C'yber Bullying - Facts And Help

[Miranda_]

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Q: What is cy'berbullying, exactly?

"Cy'berbullying" is when a child, pr'eteen or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, pr'eteen or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones. It has to have a minor on both sides, or at least have been instigated by a minor against another minor. Once adults become involved, it is plain and simple cy'ber-harassment or cy'berstalking. Adult cy'ber-harassment or cy'berstalking is NEVER called cy'berbullying.


Q: How do cy'ber bullies target their victims?


There are two kinds of cy'berbullying, direct attacks (messages sent to your kids directly) and cy'berbullying by proxy (using others to help cy'berbully the victim, either with or without the accomplice's knowledge). Because cy'berbullying by proxy often gets adults involved in the harassment, it is much more dangerous.

Direct attacks include use of instant messenger, posts on forums or on forum profiles, blogs, sending nasty messages thru text messages or email, sending malicious code, sending p*rn or viruses thru email and impersonation.

Cy'berbullying by proxy is when a cy'berbully gets someone else to do their dirty work. Most of the time they are unwitting accomplices and don't know that they are being used by the cy'berbully. Cy'berbullying by proxy is the most dangerous kind of cy'berbullying because it often gets adults involve in the harassment and people who don't know they are dealing with a kid or someone they know.

Q: Why do kids cy'berbully each other?

Who knows why kids do anything? When it comes to cy'berbullying, they are often motivated by anger, revenge or frustration. Sometimes they do it for entertainment or because they are bored and have too much time on their hands and too many tech toys available to them. Many do it for laughs or to get a reaction. Some do it by accident, and either send a message to the wrong recipient or didn't think before they did something. The Power-hungry do it to torment others and for their ego. Revenge of the Nerd may start out defending themselves from traditional bullying only to find that they enjoy being the tough guy or gal. Mean girls do it to help bolster or remind people of their own social standing. And some think they are righting wrong and standing up for others.


Because their motives differ, the solutions and responses to each type of cy'berbullying incident has to differ too. Unfortunately, there is no "one size fits all" when cy'berbullying is concerned. Only two of the types of cy'berbullies have something in common with the traditional schoolyard bully. Experts who understand schoolyard bullying often misunderstand cy'berbullying, thinking it is just another method of bullying. But the motives and the nature of cy'bercommunications, as well as the demographic and profile of a cy'berbully differ from their offline counterpart.

[Miranda_]

Q: How can you prevent cy'berbullying?

Educating the kids about the consequences (losing their ISP or IM accounts) helps. Teaching them to respect others and to take a stand against bullying of all kinds helps too.

Q: How can you stop it once it starts?

Because their motives differ, the solutions and responses to each type of cy'berbullying incident has to differ too. Unfortunately, there is no "one size fits all" when cy'berbullying is concerned. Only two of the types of cy'berbullies have something in common with the traditional schoolyard bully. Experts who understand schoolyard bullying often misunderstand cy'berbullying, thinking it is just another method of bullying. But the motives and the nature of cy'bercommunications, as well as the demographic and profile of a cy'berbully differ from their offline counterpart.

Q: What is the school's role in this?

When schools try and get involved by disciplining the student for cy'berbullying actions that took place off-campus and outside of school hours, they are often sued for exceeding their authority and violating the student's free speech right.

Q: What's the parents' role in this?

Parents need to be the one trusted place kids can go when things go wrong online and offline. Yet they often are the one place kids avoid when things go wrong online.

Q: What methods work with different kinds of bullies?

Help can be found here
Take a stand

Q: How can I tell the difference between flaming, cy'ber-bullying and harassment and cy'berstalking? (A guide for law enforcement)

It’s not always easy to tell these apart, except for serious cases of cy'berstalking, when you “know it when you see it.” And the only difference between “cy'berbullying” and cy'ber-harassment is the age of both the victim and the perpetrator. They both have to be under-age.
When you get a call, your first response people need to be able to tell when you need to get involved, and quickly, and when it may not be a matter for law enforcement. It might help to start by running through this checklist. If the communication is only a flame, you may not be able to do much about it. (Sometimes ISPs will consider this a terms of service violation.) But the closer it comes to real life threats the more likely you have to get involved as law enforcement. We recommend that law enforcement agents ask parents the following questions. Their answers will help guide you when to get involved and when to recommend another course of action.


The kind of threat:

1. The communication uses lewd language
2. The communication insults your child directly (“You are stupid!”)
3. The communication threatens your child vaguely (“I’m going to get you!”)
4. The communication threatens your child with bodily harm. (“I’m going to beat you up!”)
5. There is a general serious threat. (“There is a bomb in the school!” or “Don’t take the school bus today!”)
6. The communication threatens your child with serious bodily harm or death (“I am going to break your legs!” or “I am going to kill you!”)

