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Default 08-25-2013, 10:12 PM

OMG!!! I hate it when my dad comes home. All he ever does now is b*tch and I am tired of it. Don't get me wrong, I am not always the cleanest person but d@mn, its like he is a f*cking cleaning nazi. I actually look forward to my dad being out of the house because then I can do what I want. Goddess I can't wait to move out. I am in my room right now, trying to figure out how to rearrange it so I can put a desk in my room. That way I don't have to worry about messing up the fricking kitchen with my homework. ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!


Being single doesn't make you weak, it means that you are strong enough to be on your own; Being alone could be a good thing, because there is no drama involved in your life, no pain, and free to do what ever you want. Life is too short to be chasing those who aren't even worth fighting for, you are worth more than that.
<3
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Default 08-25-2013, 10:15 PM

My dad's also a cleaning nazi. I feel your pain.

UGH. On my period. IT SUCKS. I have to go to my therapy session tomorrow, and the second day of my period I have the WORST cramps. I'm going to be so cranky. >_<
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Default 08-25-2013, 10:52 PM

Hayley,I feel YOUR pain. In the most literal sense. I've had trouble standing up and walking all day. Man, f*ck cramps.

I also get where SingerLady's coming from: the next week will be clean clean clean pack pack pack. Cause if I don't clean it myself, Dad will just throw everything away. He threw out perfectly usable make up last week when he purged my bathroom without telling me



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Default 08-26-2013, 01:21 AM

Awwww! Thankfully my dad has learned not to touch my room. He is just like fine your room is your room you don't want it clean thats fine by me. i can just close the door. xD

But I do need to clean my room tomorrow. -.-

And I am soo sorry Hayley. =(


Being single doesn't make you weak, it means that you are strong enough to be on your own; Being alone could be a good thing, because there is no drama involved in your life, no pain, and free to do what ever you want. Life is too short to be chasing those who aren't even worth fighting for, you are worth more than that.
<3
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Default 08-26-2013, 02:54 PM

Had my therapy session. I told my therapist about my recent manic feelings, and after listening to me she disagrees with my doctor taking me off my meds and sending me to therapy for BPD (mind you, I haven't even stopped taking my lithium completely - have to wean off it - and I already started feeling manic). She agrees with my previous diagnosis of Bipolar II, but that it's the Rapid Cycling variety. She's going to talk with my doctor about prescribing me Depakote (mood-stabilizer) since it's more effective for people with Rapid Cycling (lithium takes much longer to kick in). She believes that given the history of depression in my family, Bipolar II is a much more accurate diagnosis.

I'M NOT A F*CKING GUINEA PIG, JUST MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. Grrr.

In summary, my doctor sucks with diagnosing mental disorders. I'm going to have to find a doctor who has more experience dealing and understanding mental disorders.
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Default 08-26-2013, 02:59 PM

Depakote's good; my aunt was put on it after her old prescription failed to work, and she's been vastly improved. ^^ Obviously your mileage may vary, but I do hope it works as well for you as it did for her.



I stare at the girl in the mirror: T-shirt, torn up jeans, no beauty queen.
But the way that you see me, you get underneath me, and all my defenses just fall away, fall away.
I am beautiful with you, even in the darkest part of me. I am beautiful with you;
Make it feel the way it's supposed to be!

You're here with me: Just show me this and I'll believe I am beautiful with you!
Halestorm
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Default 08-27-2013, 03:32 PM

I am going to f*cking shoot this d@mn program. For math it is now all on line. No more math out of a book. Its all on this f*cking program that is f*cking stupid and pickier than sh*t. Its asking me for a simplified fraction and you can't get any simplier than -7/8!!!!!!! *starts beating head on table*


Being single doesn't make you weak, it means that you are strong enough to be on your own; Being alone could be a good thing, because there is no drama involved in your life, no pain, and free to do what ever you want. Life is too short to be chasing those who aren't even worth fighting for, you are worth more than that.
<3
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Default 09-01-2013, 02:51 PM

My mother doesn't seem to realize that right now is a very crucial to defining the rest of her life. If any of you read this and think I'm going to hard on her, I really don't care.

