The Vine - March 2013

[Miranda_]

What's New.
Well into March now, cuz this is the earliest I could hope to get the newsletter out this month due to being overburdened with overtime. XD There may be an Easter event at the end of March; however, that depends on two things. One, if anyone is willing to help me organise it and two, if people post in this topic that they're actually going to participate. Let me know. Also, if anyone wishes to participate in the Doll Palace Collab and make a handdrawn doll of themselves to go in a banner, go to the Handdrawn forum and sign up! The theme this month is "Lucky Leprechauns."

Dolls Of The Month.

Best Handdrawn.
Best doll this month is Ness' sweet doll. Go comment on her thread here.

Best Dollmaker.
Definitely has to be Bridie's garden of Eden doll. Go comment on her thread here.

Birthdays.



Happy Birthday to meroneyu, TinkerBell1995, princess_tiara_twinkle, lross, Dollmaker1103, iluvdolphin6, Rain538 and RAiiNBOWxKiiSSES!

[Miranda_]

Horrorscopes

Aquarius
The new moon in your sign on Thursday combined with Mars speaks of a new kind of energy, drive and initiative which means you've no chance of getting out of doing the ironing. You are inclined to be careless and impractical, which causes you to make the same mistake over and over again. It's time you faced up to a tricky situation, to which you have been deluding yourself for a long time. Watch out! Something quite amusing will take place around you this month! So amusing that you may fall off your chair! If you’re an egg, you’ll crack to the bone. If you’re a bunny… you’ll still crack to the bone. A big fluffy carpet under your chair may save your butt! Just make sure you don't leave chocolate there; it's a killer to get out of carpets.

Pisces
You will finally finish off the last of the candy in your Easter Basket, and you will continue to feel resentful that you did not receive any Cadbury Creme Eggs this year. Bury your resentment; you were sent some but they were accidentally delivered to a Cancer who ate them and did not point out the mistake to the courier. You might say you have a clear conscience, but really, you just have a bad memory. Your karma bank is dangerously low on funds, so you might want to do some voluntary work to make up the deficit before something really terrible happens to you at the end of the month. I'm not telling you what it is, but it's connected to empty cider bottles and peanuts. I'm sure you can make the connection.

Aries
Contrary to the archetypal standard, not every white rabbit should be followed because sometimes you just get left standing in a barren field surrounded by horse manure. Or some such analogy. Just as well, really; the last time you tried getting down a rabbit hole, you ended up having to call the fire brigade and then having to endure the constant snickering from people who you thought were your friends. You will spit on everyone you speak to this week. Don’t be surprised if someone punches you in the nose while screaming the words, “Say it; don’t spray it!” Actions speak louder than words, and it's better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Taurus
Someone in your immediate family will fall off of a cliff and leave you a large inheritance. Unfortunately, rather than large monetary gains, you will receive a large pitbull that likes to nuzzle next to a pile of bones that he collected from the “Missing” neighbourhood children. You might want to clam up and claim ignorance if any of the parents contact you in the following month. You will be causing yet more distress to children when, while driving home late at night, you run over the Easter Bunny. Suspicion will pass you by for the murder, but only if you resist the temptation to display the chocolate eggs you rifled his corpse for prominently about the house. Save them for after Easter; if anyone asks then why you have them, say you have a miserable life and that will seem like a perfect excuse.

Gemini
Bet you wish you'd learned how to cook after all; the ready meals you've been buying for the past two years do not contain prime beef at all. Instead, they contained a mixture of horse, hedgehog and bear meat. Serves you right for being too lazy to learn. But at least the bear meat will make you a bit braver. If you decide to go on any outing today, it might be wise to hide some money in your socks, so you have enough money for bus fare when your car, wallet, and trousers are stolen from you. Do not be tempted to take photos and post them on Facebook, lest you become the face of this month's newest meme and your shame is replicated several thousand times over on various websites.

Cancer
There is no shame in admitting that you need help and usually others are only too happy to offer their services. Helping others makes them feel better anyhow, so consider yourself as doing them a favour by taking up their offer. Especially if said help is offers of money that you don't have to pay back. Your diet this month will take a bashing, as it's a very rare Cancer who's able to resist free chocolate eggs; you will receive several as gifts at the end of the month. Remember that people get upset and hurt if their kind gifts are refused, so be a nice person and accept and eat those Easter Eggs. Believe me when I say that Easter chocolate does not count towards your diet, and try to be happy, or at least stop moaning about the weather.

