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-   -   Dog Diary V.S. Cat Diary (http://www.thedollpalace.com/forum/jokes/19530-dog-diary-v-s-cat-diary.html)

LadyBast0911 09-11-2008 08:41 PM

Dog Diary V.S. Cat Diary
 
DOG's DIARY :

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!




CAT's DIARY :

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.


The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.


Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.

I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

*******s!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food.
I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.
' I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.


Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.


I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges.
He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return.


He is obviously retarded.

ButterflyBomb 09-11-2008 10:34 PM

I love that thing! And it's so true! My cats are always trying to kill me, and we have to lock them in a room when company is over. They're always trying to get into rooms and out of the house, and all that other stuff. Except, one of our cats adores her "rations".

Once again, I loves it!:mrgreen:

FlowersFall 09-12-2008 12:53 AM

This is really funny! (even though I don't like cats) but I did get a good laugh out of it! LoL

PrettyGirl422 09-14-2008 01:28 PM

lol!! The dog was so retarted! The cat was so funny!!! :D

ponyboy 03-22-2009 04:20 PM

you should make some more jokes

Andjelija 11-04-2009 07:59 AM

Funny!!!:grin:

LancasterPrincess 11-07-2009 02:44 AM

Oh my God! You had my husband and I in stitches! This was SO funny! We have cats (3 of them) so the Cat Diary was obviously our personal favorite.


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