The frequency of the threats:

1. It is a one-time communication
2. The communication is repeated in the same or different ways
3. The communications are increasing
4. Third-parties are joining in and communications are now being received from (what appears to be) additional people

The source of the threats:

1. Your child knows who is doing this
2. Your child thinks they know who is doing this
3. Your child has no idea who is doing this
4. The messages appear to be from several different people

The nature of the threats:

1. Repeated e-mails or IMs
2. Following the child around online, into chat rooms, favorite Web sites, etc.
3. Building fake profiles, Web sites or posing as your child’s e-mail or IM
4. Planting statements to provoke third-party stalking and harassment
5. Signing your child up for p*rn sites and e-mailing lists and junk e-mail and IM.
6. Breaking in to their accounts online
7. Stealing or otherwise accessing their passwords
8. Posting images of the child online (taken from any source, including video and photo phones)
9. Posting real or doctored sexual images of the child online
10. Sharing personal information about the child
11. Sharing intimate information about the child (sexual, special problems, etc.)
12. Sharing contact information about the child coupled with a sexual solicitation (“for a good time call …” or “I am interested in [fill in the blank] sex…”)
13. Reporting the child for real or provoked terms of service violations (“notify wars” or “warning wars”)
14. Encouraging that others share their top ten “hit lists,” or ugly lists, or sl*t lists online and including your child on that list.
15. Posting and encouraging others to post nasty comments on your child’s blog.
16. Hacking your child’s computer and sending your child malicious codes.
17. Sending threats to others (like the president of the United States) or attacking others while posing as your child.
18. Copying others on your child’s private e-mail and IM communications.
19. Posting bad reviews or feedback on your child without cause.
20. Registering your child’s name and setting up a bash Web site or profile.
21. Posting rude or provocative comments while posing as your child (such as insulting racial minorities at a Web site devoted to that racial minority).
22. Sending spam or malware to others while posing as your child.
23. Breaking the rules of a Web site or service while posing as your child.
24. Setting up a vote for site (like “hot or not?”) designed to embarrass or humiliate your child.
25. Masquerading as your child for any purpose.
26. Posting your child’s text-messaging address or cell phone number online to encourage abuse and increase your child’s text-messaging or cell phone charges.
27. Launching a denial of service attack on your child’s Web site
28. Sending “jokes” about your child to others or mailing lists.

The more repeated the communications are, the greater the threats (or enlarging this to include third-parties) and the more dangerous the methods, the more likely law enforcement or legal process needs to be used. If personal contact information is being shared online, this must be treated very seriously.

If the child thinks they know who is doing this, that may either make this more serious, or less. But once third-parties are involved (hate groups, sexually-deviant groups, etc.) it makes no difference if the person who started this is a young seven year old doing it for a laugh. It escalates quickly and can be dangerous.

It’s best to work out relationships with the big ISPs in your area well before you need them. Find their offline contact information, including off hours. Learn how to track an IP address and preserve evidence. And make sure that you issue your subpoenas in the form they need, using your time zone for tracking the dynamic IP addresses of record. Many ISPs discard the subscriber/IP data after a week to thirty day period. So time is crucial. If you need to get your paperwork together, send them a quick note asking them to preserve the records pending your formal subpoena. They will usually do this on a less formal request on law enforcement letterhead.

[Miranda_]

Useful Links

Here are some useful links for you to check out to learn more about cy'berbullying or get help if you're a victim.

Cy'berbullying; laugh at it and you're part of it
Cy'berbullying and online safety

Cy'berbullying on TDP

If you are being cy'berbullied on the mainsite, then you must report it. Either PM support on forums or use the "Report Offence" button. If the bullying takes place on forums, then PM either myself or Kitty at once. Please provide as much evidence as you can find; links to threads posted on forums, forwards of threatening PMs or links to profile comments. If the comments are posted on your profile, do not delete them.

The best way to stay safe is to do the following:

1. Do not post any personal information, either about yourself or your friends and family, on your profile.
2. Do not share your password with anyone. Don't allow anyone to share your account.
3. Do not go into avatar chat; use the PM system on forums or profile comments instead.
4. If need be, make your forum profile private.
5. Do not start flame wars; report offenders. If you are getting harrassing PMs, don't reply; just forward them to myself or Kitty.

Always remember; you are entitled to post on these forums and talk to people in safety without having to feel frightened to log on. The forum staff here will always help you and deal with those who are bullying you; don't be afraid to come to us for help at any time.

Cy'berbullying on Dollsters

Since right now we only have forums, you should always report the offending post or PM using the report system. If you are being attacked on the chatroom, take a print screen of the messages, note the time, and PM both to Kitty so she can examine it and take appropriate action.

[Silent_Wolf]

As a note: I very much dislike bullying of any sort. If I catch it on here, the users involved are going to be in serious trouble in my book. And if we find out that somebody started it and then played the victim (we can determine this, believe it or not, we're not foolish.), that person will also be in deep trouble.

[youth34]

Here are some more Bullying Facts .Youth is the time when people are the most active in their lives. New ideas strike minds, and to act upon them at once is the immediate goal to the youngsters. Harmless practical jokes and remarks are the charm of the young age but it turns bad and serious when things reach up to the harassment and maltreatment to other