiful vampire. He was too enchanted by her beauty to notice the wings. Every human that crossed a vampire’s path was. And even if they did, they would think that the wings were fakes, just some part of a costume.

“Hello. Let’s go in, have a bit of fun, shall we? Who will care whether we are old enough?” Victoria coaxed, smiling and kissing the boy on the lips, then drawing back from him and smiling teasingly.

The boy was obviously startled by being kissed by the beautiful girl. He stared longingly at Victoria for a moment then said dreamily, “Alright…” He followed her as she led him into the tavern.

Within the tavern, music was playing. The sound of the clatter of glasses, the chugging of drinks and the cheerful laughter of drunken men and women filled the air. No one noticed as the two underage looking teens entered. Victoria led the boy up to the bar, where a cheerful, drunken bartender poured them each a glass of wine.

Victoria was a vampire, so she did not need food or drink, but she could still enjoy the taste of good wine. She sipped the drink from her glass slowly as the boy quickly chugged down his, letting the bartender refill his glass and chugging down more wine. Gazing in an amused sort of way at him, she said, “I want to dance.” Then she dragged the boy onto the dance floor and did all the leading for the human was horrible at dancing.

By the time she led her new companion out of the tavern, he was clearly drunk from the way he swayed as he walked. “Wha we go na?” he slurred.

A mirthful grin appeared on Victoria’s face as she led the boy toward a dark alley beside a clothing shop. His question remained unanswered as she dragged him along until they were far enough in that no one was going to see or hear them. Then, she turned to the boy and pressed her lips against his. The boy did not resist, just let her kiss him. Then Victoria’s lips slowly moved down from the boy’s mouth until they rested against the hollow of his throat. Then she sank her fangs in, ignoring the boy’s shriek of pain. He struggled drunkenly against her but to no prevail as she sucked his blood joyfully, full of pleasure at the warm taste.

---

Stephenie Meyer smiled at the delicious, rich taste of the grape juice. She had enjoyed grape juice ever since she was a child. Smiling, the author sat at her computer, rewriting chapter 14 of a new story she was writing. Sitting back, she thought of how popular her Twilight series was. Everyone seemed to know of her characters Edward Cullen and Bella Swan.

Glancing out of the window, she saw the mailman come in his truck. He was putting some envelopes in her mailbox. Smiling, Stephenie turned back to her computer and added some more detail to the third paragraph of the chapter, changing a sentence to make it sound perfect. Glancing back towards the window, she noticed that the mailman was now gone.

Making sure to save her work, the author got up from the computer and walked over to the front door of her house. Opening it, she stepped out and starting walking to her mailbox to go get the mail when she spotted something odd on her lawn. Walking across the dew-laden green grass, she gasped.

The thing she had spotted on her lawn was the bloody, lifeless figure of a teenage boy. On his neck were strange fang-like punctures. Staring down at the figure, she saw that a piece of paper had been neatly folded and placed on the boy’s chest. Shakily, the famous author picked up the piece of paper and unfolded it. Written on it in blood were the words, ‘You better watch out. Real vampires don’t sparkle…’

[To be continued…]
  

Member Comments  
russoaly

12/Female
Colombia
All My Stories
Posted On: August 8, 2009
I'm not crazy about the idea of "sparkling vampires", but it's not THAT bad. Everyone below has criticized (sp?) it... I hate vampire stories, but yours seems pretty good so far, so I'll read =]
music_maker

16/Female
Tucson, AZ
All My Stories
Posted On: July 20, 2009
better than the twilight seriese!

bring back sailor moon

sorry bout that
Xx_Pixie_Dust_

15/Female
Canada
All My Stories
Posted On: July 20, 2009
Lol, that was good. :]

-Becca
xpOkErFaCe

17/Female
GA
All My Stories
Posted On: July 19, 2009
Love it!

*poke her
t_wilight

14/Female
United Kingdom
All My Stories
Posted On: July 19, 2009
Definetly and amusing story, criticizing the work of Stephenie Meyer. xD

I don't like the idea of vampires having wings...the part where it says and I quote, "It sounded more like something for a fairy to have as a trait."

And wings are somthing that sound more like a fairy to have.

Darkwood?

?

What a last name. xD Gah.

And where'd you get the grape juice idea from?

Hah hah. (:

Kept me amused so I pat you on the back, Sarah.

Keep me updated, love.

((Kat))
gothicgirl1

19/Female
United Kingdom
All My Stories
Posted On: July 18, 2009
cool.

the vampires most definantly dont sparkle.

¤ANDYapple¤
lululadybug3

17/Female
Canada
All My Stories
Posted On: July 18, 2009
lol oh man so for a person like me who hates twilight.. sorry all you fans i find this pretty funny still bot a big vampire fan but whatevere i can make do
Ink_Thief

17/Female
United Kingdom
All My Stories
Posted On: July 18, 2009
I second Peggie's comment lol. XD
LyingNaked

17/Female
Australia
All My Stories
Posted On: July 18, 2009
Lol. That was great. I hate vampires that sparkle! I mean, seriously. Although, I'm not crash hot on the idea that vamps have wings, mind, but it's good.

&&pegasus;;
eliginorski

17/Female
Canada
All My Stories
Posted On: July 18, 2009
Ha!

This is awesomely funny...
Jennabobenna

18/Female
Oakland, OR
All My Stories
Posted On: July 18, 2009
This is flipping fantastic.
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