Alternate Endings To Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows

[Miranda_]

Note; this is NOT a thread to post real endings of the book. Any I find in here WILL BE DELETED. This is a funny thread and not a serious one.


Basically, it was me and a couple of ppl I know hanging around in the last hour of my shift, and this person I know vaguely asked me how the book ended. I just made up a random ending, and that went to me and my mates coming up with weirder and weirder alternate endings/plot twists. Then Sarah and I came up with a few more. Here they are in all their glory; feel free to add any you come up with. XD

1. Hermione goes insane, murders everyone and runs off with Voldemort. They then rule the world together.

2. Luna suddenly reveals herself as the Anti-Christ and incinerates everyone.

3. Harry falls in love with Bellatrix and joins the Death Eaters to be with her.

4. Sirius appears from nowhere, claiming he was just hiding behind the curtain.

5. Voldemort realises he made a huge error; the real person he needs to kill isn't Harry, but Dudley. So he kills the entire Dursley family and Harry lives happily ever after.

6. Molly Weasley has an affair with Lucius Malfoy and she and Narcissa have a catfight in the Hogshead.

7. Lupin runs off with Professor McGonagal to get married.

8. Voldemort discovers the muggle invention of cannabis, and after getting high, decides to give up the idea of world domination in order to become a hippy and live in a commune.

9. Snape reveals himself as Harry's real father in a Star Wars moment.

10. Hagrid inadvertantly hatches out another Basilisk, which then proceeds to kill everyone.

11. Cho goes completely insane and butchers Harry for breaking her heart.

[Silent_Wolf]

12. Sirius appears running into the Great Hall as Harry is half insulting Voldemort, wearing no shirt and yelling about insane fangirls.

[tjsgrl01]

13. Hermione and Ron plan a wedding, and as they are saying their vows, the church door bursts open, and Harry comes in screaming "HERMIONEEE! nooooo!" in slow motion. She realizes they are both desparate gits and runs off with Malfoy.

14. Harry eternally stupifies Voldemort and sells him to the Haunted Houe ride in Disney World via eBay.

[chiisan_kawaii]

xD these are funny...
15. Harry decides to go evil and takes over in Voldy's stead. o_O
16. Harry gets brain damage and jinxes Voldemort into thinking that they're both pigs that can fly. x_x

[TheHayleyDoll]

17. Harry and Hermione get together and Ron goes all emo and kills himself. As does Ginny.
18. Someone small-perhaps a baby *wink*-bites off Lord Voldemort's arm and steals his wand, and kills everyone
19. Harry and Draco adopt a child and say, 'There's a thin line between love and hate', and then head off to th nearest closet.
20. Ginny announces she's pregnant! Which makes everyone freak out and die. Except Harry. And they life happily ever after. XD.

[Miranda_]

21. Harry does a complete about turn and announces that he's in love with Millicent Bullstrode, causing Ginny to go on a killing spree before killing herself.

22. In a completely unseen plot twist, Hermione is pregnant... and the father could be either one of the following; Harry, Draco, Hagrid, Marcus Flint, Dean or George. Many ppl either faint or kill themselves.

23. Everyone drinks the koolaid.

24. Dobby gets completely confused and bites Harry's finger off, thinking he's in another book entirely.

25. Luna and Neville run away together, having planted a bomb which kills everyone else.

[TheHayleyDoll]

26. Hermione is pregnant with the heir of Slytherin, Tom Riddle's child. *gasps*
27. Voldemort decides to kill himself for no apparent reason.
28. The Dark Lord announces lingerie night! Snape is not pleased.

[Miranda_]

29. Harry decides to kill himself on the very first page, thus ending the book 699 pages earlier.

30. Draco finds out his father is actually Sirius.

[TheHayleyDoll]

31. Harry finds out his father is ALSO Sirius, making him and Malfoy brothers.
32. No one dies and everything is the same as it was after Book 6.
33. The first page says 'Harry kills Voldemort' and also lists the deaths. The rest of the pages are blank.

[Miranda_]

34. No-one dies, instead they all go on Jerry Springer. Meaning that a lot of ppl throw chairs at each other, but in the end sort out their differences.

35. Ron murders Harry for kissing his sister once too often.