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Hi, my name is Katee
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 | Forever Damned [4] |
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 4.89 with 9 vote(s)
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| Created: 2008-06-05 15:03:40 |
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--
So, things I learned today: my best friend was in the midst of a crisis because of me, Daniel Reeds- the cute little shy guy I had grown to love - was being abused by someone, my school was full of juvenile boys, oh and despite the fact that I was dead I could still feel things.
It's times like these it sucks to be all alone in this world, stuck between dead and not dead.
My feet took me away from the school, but in the opposite direction of my home. The opposite direction of the rest of my world. I really didn't care where I was going at this point anymore. If it meant getting away from that place full of bullies and idiots, that place where learning wasn't an option or a concern, that place full of living breathing corpse, then getting away from it satisfied me to the fullest.
“Don't think,” I muttered aloud. I wasn't in the mood to hear my thoughts. They were all so confusing and full of self-pity. I hated myself like this. Coming up with excuses to feel bad and knowing they were all realistic.
“Don't think,” I said louder. It wasn't stopping the flow of thoughts to my brain. They were becoming erratic and frenzied as I tried to force them away.
I stopped in my footsteps and looked around the scenery. I recognized this place. It was half a block away from the local playground that sat across the street from a elementary school. I had played there when I was little. Without thinking, I let my feet carry me to the place and I ran towards the swingset when my feet touched the green grass.
I was greeted with the smell of warm leather and freshly cut grass when I sat. Blinking at the new sensation, I shivered. My eyes traveled to the dirt at my feet, a path from feet sinking in to stop themselves from sailing too high or to push themselves into the sky. Without thinking, I began to sail back and forward.
I tilted my head back, waiting for the sun to kiss my cheeks and warm me up. I hadn't felt warm in a while.
Going back, I had the urge to look up. Then straight ahead, at the road between the school and the park. The school ended later than the high school by almost a full hour. Kids would normally run straight across the street and race into the vacant area and claim what was rightfully theirs until their mothers called them home or they got hungry or hot or bored.
“How can anyone be bored here?” I asked myself, still soaring high in the air.
Eyes still glued to the motionless building, I watched buses from the school pull by slowly. On occasion a car would fly by. The driver ignoring the sign that clearly declared this a school zone. My head suddenly cramped up, as if my brain had shuddered and my head needed to implode for a second and comfort it.
Speeding. Sign. Bright lights. Stop. Stop. STOP.
I stopped swinging and curled my body up, falling onto the ground in the process. I didn't get scuffed up or bruised. I just felt the ground touching me and heard the swing stop moving abruptly.
Gasping for air I didn't need, I looked up. Back at the sign and another car that was coming quickly. My face flushed when I felt the unreal sensation of someone staring at me. I glanced at the girl standing in the middle of the road. She was staring at me, obviously wondering if I was ok after my fall.
But she wasn't supposed to see that.
Suddenly the car flashed in my mind again. Simultaneously, we turned to the car. I could see the driver with a cell phone next to his ear. He was looking at something beside him and not at the little girl who was in front of him in broad daylight.
RUN! I tried to scream. But my voice wasn't working this time. It wouldn't matter anyway. Just because she saw me doesn't mean she would hear me.
My heartbeat, or whatever it was, was hurting me as I watched the scene unfold before me – the five seconds feeling like an eternity. The girl was there, caught up in the man like a deer in headlights. She wasn't moving or even attempting to.
I felt the sob escape my throat almost silently when the car collided with her, the driver suddenly noticing her as his vehicle crushed her frail body. I imagined how he would see her when he got out of his car. Her white dress covered in red poppies and roses that hadn't existed minutes ago. Would he notice her bright pink backpack that had flew across the his hood and landed in someone's yard? Did he think it was just a coincidence that she had been there or would he ever realize it was entirely his fault that she had possibly died as a result of his careless actions?
I didn't stay to watch. My questions weren't necessary. I could already answer one: she was dead. I had seen her. Everything would end as expected. I didn't need to worry.
He had already called the paramedics on his damned cellphone. |
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