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Default 07-31-2013, 06:54 PM

I didn't know if this is the proper place to post this but I felt like I needed to get this off my chest. I know feeling these types of things is part of being a teenage girl for the most part, but I felt like it would be beneficial for me to post.

Lately, meaning ever since I started on my weight loss "journey" almost a year ago, have been comparing myself to every other girl physically. I have lost about 30 lbs but I still have more to lose because when I started I was about 55 lbs overweight.

Recently I have been comparing my self facially to other girls too, not just body-wise. I just have never felt pretty enough compared to other girls. I rarely ever get male attention -- yeah I know not like the boys are so great at this age but it would be nice to be called beautiful or pretty sometime by the guys.

I think most of it stems from bad experiences I have had when I was younger. I have heard on many occasions that guys have called me "ugly, fat, etc" and said that they would "never date me". I remember in 6th grade at a football game there was a grassy area inside the stadium where I was hanging out with my friends and for some reason I started running and this guy yelled at me "Run fat b*tch run!". One of my "friends" from elementary school told my other friend that I was "ugly and fat and would never get married". I still remember the pain and humiliation that comes along with these moments.

I'm not saying that my confidence is completely gone -- with no more bangs, contacts, and 30 lbs gone, I feel a lot more confidence in my appearance. Some days I look in the mirror and like what I see. And then most days, I look at my stomach and my face and I get very upset. I know a little bit of it is patience -- I know, or atleast I hope because I have been doubting myself lately -- that I will lose the last 25 lbs (or maybe less depending on what my body looks like and what I feel comfortable with). I have gained a bit of obsession with lifting my shirt in the mirror and checking out my stomach even in public. I used to weigh myself everyday.

I know this sounds really cliché, but I want more than anything to be comfortable with my own skin.

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Default 07-31-2013, 08:10 PM

Silent_Wolf: You and your boyfriend did the right thing by addressing the problem head-on instead of pretending it wasn't anything bad, or just walking out on each other without discussing the issue. I know the situation isn't good, but I would say you have a special relationship if you can work out through the tough things like that.
(And I have always loved reading Hyperbole and a Half! Her blogs are awesome!)

CatLover642: It's down right stupid the way people have treated you. Women are beautiful no matter what size! However, there's nothing wrong if you feel the need to change yourself, for the better. I'll admit, in my pre-teen years I hated the way I looked. I had braces, acne, super long hair, and I just didn't feel attractive. After I got my braces removed, used some acne wash, and 20" cut off my hair, people started to treat me differently; and I loved it.
It's nice to have that attention of people thinking you look nice, but it only truly matters if they think you're beautiful on the inside. For example: If a woman is gorgeous on the outside, but inside she's mean and cruel, she really has no friends. She may think she does, but if she slips up once, they'll forget all about her. Someone with a kind heart always has a friend to help them in a time of need.

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Default 07-31-2013, 09:23 PM

Ah yes, image problems. I suffered with those for years, decades even... and I still have them today.

For example. I see myself as a plain jane. My fiance says that I'm beautiful. A girl I talked to in the pub said that she was jealous of how pretty I was. I said, "Me, pretty? I'm just plain." She just gaped, cuz she was seeing a different face to the one that I see when I look in the mirror. This girl was a stranger to me, so maybe she was telling the truth... it's just very difficult to believe it when I hear it, cuz I spent so many years thinking myself as fat and ugly. I've upgraded myself to "plain", but then I get people saying I'm wrong to say that, cuz I'm pretty.

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Default 08-01-2013, 02:34 PM

Delaney, I think all of us girls can relate to where you are coming from. Body image issues exist universally. I'd like to point you to this website, Healthy is the New Skinny, which focuses on loving your body, no matter the size, as long as you take care of yourself (which it sounds like you're doing; just be careful that you don't obsess over it too much. It's good that you stopped weighing yourself every day, but don't let focusing on your stomach consume your life). Katie Halchischick, who started the website, used to be a plus sized model who slimmed down a bit, but not enough to be a "regular" sized model; she is an advocate for girls all over who just want to be comfortable in their own skin.

And as for male attention...psh, boys are dumb and half the time can't even recognize what's right in front of them. I saw those pictures from your dance; you are absolutely beautiful!

Av/Sig set: Lovie
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Default 08-02-2013, 06:08 AM

I have struggled with personal appearance and self love and just being happy for as long as I can remember. I have been diagnosised with ADD and was diagnosised with Bipolar but I was able to be undiagnosised due to moving out of my moms. I think a lot of that had to do with my emotional state of mind at my moms.

When I growing up, I was always teased and picked on for being weird or outgoing or compassionate. I grew up with more four leg friends than two. I also got a long better with adults than kids my own age. I can remember being in art class and American Idol was going on with Carrie Underwood. Well I can remember one of the boys saying that "Carrie underwood is hot, but that carrie (pointing at me) is not." I can remember being called weird, a baby cause I cried a lot, and ugly. It wasn't until 6th grade that I finally grew a spine. But even through my middle school and high school years, I was still picked on, but I was able to dish it right back.

During my Jr. year, I met this amazing guy who eventually became by boyfriend (now ex) and he finally taught me that was beautiful and pretty and I could finally let a lot of hatred and pain go. Both from my personal life and from school life.

And for about 2years I was happy. I went off my ADD meds and I gained about 40lbs. My moms side of the family didn't like this. And anytime they can make me feel fat or ugly, they do it. I felt healthier tho and tried to explain that too them to no avail. Thenhe and I went our different ways and I found out that two weeks later he had a new girlfriend. It hurt because everything he ever said to me felt like a lie. And then on top of it I had my family telling me that I was fat and that I needed to go back on my ADD meds for a weight loss program. It was like adding salt to the wound.

I still have image issues. My mom always tells me to not be a pig and that I have to big of butt and ****s. If she had her way, I would have already had a breast reduction. I would be around 110lbs and I would never speak. I love my mom to death and would do anything in the world for her but when this happens, I don't want to be apart of her life.

I still have image issues. I want to lose body fat when I come home from vacation. I am going to start changing for me tho. I want to start walking and jogging, build up my stamina. There are times when I look in the mirror and I cry because I hate what I see but at other times I smile because I am happy. But I have a new motto: Carpe Diem. Seize the day! I am finally becoming happy with who I am and not seeing myself through my family's eyes. And that is what is important. To be happy with yourself for no other reason than because you are you.

And Cat, you are GORGEOUS! You have a stunning personality and body to match. Only change for you and no one else!

Being single doesn't make you weak, it means that you are strong enough to be on your own; Being alone could be a good thing, because there is no drama involved in your life, no pain, and free to do what ever you want. Life is too short to be chasing those who aren't even worth fighting for, you are worth more than that.
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Default 08-09-2013, 03:47 PM

Carrie, you're also gorgeous. ^_^

I've been to the therapy sessions I was told to go to (regarding in Bipolar or Borderline, seeing as the doctors are now unsure and want to have me rediagnosed) twice now. God, it sucks. >_< Next week group therapy (I have to go to that once a month). WoofreakingHoo.
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