As I've said before, she's sick and staying at my nana's for the summer. Well, she called my dad the other day and said that she doesn't think she'll be coming home because she thinks we don't care about her. She's feeling well enough to come home, but she wants to stay there.

Now, see, years ago we got a dog. Correction, my NANA bought a dog for MY MOM. My dad never wanted the dog and actually made them take him back to where they got him. Less than a week later, she went back and picked him back up again, bringing the dog home via taxi. My dad was P*SSED. He did NOT want a dog. Once Rocco grew into an adult dog, she said she couldn't walk him because he was "too strong" and she couldn't control him. Rocco has since grown very attached to my dad, since he's been his primary "caregiver".

However, with school starting, on Wednesdays and Thursdays Rocco will have to be alone for 6 to 8 hours - before my mom left, she was home with him all day (since she's unemployed). My dad doesn't think this is fair to Rocco, and wants my mother to take him - Rocco is HER dog, after all. My nana lives in a house with a decent sized backyard, so it's not as though he'd be trapped inside an apartment. If she doesn't agree to take him in, then my dad thinks we might have to give him away (I could possibly talk him out of this, since I'm quite persuasive).

I love my dog. I would be devastated if my mother's lack of responsibility caused Rocco to need to be given away. Not only that, but:

If she decides she doesn't want to come home, that would be the final straw. In my opinion, it would mean that she doesn't want to try and fix her relationship with her children or her husband. It would mean that she doesn't want to be a mother or a wife. Her relationship with my dad has been mostly platonic (he cares about her, but they haven't been much of a 'couple' for many years). Her relationship with my younger brother is hanging by a thread (he didn't see her when she was sick in the hospital, he hasn't had a conversation with her over the phone the whole time she's bee gone, and he said flat out that he 'just doesn't care anymore'). Her relationship with me... well, that's severely fractured as well (although I do try and be as supportive and caring as I can, I understand my brother's sentiments). If she stays, it is obvious that she does not plan on being a mother to my brother or myself, and I will keep future communications to a minimum.

I understand she's mentally unwell. I know what that's like. But if she stays and doesn't take Rocco, I will lose any shred of respect I had for that woman and I will never forgive her. On the other hand, if she comes home and tries hard to get healthy and be involved with my life again, I will be incredibly proud of her. Middle ground, she stays there and takes Rocco, while continuing to call to say hello a couple times a week. My feelings for her won't improve if that happens, but at least I won't resent her. >_>
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Default 09-01-2013, 10:37 PM

Being such a high-strung intense person really sucks.

I am freaking out academically because I got an 80 on a quiz in my AP class and now I only have a 90 in the class. I am sooo worried about my GPA and class rank and I am scared that high school is not going to be good for my grade-wise. I was number 2 in my class at middle school but I am sooo scared that I am not going to be able to compete in high school. Like I can already tell I am going to struggle in geometry and I am so nervous for the quiz I have on Tuesday and I worry about it so much and I know I am rambling I just have to get all my emotions out...

Just got to remember Northwestern is my goal..

kjkjkjkjafafasdf


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Default 09-01-2013, 11:03 PM

Hayley: I think you are right on target. You aren't being unjust but looking at the situation and realizing that something is wrong. I hope that everything works out and that your mom does still want to be apart of the family.

Cat: BREATHE! You are going to be fine. Just take a couple breaths and relax. Its only the beginning of the year. You are incredibly intelligent and you're going to be fine. As for the quiz, see if your teacher can help you with concepts that you are not understanding or see if you can get a tutor. As for your AP class, you have a 90 now but I bet by the end of the semester you are going to be closer to 100.


Being single doesn't make you weak, it means that you are strong enough to be on your own; Being alone could be a good thing, because there is no drama involved in your life, no pain, and free to do what ever you want. Life is too short to be chasing those who aren't even worth fighting for, you are worth more than that.
<3
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