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Miranda_ 06-30-2009 07:41 PM

Self Harm
This is the topic to discuss self harm in all its forms. Do not post anything that either attacks self harm or self harmers, especially if it shows a lack of knowlege on the subject. Also, please don't post stuff like "I am an emo and I cut myself"; this just shows staggering ignorance on the subject. If you have any questions that are not covered in the below FAQ, then post them in the thread.

Q) What is self harm?

A) Self harm, or self injury, is the act of deliberately inflicting pain and injury on yourself. There are many ways in which self harmers do this; cutting, burning, scratching with nails, hitting with hands or objects, overdosing, imbibing toxic substances, pulling out hair. Self harm is rarely done with suicidal intent and should not be lumped in with suicidal injuries.

Q) Are self harmers attention seekers?

A) No. Self harmers generally feel ashamed of their injuries and seek to hide them by covering up cuts with long sleeves and trousers, hiding the objects they hurt themselves with and inventing excuses for injuries. Self harm is a secret thing and many sufferers will not actively seek help. Many believe that what they are doing is necessary for their mental wellbeing and therefore don't believe that they need to be helped.

Q) Why do they do it?

A) Poor self esteem and warped self image, caused by bullying or abuse, is a common motive. Suffers often feel as tho the physical pain caused by the self inflicted injuries is easier to deal with than the emotional pain inside their heads. Many feel a release when they hurt themselves; also, part of it can either be a pleasurable feeling as endorphins are released, or as a means of punishing themselves for real or imagined crimes committed. Many self harmers also abuse drugs or alcohol, or suffer from an eating disorder.

Helpful Links.

Self-Help - Self Harm Support and Information - Home

Self-Harm: Recovery, Advice and Support -

AaronShadows 06-30-2009 08:02 PM

I feel a little sorry for the self-harmers :( Maybe if they had someone to talk to they wouldn\'t try to hurt themselves.

I\'d never try self harm, mainly because if someone was bullying or abusing me, my first way of dealing with it would be flat-out defiance. ^^;;

Silver_Wolf_Kitty 06-30-2009 09:53 PM

I had lots of very close friends when I first started experimenting with self harm. Its not like I had no friends and its similar with a lot of self harmers. Isolation does seem to play a part in it though. As I became less connected with other people due to an unhealthy relationship, I actually worsened. Part of it has to do with my reasons why I hurt myself. I was punishing myself for things I thought I was doing wrong, mainly in relationships. The fact that I felt abandoned by people I considered friends made me feel like I was failing even more at doing things right. It didn\'t even start because of bullying or abuse, it started because I have trouble expressing my feelings. I hate revealing my weaknesses, so instead of talking about my heartbreak over a boy, I chose to hurt myself. It slowly became something associated with my lack of worth, mostly because of the scumbags that followed that relationship.

This may not always apply though. Some people who harm themselves function completely fine and actually don\'t give off any signs. This is mostly because they feel they are handling their feelings on their own, which means it doesn\'t need to be discussed. Also, I think self harmers understand that if they reveal what they are doing, their friends will try to get them help. The fact is, we don\'t want help. We don\'t think there is a problem and, to a certain extent, I think self harm becomes an addiction.

Miranda_ 07-01-2009 04:20 PM

I\'d agree with that. Even after I\'d ended up in Casualty, both for cutting thru arteries in my arms and for overdosing on painkillers, I refused to believe that what I was doing was wrong. I felt that I\'d found a perfectly good way to express my pain, and that I didn\'t need any help. It was only after I reached a crisis point that I cracked and told my parents. It wasn\'t anything specific at all; one day I just thought, "I can\'t go on like this."

noirmali 07-14-2009 10:44 AM

I\'ve actually sort of done this before ;__;.
I had lots of friends. I wanted to do it because when I get really angry and bottle up my anger inside, or I felt really bad for doing something stupid. Sometimes I was just frustrated at myself. I needed a release, you know? That sorta ting.
And at that time I didn\'t really have a release. I think it was around 9 or 10, but after I joined TDP I started getting into art and I think that art has now become my release.
And that is very true. I was doing this, and I told my friends. They went to the counselors and I got very annoyed. I didn\'t need help, I wasn\'t cutting into arteries, only minimal amounts of blood came out. I never really even tried to overdose on meds, unless vitamins count, and I\'m sure that they don\'t.
If you count all the times I cut myself I bet that more blood came out from injuries that I hadn\'t inflicted on myself on purpose. For example, falling down. I fall down a lot because I\'m clumsy and most the time I end up scraping my knee on the cement and bleed a lot.
No one seems to care then, they\'re all like "Omg, be more careful when you walk," but when less blood than that comes out and you cut yourself, they get all scared and run off to counselors.

