To all those dealing with depression/bipolar/or just feel alone

[sarika2004]

Depression actually runs in my family. I haven't been diagnosed or anything, but my cousin, my aunt, and my mom all have it and are all on medication. I don't want to believe that I may have it as well, but the way I've been for the last year or so has been hard. I've been frequently go through periods of complete hatred of myself, that I'm just this complete idiot, and that everything I've done and said is just totally stupid. They're just these random incredibly low spots. I haven't mentioned any of this to my parents or friends so ..yeah its kinda hard posting a bit of this...

You shouldn't feel that way, and I know it's hard to talk about it - you're very brave. But you should really tell your mom, she would understand what you're going through and I'm sure that she would want to help you and not see you suffer. I hope you'll be able to share what you have just shared with us to your loved ones, even if it's hard to see they do still care.

My friend started cutting. I gat so mad, she had no reason at all what so ever to cut. Her life is just fine, and i didn't understand. One day we were laughing at spongebob the next... well, things just got different when we went to middle school. She still did all the fun things she used to do, still laughed, but got new interests. She wasn't depressed. Why cut?
I got so scared when she told me, so I told my parents. Her family is really close to mine, so my parents told hers. She still hates me (it happened a while after school started). She told our best friend i was immature. She said i don't understand. But their is nothing wrong. It was just like she went to middle school and met some new people. "Bam!" she's a stranger. Her parents don't even like me now.
I really want to help her. I get so scared I will lose her. Is their something I don't get? Am I really that immature? Because you guys know what it is like to go through the things she is, what would you want your friend to do to help?

It must have been a scary ordeal for you, but telling someone immediatly was not the best path. Even though she may seem like she's fine, inside it's a cry for help. Now, I'm not saying you're a bad friend because you seem like someone who would be great, but your friend needs someone she can confide in. Right now, she probably doesn't want to talk to you, but don't give up keep trying to talk to her and even though you did the right thing appologize for it. Say something along the lines of "I'm sorry I told someone about your cutting, but I was so concerned about you, please forgive me. And I also want to let you know that whatever you say now you can trust me not to repeat." It might take some time but I'm pretty sure that she will learn to trust you again. Also, if she starts to confide in you, make sure you don't tell anyone. The only exception is if she's thinking about going to hurt herself or others. You have to try to understand her, and although it's hard, just stay with her she needs your support.

Thanks for sharing.

I was diagnosed with depression when I was about 12/13 years old. I tried committing suicide 4 times since I was 10 that has landed me in the hospital each time. The root of my depression has been there since I was born. I was born to a mother who didnt care for me, never wanted me, and did nothing for me. I learned how to do everything by myself by the time I was 6 and was an "adult" since then. I was a heavy drug user and partyer since I was very young. I got pregnant at fourteen which did no help; I resented my daughter for months after she was born, blaming my problems on her. When my daughter was 5 months I started to get my life back on track. When I became pregnant with my son in 2004 I decided to do something about my life but it wasnt until I found out I was pregnant with my youngest daughter I did something. I started going to more therapy and got off my medication so that I could have a happy pregnancy and be able to breastfeed my daughter.

Being able to say something is the matter is a huge accomplishment; at least I know for me it was and im proud of each and everyone of you ladies who have been able to share your story with confidence.

I wish you all the best of luck and wish you a Merry Christmas!

Your story touched my heart, not to say the others didn't but you got help so you could better the life of your children. It seriously brings a tear to my eye. I'm sure that people who are reading this will find your story such an inspiration, it shows that even though we may think depression will never end that it can and things can and do get better.

Thank you and Happy Holidays to you as well.

[coleyfelix]

Thank you so much. I hope I can work things out with her. Happy almost Christmas or what ever you celebrate and I hope the coming year is better for all of us.

[noirmali]

I'm sorry that I didn't reply earlier..
I'll add you when I have the time; I have to move and there's a lot of work to do..
You're right, why should anybody fix something temporary with something permanent, it's silly..
Anyways, thanks again, and I'll add you soon.

[sarika2004]

Good luck moving, been there done that many times.

