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Hi, my name is Brie

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Forgive and Forget?

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4.78 with 9 vote(s)

By emo_ballerina

Created: 2008-08-04 20:20:16

All stories by emo_ballerina

Creek...slam! the door shut

my life is gone

it went with you as you left

it was torn apart

by the door, bone crushing

in the threshold of hell

10:10 make a wish

could we go back?

that's my wish

back before her

the ruler of hell

but thats not possible

you have that regret

dangleing over your head

did you know,

it tore me apart

i forgave, but not so easily

could i forget

Member Comments

breanah_brutal

16/Female
Fort Worth, TX
All My Stories

Posted On: August 14, 2008
hmmm.......

beautiful..

your an amazing writer

and i agree with ORii

dont be afraid to write its amazing.....

you could be like me and totally suck.....

Wuvv

BlairBear

shyone106

21/Female
Seychelles
All My Stories

Posted On: August 4, 2008
it is really good

i agree with both orii and IFK

PinkRoseTears

17/Female
United Kingdom
All My Stories

Posted On: July 26, 2008
I agree with them both.

This is a great poem, too

Original_scree

20/Female
Zionsville, IN
All My Stories

Posted On: July 3, 2008
I'm not exactly an expert on poetry. What I do know is that the best poems I've read and written are based on real feelings and real life situations. I can see you've done that here.

So here's my opinion--This is a good poem. I don't feel like there is much I could tell you about how to make it better. The lines are all about the same length. It has a good rhythm and beat to it. And it has the emotion.

My advice to you is this--don't be afraid to write. Don't be afraid to take some pride in your work. This is the failing that I have seen in many of the writers on here, myself included. The work is good but they can't see that because they are too busy comparing it to everyone else's writing.

You are a good writer. You have a strong voice. Use that.

Don't be afraid to DM me if you have anything else you need help with. I'll be glad to read more of your work.

--0Rii

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