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Dermatillomania - Skin Picking
Ever since I was in my early teens (around the time I developed Body Dysmorphic Disorder) I have had a crazy compulsion with skin picking (particularly, my lips, scalp, and skin/nails on my fingers). Apparently a 1/4 of people with BDD have this problem. It started off with striving to look perfect. If I felt my nails were uneven, I'd bite them down to nothing. If I saw any dry skin on my lips, I'd pick it off and would pick until I felt they were smooth. If I felt any bumps on my scalp, I'd pick them until they bled. If I had acne, I'd pick it off.
I told myself this was normal. "So many people bite their nails", "It's probably just a nervous twitch type thing" - but it had nothing to do with being nervous. Even though I don't struggle with BDD like I used to, I kept the habit. It's become something I do without consciously thinking about it. My husband hates it, and sometimes he grabs my hand and holds it so I stop, but it causes me to get extremely agitated and I usually end up yelling at him. I know he's trying to help, but the withdrawal causes the "butterflies in the stomach" feeling and makes me unable to think about anything other than "when will he let go so I can continue what I was doing?" If it's my lips I was picking at though, I just end up chewing them, because he can't stop me from doing that. Right now I just stopped to pick/bite my fingers(or nails). Actually, since I started this thread post, I've stopped at least half a dozen times for about a minute or two each time. Sometimes these sessions can last for nearly an hour straight. O_O Does anyone else have this sort of compulsive behaviour? |
I'm always chewing the skin around the corners of my nails, or just nomming on my nails altogether.
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I do that sometimes, usually when stressed; back when I used to self harm, I'd often worry at the cuts so they'd take ages to heal.
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I will never shave my head because of all the scars that could be seen. I wonder if I have a form of what you described....I've been obsessed with scratching at my scalp or any bumps in my ears since I was at least five...nervous habit. I do it when I get incredibly bored, anxious, or angry/agitated, and half the time I don't even know I'm doing it. It doesn't hurt (I mean it probably should when the scratching leads to bleeding) but I also feel a weird sense of satisfaction when I finally get what ever spot I digging at to smooth out, even if that means it bleeds. I'm ashamed of it, of course, but my doctor always said it was part of my OCD (it's a compulsion and I guess I am obsessed with it), but what you described sounds closer to what actually happens. Except I don't bite my nails.
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People with it don't have to have all the different types. And quite a few people with OCD have it as well. I know how you feel bella about not even realizing you're doing it or that feeling of satisfaction when it's smooth, regardless of the damage you've done to yourself.
It's because of that feeling that they generally treat it like a substance abuse problem, not a neurological disorder. From wikipedia page (the important stuff): Quote:
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