[Miranda_]

Leo
This month we may finally see you go from shabby to chic! This will be a positive step forward, as you will make a substantial improvement to the landscape. If only every month was March! In the midst of this busy social time, the Stars wanted to remind you that slow and steady wins the race and d'oped up and in denial gets you the Lance Armstrong treatment. Don't act all innocent and pretend that you don't know what I'm talking about; you know d'amn well and should take this advice to heart before something happens to you. Someone will be brutally honest with you today. Instead of giving in to your urge to punch them in the mouth, listen to what they’re saying. Who knows, maybe you can correct an annoying habit so everyone doesn’t hate you quite so much.

Virgo
It is not always good to be social. Many of your relationships may get scrambled this month. Why not avoid human contact all together? Then there will be no-one around to judge you as you eat your way thru seven Easter Eggs at the end of the month. Adopting a homeless animal should be postponed until spousal debate over nature vs. nurture is resolved satisfactorily. Until then, frolic in the park with random dogs until they are whisked away by suspicious strangers. A word of advice; hiding chocolate eggs around the house is a bad idea cuz you'll never be able to just leave them there for the children to find. You'll just eat them all yourself, and then have to deal with the tears and tantrums of the dispossessed children.

Libra
It will probably come as a surprise to you, oh empty headed Libra, but you are living beyond your means with those endless trips to the mall. Here's a clue; when the shop assistants know you by name, it's time to cut back on the shopping trips a little. You will have a positive day today… as long as you stay inside, avoid your family, turn off your phone, don’t watch TV, leave the computer off, refuse to read newspapers, avoid all foods that are processed and/or make you gassy, avoid the corners of your coffee table and just stay in bed all day. Otherwise, your day will be crap as usual. One more piece of advice... for the love of cheese, look at what you’re wearing! No wonder no one respects you!

Scorpio
Everything about you screams who and what you are. You will get bored and sound sarcastic and behave in that superior way and simply assume you are in command. Fortunately for you, at this moment you are not in sole control of your soul. Do you remember that night when you got completely plastered and ended up selling your soul to that strange redheaded girl dressed in black? Of course you don't, but believe me when I say that she is taking good care of your soul and will continue to do so. A lot better than you yourself could, actually. So quit worrying, relax and enjoy yourself this month. Just don't get out the sandals yet, as it's not summer yet and wearing them will make you look like an idiot.

Sagittarius
Everyone knows that your complaints that “life is holding you back” are just excuses because you’re too stupid and lazy to actually do anything better. Change your attitude (and your underwear) and things will get better. The truth always hurts. You will prove this saying without a doubt this month when you punch out a man who said that your dress was ugly and made you look fat. There is an evil plan for you; it is in your design; it is in your horrorscope. It’s just hard to pinpoint what it is and whether it will actually take place this month. Oh well, we’ll just have to wait and see…

Capricorn
You'll have to make some unexpected decisions with a change of scenery in the next weeks. So when you wake up from your big all weekend party and find you've been made queen of a small rainforest tribe, remember your humility before agreeing to sacrifice your b'itchy friend to the gods. (Though it would be rad to spook her a little bit before you set her free.) After a really bad day at school or work near the end of this month, you will go home and consume an entire tub of Ben & Jerry's icecream and never speak of it to anyone you know. This will be your turning point and things will improve after that. Try to widen your social circle this week. All your current friends are losers that just use you for free rides to the mall.

[LancasterPrincess]

Probably for the best. I will probably be downing 7 eggs, lol.

[Miranda_]

Only seven?

To my mind, the best time to get Easter Eggs is after Easter when they go on sale for half price. XD

[LancasterPrincess]

They go on sale afterwards?! I'm gonna have to hit that up, I LOVE EGGS!!!

[eros]

Congrats to Ness and Bridie on their lovely dolls!

[Aussiemum777]

Thanks guys
I had to lol at my Capricorn horrorscope this month...loser friends and free rides to the mall hehe.

[belladoggy]

Aw, yay! Thanks, and congrats Ness!

I agree, the Cappy horoscope is always surprisingly spot on for being randomly generated xD Although it's currently a tub of Breyer's ice cream sitting in my freezer because Ben and JErry's is too darn expensive, haha.

By the way, the birthday doll is really cute this month, too!