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Default Alternate endings to Twilight - 07-07-2009, 04:41 PM

This is where you can post amusing endings to the book. You may support the sparkles, but if you do, we will NOT support you. Think about this carefully before you post "They had s*x one million times then bella died of liver problems from all the over-reproduction" O_O;;

Rightso. My turn.

Edward and bella were staring up at the stars.
"Oh, I love you so much, Edward" She sighed, as he continued to compress her wrist bones painfully with his claws.
"I know, my beloved PET" said edward nastilly.
"The stars are so pretty.. especially that one" Bella said, pointing up and a very large twinkle in the sky.

Edward stared dumbly at the thing in the sky.
"Bella, that's not a star... OMFG RUN!!!" He said, then dived backwards with bella, almost snapping her clean in half in the process, as the ground where they'd been a minute ago exploded in a cloud of grass and mud.
"It's.. it's... it's a COFFIN!" Squeeked edward meekly, while trying to constrict bella's breathing bye pressing her ribcage.

Just then the door burst off the coffin, and fell on them; this was not as small a thing as it sounded due to the fact the coffin was constructed of reinforced iron.
Something stepped out of the coffin and stood on the lid, with edward and bella still under it. There where some muffled screams.
Alucard glared at the coffin lid.
"I ASSUMED I'd been sent to kill a vampire?" He said, as he stepped off the lid and heaved it off the thoroughly squashed bella and edward.

Just then another coffin fell out of the sky, and this didn't turn out very well as it was made from heavy wood. It splintered upon impact but didn't entirely shatter. A girl in a modified military uniform crawled out and stood up, then grabbed a large rifle from the remains of the wooden coffin.

"Sorry I'm late, master" Seras said sheepishly, and directed her gaze at what appeared to be two humanoid sparklers on the ground, which where struggling to stand.
"What the bloody hell?" She asked sheepishly.

"My thoughts exactly, draculina. I shall check the mission brief page thingy" He pulled a page out of his coat and read the top line aloud.
"Alucard, my servant, you are herebye charged with the execution of two 'Meyerpires' they names be Edward and bella. Go now, and may all the unholy creatures of the night be cast into eternal ****ation. Amen" He finished.

"What is a meyerpire?" Alucard mused.

END OF PART ONE. XD


“I mean a weapon you hold. You have a gun, Tanith has a sword... I want a stick.” ~ Valkyrie Cain
“I’ll buy you a stick for Christmas.” - Skulduggery Pleasant
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