And coley, I hope you're right, don't give up and best wishes for the new year~

[jenniferswe]

I have Bipolar Disorder and it can be rough. I have had a few nervious breakdowns and been in the hospital. Right now, I'm better. I'm on the correct medication and in couseling.

[Singergirl0911]

I may go to a shrink, but she does nothing for me. I've definitaly hit my biggest low these past 3 months. These past two days, I've actually taken a knife above my wrist. All I do is press down. Thank the Goddess I have cats and I just say there cat scratches. I feel pure hatred for so many people right now and could never tell anyone this. Not even my sister, whom I've very close to. I hate being so low and I believe I should go onto anti-depressites. I've told my sister, but she said it could just be teenage chemicals running through me. I don't think it is. I could never tell any one, ever and hope that people don't start asking. People say that my heart is made of steel. To me, its made of steel because of all the f*cking sh*t I have been going through these past 2 years along with my whole life. We were never a happy family, and now that I think about it, never could have been. "I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut, my weakness is that I care much, I tear myself open just to feel.." I love this song phrase from Papa Roach's Scarred...its so....me

Yesterday, I went to work and I started to cry. I hate life. I hate my parents. I hate this f*cking divorce. I hate everything in my life. My parents don't know me, my life, only what I show them. Its quite sad, really. But...I love seeing the blood come off my arm. No body even asks but one of my good friends.

My stress level varies from day to day. My family and I have recently been through a two year divorce. I do stress out over little things, I know I do and I try to calm myself. I try to actually breathe more and talk to my friends as often as possible. This site helps a lot to because its like another world. A third home...

[princessmeplz]

REMINDER!: Don't get to stressful my aunt had that happen know she has a tumor.Unless you want that to happen to you I suggest you keep your cool.

[xJESSiCA]

Sometimes you can't help it. There are disorders where you get stressed out easily, and you can't help it. Try your best, though, and what does a tumor have to do with that? Usually you can minimize your stress, but when you get stressed, generally you can't eliminate it totally, disorder or not.

[TheHayleyDoll]

I'm bipolar. Mental illnesses run in my family. My mom was depressed and is only starting to get over it. I hope you all know what bipolar is, because I don't feel like explaining it. Since I have it, my explanation would be long and filled with stuff that only matters to those who have it.

I will mention though, that it basically means that you are constantly mood swinging from incredibly hyper, to real depressed. Sometimes this change happens for no reason.

That's why one reason I'll be like this: XD (hyper, laughing, uber happy smile which usually goes with something funny) and the next: T.T (sad, depressive smiley.)

It's kinda a mix of mild insanity and depression.

Sometimes, like now, I feel stupid, ugly and pathetic. Other times, actually like just a couple hours ago, I brag about how smart, talented and pretty I am.

I don't usually have the state of 'mania' but 'hypomania'. From wikipedia (Bipolar disorder): - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Hypomania is generally a less extreme state than mania, and people in the hypomanic phase generally experience fewer symptoms of mania than those in a full-blown manic episode. During an episode, one might feel an uncontrollable impulse to laugh at things he or she does not normally find funny. The duration is usually also shorter than in mania. This is often a very "artistic" state of the disorder, where there is a flight of ideas, extremely clever thinking, and an increase in energy.

Here's mine. Bipolar II

Bipolar II

Bipolar II disorder is characterized by hypomanic episodes as well as at least one major depressive episode. Hypomanic episodes do not go to the extremes of mania (i.e. do not cause social or occupational impairment, and without psychosis), and this can make Bipolar II more difficult to diagnose, since the hypomanic episodes may simply appear as a period of successful high productivity and is reported less frequently than a distressing depression. For both disorders, there are a number of specifiers that indicate the presentation and course of the disorder, including "chronic", "rapid cycling", "catatonic" and "melancholic".

[sarika2004]

I'm bipolar type I...it took me forever to get diagnosed! But once I was, and put on the right meds - I'm loving life once again. Stable is something I haven't been able to say for years, but I can say it now!

Good explaination of BPII...I evidently had BPII but because it was untreated it developed into BPI.