The Vine - July 2013
(Contributed by LadyBast0911)
Hey everyone! It's July! Which means we are half way through the summer :sad:. And yeah I know the last edition was April but hey us here at the Vine deserve a summer break don't cha think :lol:! So hope you are having a great summer so far and hope it continues to be an amazing summer!
Dolls of the Month.
This award goes to Silent_Wolf for her dolls Kikki and Capri. Go see and comment on her thread here.
This award goes to LancasterPrincess for her Naga doll. Go see and comment on her thread here.
Eros Dragon girl linked here.
Happy Birthday to: iRONIC, Sarah K_O_M, bell_6, xJESSiCA, tosha_tiger_angel and nikkolai!
Here are three facts about you. One, people love you. Two, you're a good example of why some animals eat their young. And three, you're so gullible you actually believed the lie in fact one! Any part of your personality that is wilful or possessive could be exposed this week, for there are opposing forces determined to bring out the best or worst in you. So drink less or you'll regret it. You have a great talent that no-one else has: you are so annoying that the mere look of you makes people want to stab you in the eye with a scalpel. So my advice to you this month is to avoid hospitals and clinics, and to wear a bag over your head if you must visit one... which will be likely after something bad happens to you next week.
Some people from your past will be thinking deeply about you this week…when they burn an effigy in your likeness. You have made some very powerful enemies in your past; I would think about hiring police protection or at least making a sacrifice to the gods if I were you. Your face is grey from eating too much junk food. You know that funny square item in your kitchen that makes things hot? That's called a cooker and it would make sense to use it once in a while instead of just getting a McDonalds every week. You've been there so often that you're on first name terms with the staff and they always send you a card on your birthday. Then again, they are the closest thing to having friends; due to your unlikeable personality, most people avoid you like a dead fish on a hot plate.
You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal, but on the other hand make the same mistakes again and again. Basically, everyone thinks you’re a twit. They won't say so to your face, but guess what, everyone discusses you behind your back constantly. That solves the mystery of why your friends always stop speaking to each other when you come up! You will find a half penny coin on the floor of your room. The joy of discovering this outdated piece of legal tender will be immeasurable. Remember this feeling when you go to try use it in an arcade or parking meter, messing up the machine for the rest of us, and don’t. Don’t be that person. Do you want to be even more hated than you are already?
You are bull headed and thick skulled. Stones just bounce right off your head, and there have been many people throwing stones, lately. You know what I'm talking about, don't try and act all innocent around me. That saying, "A fool never learns" could have been made for you. You will never be respected cuz you just keep on performing the same random acts of idiocy over and over again. Your attitude this week needs to be one of understanding rather than anger or rejection. So, say, if someone takes the last beer from the fridge, seek to understand their reasoning rather than instantly condemning them. Or if the same person steals your food. Or uses your car without your permission. Just… trust me on this.
Go listen to Dark Side of the Moon. Don’t ask me why. The week will just be infinitely better if you do. You probably won't listen to this good advice, so look out on Wednesday this week when you will be forced to admit I was right all along. Ha! I'm looking forward to that, even if you're not. You are quick tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. This is the cause of your downfall this Wednesday. In other news, you are very demanding of those around you, which means you are an idiot. Shut the hell up or someone is going to kill you. Upon engaging people in public you will experience light tension due to realizing that we’ll all either die suddenly or after a long period of debilitation. Your bed sheets are the wrong colour.
Now that it's finally summer, you can quit wearing all black clothes and dig out your summer clothes in pastel colours. Do it. No-one wants to be driven to depression by looking at your black clothes and unsmiling face. You have a responsibility to the world at large to cheer the hell up. And stop listening to REM, for god's sake. At the time of the full moon, when your true personality comes to the fore, you will experience many new things. Don't try to resist it; just relax and enjoy it. You may find that you actually like howling at the moon and chasing down prey in the moonlight. For once, quit trying to plan everything and just go with the flow! It'll be worth it, I promise. Close friends and relatives will shower you with gifts and chocolate. Apparently someone started a rumour about you winning the lottery and it is best to just go with it.
You’ve been feeling an increasing need to smack a loved one upside the head. When you do attempt to fulfill this desire, make sure you have an alibi and some fool ready to take the fall for you. If you are alive, you might or not might enjoy a birthday this month. Your friends will be incredibly generous this year. They will arrange a big birthday bash in your honour but will forget to invite you. Try to forgive them their trespasses. After all, you have been stealing all of their birthday gifts throughout your entire life! Your neighbour is beginning to realize that you have been spying on him. It’s best to remove all the surveillance equipment perched over the wall. Deny that you ever had a neighbour if the police come to question you.
Beware of friendly looking dogs this month. Our sources tell us they’ve been conspiring against you. Also avoid pink pillows that wink in the dark and chairs that appear to mock you as you walk by. You’ve been letting your anger get the better of you lately. You must learn to forgive your enemies. Nothing will annoy them more. You’ll have one of those days where you wake up on the wrong side of the bed because, long story short, someone pushed you. You know who it is, so give them a good kick to stop them doing it again. It's the only way that they'll ever learn. The truth always hurts, which is why you knock out a guy for calling your dress “ugly”. Don't feel too guilty; he had it coming.
Beware of those who come to you for help this month; they may be trying to use you. For what? That’s hard to say. You certainly don't have the brains to give out anything worth having. Perhaps they have just come to steal your shoes. Chances are that you'll do nothing of any merit this week. A co-worker will smile at you. It may mean something, or they may just be trying to be friendly. You never can be too sure with smiles, so beware... it could be a bad sign. The one that you bump into cuz you're too busy checking your Facebook on your phone is certainly a bad sign. You will have a black eye due to your carelessness all month so try and find a good concealer to cover it up so people aren't constantly asking you who punched you.
Your sense of humor will get you into trouble once again this month. The only way to avoid being lynched is to gag yourself effectively and to count sheep until the urge to speak passes. Here's a fun fact; nearly all Scorpios are either murdered or become murderers. Which are you, I wonder? When you wake up on Tuesday morning, you will discover that your bath is filled with tomato sauce, that your ability to not bump into the walls is gone, and that dinner is burning. Have you kept up to date with the animal sacrifices? I thought not. Perhaps you ought to do one now, just in case. That is one angry god that you have to appease this month, so I would get on that right now if I were you.
Saying that you look like the back end of a bus is an insult to all buses everywhere. You may grow concerned about your weight this month. This is due to a number of factors, not least of which is your weight-based star sign. Many who are unfortunate enough to be born under the sign of Sagittarius are morbidly obese. However, you can change your destiny if you work hard! You are sympathetic and understanding toward other people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You were abducted by aliens three days ago. They took out your brain, examined it, and decided that you were not intelligent enough for further experimentation. You think that your dreams actually mean something profound. Guess what, they don't.
Your friends are planning an intervention. Your love for world domination is really beginning to weird everyone out. You really must learn to take time off from your day job to relax a bit. There is no shame in admitting that you need help and usually others are only too happy to offer their services. Helping others makes them feel better anyhow, so consider yourself as doing them a favour by taking up their offer. Your paranoia can get often the better of you. That guy who keeps knocking on your door every morning is just the postman trying to deliver a parcel. And those voices in your head are only trying to reassure you that you’re not actually crazy. You’re finally ready to forgive yourself for the most embarrassing moment of your lifetime and move on with your life. However the fact that it’s still getting 50,000 hits a day on YouTube is still a bit of a pain.
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