On the Courthouse Steps

[Cheshire1996]

Just some funny courthouse related jokes found during a recent web browsing session...


Lawyer: Now doctor,before you performed the autopsy did you check for the patients pulse?
Doctor: I did not
Lawyer: Did you check for blood pressure?
Doctor: I did not
Lawyer: Did you check for breathing?
Doctor: I did not
Lawyer: So was impossible that the man was alive when you began the autopsy?
Doctor: Completely improbable
Lawyer: And how can you be sure, doctor?
Doctor: His brain was sitting on my desk in a jar
Lawyer: But could the patient have been alive nevertheless?
Doctor: Yes, it is possible the the man could be alive and be practicing law somewhere...

Judge: Well sir, I've reviews the case and I've decided to send your wife seven hundred and seventy dollars per week.
Husband: That certainly sounds fair, I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.

Lawyer: Now doctor, is it true that when someone dies in their sleep they don't find out until the next morning?

Lawyer: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Lawyer: Now you say these stairs went down to the basement?
Witness: Yes, they did.
Lawyer: And did they also go up?

Lawyer: Can you describe the offender.
Witness: Certainly, medium height and weight with a thick beard.
Lawyer: Was the offender male or female?

Lawyer: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
Doctor: So far in my career all of my autopsies have been performed on dead people.