Rocketship_ 08-18-2009 08:08 PM

I used to. It started simply because I would get mad at myself, and instead of yelling into a pillow or something, I\'d do that. I was getting mad at myself for very little things, like breaking a plate when doing the dishes, and then for big stuff, like losing friendships. I even blamed myself for my friend\'s problems. Finally, I was to a certain point where I was so fed up with myself, that I was seconds away from going downstairs to overdose. Something in me broke, though, and I texted my friend at like three in the morning, and was like, "I won\'t make it through the night if I don\'t talk to someone." We IMed for two hours about it.

Even after that, I never stopped self-harming for about a year and a half. After that time I was like, "Hey, I don\'t need to do this. I\'m pretty, I\'m glad God created me, everyone scr\'ews up and I need to learn to forgive myself."

I still have urges, but never so serious as before, and now, I know how to deal with the stress and anger I put on myself. I can honestly say I love myself now.

Miranda_ 08-18-2009 08:39 PM

It took me a long time to get to the stage where I could accept myself. Even now, I still have days where I feel fat and ugly; it takes a lot to get thru days like that. I actually have to distract myself from self harming; last time I had an argument with my boyf, I\'d actually picked up a knife and had to struggle to put it down and not use it on my arms. I don\'t think the urge to harm myself will ever leave me.

MizzCrosby87 08-18-2009 08:45 PM

I have one experience with self harm, i didnt know how to control it. My dad sexually assaulted me and I was going through pain just thinking about it and talking about it. So i started pulling out my hair. This also came from being bullied. My life hurt and I had nobody to talk to, so i started going to a therapist. It didn\'t help, but eventually, i realized that i shouldnt be doing this anymore. I read an article in a magazine, and it said usually this stuff ends up into suicide and depression, so i stopped and i haven\'t been doing it at all anymore. So I hope that people that do stuff like this, definitely get help and try talking to someobdy (:

xMae_Babii_X 10-19-2009 08:38 PM

I always had a problem accept it the way i was & that everything in life happened & i couldn\'t control it, i try hard everyday to accept that it\'s the past, & things that happen currently i have no control over, i try to cover up my pain with a cut or two, but lately i\'ve been even thinking about suicide, i don\'t want to tell anyone, but i know i could use help.
I talk to my friend, _____. She helps me & i\'m so very thankful for her, she reasures me that everything will be okay, & not to pull a suicide note on anyone because people love me, & i couldn\'t be more happy with my true friends.

It\'s hard to accept life he way it is, but i guess we have to do it..
People would ask me if i cut, & i would say no, who would ever do such a thing? Because i find it that no one needs to know but myself. Or a few very close friends. It\'s hard for me to even tell my friends the truth, it\'s very hard to do.

Silver_Wolf_Kitty 10-19-2009 09:04 PM

Suicide is not and will never be the answer. If you have these thoughts, please contact a suicide helpline immediately. You need to speak to someone and they will help you in a way that we cannot. I understand you probably are not ready to get help, but you need to speak to someone. We aren\'t doctors, only recovering self harmers who understand the struggle and want to help others escape from this awful choice.

If you want to talk privately, please message me! I am available all night and will stay on with you as long as need be.

To clarify for most members, self harm is generally not a sign of wanting to commit suicide. Most harmers do not have a desire to die, simply a bad way of expressing themselves. There are cases though where it goes hand and hand, particularly with DEPRESSION. I am not a doctor, but thoughts of suicide is a part of several mood disorders and is a symptom of a Major Depressive Episode. You need to get help immediately if you are having these thoughts. It may be scary, but you need it.

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