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Hi, my name is Aeroo
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Story 

Edward Cullen is stabbed through the heart

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Story Rating   4.56  with 9 vote(s)
By Aerokine Send DollMail
Created: 2009-02-15 14:26:24 All stories by Aerokine
Title: Edward Cullen is stabbed through the heart.

Fandom: ... I hope you can guess.

Rating: BARF ON YO FACE. PG. But much randomer than the last one. DX

Summary: Knowing me, what do you think? Sequel to Bella Swan gets hit by a truck.

---

Somewhere, far away from Forks, in Alaska, Edward Cullen was trying ice fishing.

Unfortunately he had forgotten any equipment, so he had simply knocked a hole in the ice and dropped through to look for wildlife. There were several animals that looked tasty, but the vampire was not an excellent swimmer and could not catch any fish. He was also very heavy, being made out of a sparkly rock-like substance, so he was rapidly sinking.

"Perhaps this was not the best course of action," He told a rotten piece or algae.

The algae did not respond.

"Well, that's rather rude! And after all I did for you!" Edward glared smolderingly at the algae, conveniently forgetting that he had never done anything for it.

Again, it did not respond.

Edward began to sing to it quietly in order to show it how very sensitive and complicated he was, a small song that went like this:

"A crystal cow, in the sky, it's so beautiful, like my love, my love for yooooouuuuuuuuuu...." He began to forget the words to the love song, so he serenaded the algae with the Ghostbusters themesong instead. "There's something strange, in the neighborhood, who ya gonna call, GHOSTBUSTERS!"

The algae drifted away.

Edward's complicated little heart was broken into pieces. He now realized why he had never been attracted to Bella. He was...

ALGAESEXUAL.

He swam as well as he could after the little piece of vegetation. "Wait! My love, wait for me!" Edward did not notice the whaling boat that was fast approaching. He did not notice the whale on the other side of him.

He did not notice the harpoon speeding towards him until he realized that he weighed a lot more than usual.

"N-no... I've been impaled... with... wait... what are those things called...?"

He would have lived, and gone on to create demon spawn with annoying women, but the spear was made out of silver. And as Meyer had studiously pretended was false, silver is bad for vampire's health.

"Ohhh... ohhhh... I'm developing breast cancer..." Edward moaned to his love the algae.

He suddenly realized he was going to die.

Without ever kissing the algae once.

Although he couldn't cry, he sobbed tears of venom as all went black.

The last thing he saw was the algae drifting away.

FIN.

AN: Makes even less sense than the Bella one.

In order to distract you from the random story, I will present you a link.

http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/bleach/en/images//e/e2/Nnoitra.jpg

I find that person sexxay.

... I still have no regrets.



--Aeroo
  

Member Comments  
Comments Page:  1  /  2  /  >    
cool_lover17

19/Female
Christmas Island
All My Stories
Posted On: July 15, 2009
LOL
Muffin01

15/Female
Rancho Palos Ver, CA
All My Stories
Posted On: April 10, 2009
Haha! This was hilarious. Algaesexual?... Edward totally deserves it! Nice!
Aerokine

101/Female
South Georgia And The South Sandwich Islands
All My Stories
Posted On: March 3, 2009
Thank you!
bluemoongem

17/Female

All My Stories
Posted On: March 2, 2009
lol that's awesome
KJ10

13/Female
United Kingdom
All My Stories
Posted On: February 20, 2009
I love Edward Cullen so much it makes me sick

KJ10, wife of Edward XD
Aerokine

101/Female
South Georgia And The South Sandwich Islands
All My Stories
Posted On: February 16, 2009
Bell_Belle, I'm not mad at you. You did your best to be non-offensive and I appreciate the feedback. It's the girl who told me to go to hell that I'm p.issed at. ^_^
Bell_Belle

16/Female
Japan
All My Stories
Posted On: February 16, 2009
Okay ... now THAT was funny ... I really love Edward and I want to marry him but ... THAT was funny ... he sang to algae! Oh my gosh ...

And I'm sorry if you're angry about the Nessie subject I was going for non-offensive!

But this is still so funny! Edward! Oh my gosh!

~Gina!

PinkRoseTears

15/Female
United Kingdom
All My Stories
Posted On: February 15, 2009
Yes!!!!

Shut the heck up. Everybody apperciates it when Edward and Bella die. Go be a wimpy fangirl somewhere else:]
Aerokine

101/Female
South Georgia And The South Sandwich Islands
All My Stories
Posted On: February 15, 2009
IT WILL NEVER STOP, GIRL.

I LOVE MY NONSENSE JUST THE WAY IT IS!

LASKADAFLAA!!!

I MUST ABUSE CAPS TO CONVEY HOW MUCH YOUR COMMENT MADE ME ROFTL!

YEAH BABY!
divafyi5

15/Female
Fredericktown, PA
All My Stories
Posted On: February 15, 2009
I love Edward Cullen.He is gourgeous.I'd appreciate if you'd stop this nonsense.At once!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Xx_Pixie_Dust_

15/Female
Canada
All My Stories
Posted On: February 15, 2009
JACOB'S NEXT! :]

Muahahahahaa!

-Becca
Aerokine

101/Female
South Georgia And The South Sandwich Islands
All My Stories
Posted On: February 15, 2009
Oh, my little grandkids! You're so...

Um...

...

Can't exactly say "beautiful" now, can I...
brutusdog

19/Female
United Kingdom
All My Stories
Posted On: February 15, 2009
*marries*

WEEE

QUICK TO THE HONEY MOON SUITE

*bares lots of mutated story-brutie children*

:]

There you go ^.^
Aerokine

101/Female
South Georgia And The South Sandwich Islands
All My Stories
Posted On: February 15, 2009
I dun think you want to kiss me. I'm oozing snots and sick.

YOU HAVE MY BLESSING, BRUTIE. Make me lotsa grandkids.

Algaesexuals FTW!



--Aeroo
lilmizqt

18/Female
United Kingdom
All My Stories
Posted On: February 15, 2009
Algaes_xual! Hahahahahaha. That was funny :]
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