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Want to try to make one or see what other people came up with?! Every story will participate in The Doll Palace ratings. Good stories will be awarded with Dollpoints.
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All created stories have to follow . We do not allow any sexually related material. The Doll Palace will be enforcing this rule and completely blocking access to the accounts that disregard our policy and create sexually oriented stories.
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Hi, my name is Toni
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 | ONE SHOT - It's Killing Me |
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 4.6 with 10 vote(s)
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| Created: 2009-04-09 10:32:57 |
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WARNING: *cough*incest*cough*
Forgive me. Emerie had told me to write some ages ago, and with Brutie's Lethal Fetishes that she has yet to finish *pointed look* [Lol. Sorry.] I thought why not. it's not explicit. I also wanted to see just how people would take something like this. (:
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Love; it comes in so many innocent forms of delicate beauty. There’s the gentle lull of fondness for a close friend; the passionate, intangible need for a lover and the playful, tested adoration for a sibling, both older and younger. But what happens when that innocent, familial feeling of sibling love morphs and twists into something ugly, something misshapen and taboo? What happens when the sibling you love so develops into someone beautiful, and that naive laughter of days gone by, that innate domestic love distorts into a sickening, forbidden affection that makes your skin crawl with disgust? What is to become of you when you fear the oblivion that once was blissful sleep lest your dreams reveal the dark, despicable truth that lingers and festers in your heart of hearts?
What happens then?
What can you do when you have nowhere to run, no one to talk to because you know that the desperate words that would fall from your lips would only cause detestation and repulsion, feelings you have drowned yourself in for too long? Where can you hide when your own mind becomes a cage, and the voice that guides you through the darkness begins to question your sanity, sanity that you feel is hanging on by a fraying thread? Where can you run when what you fear is yourself? Where can you escape when you are the problem, when your very skin provides the bars to your cage and traps you with your own hate?
These thoughts, these questions and doubts and fears and hates were what constantly, incessantly, resounded and echoed in Matt’s weary mind. They screamed and hackled and teased and tore, haunting his dreams, his waking thoughts. They loitered and they tainted, they aggravated and contaminated, they perverted each innocent gesture into something illicit and lewd and abhorrent. He didn’t want these musings, these deadly venomous thoughts. He didn’t want to be the filthy, appalling creature that studied him solemnly through silver-grey eyes from the glass front of the ornate mirror. He didn’t want to fear each and every sunrise, each beautiful dawn that only reminded him of the hideous monster stirring within him.
He wanted to be normal. He wanted to be average. He didn’t want this looming over his head like a dark cloud, ugly and evil. He didn’t want to die a little more inside every time he set eyes on him, every time he remembered that he couldn’t have him. He didn’t want to loathe himself a little more every time he looked in the mirror, every time he caught sight of those steel eyes of his that begged and craved for something unspeakable.
He didn’t want to feel the agonising ache in his chest. He didn’t want to desire to be someone, anyone else in the world, just to escape the depravity that was he. He didn’t want this dysfunctional kink in his heart that created such unwanted, unjustifiable affections that screamed something nasty in every language.
This wasn’t who he wanted to be. And yet, there was little he could change. He had tried, by lord he had tried. He tried everything he could to rid himself of such thoughts. He had manoeuvred between various relationships, he had moved out of the family home, he had limited his interaction with his own family and yet the feelings still didn’t fade and ebb into the background and relieve him of the constant anxiety that savaged his body.
And yet, he couldn’t come to terms with his feelings, he wouldn’t allow himself to accept it, because if he did that would be as good as admitting that he was a hideous, repulsive creature that deserved nothing he owned. So he could gain no peace, no relief from himself. He was stuck, stuck with those grotesque feelings with no outlet or escape. He was trapped and captured within himself.
This was never meant to happen. This wasn’t how everything was supposed to go. This should never have even been a fleeting thought in his twisted, dysfunctional mind and yet it was. It wasn’t even meant to be a mere consideration and yet it lingered within each waking moment. It wasn’t meant to have blossomed in to this and yet someone above had showed him no mercy and granted him a lifetime of misery.
He was meant to find a girl, fall in love, get married and live happily every after. Instead he grew up with a boy, fell in love and was condemned to live a life of despair and disgust because the boy he grew up with was no friend, but a relative. His brother. And Matt had come to find there was no escaping family. He had come to learn there was no escape for him. |
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its weird funky and just i dont know 
