The Vine - February 2013

[Miranda_]

What's New.
Not a lot, to be honest! Tho that's February for you; boring, horrible weather and dreary. Tho at least the end is in sight... it's a very short month after all and there's Valentine's Day to look forward to.

Dolls Of The Month.

Best Handdrawn.
Elanorea's portrait doll is fantastic. She claims it's not her best work, but the hair is just amazing. Check it out and comment here.

Best Dollmaker.
Has to be Alsie's beautiful White Wolf doll. Almost makes me shiver just looking at it! Check it out and comment here.

Birthdays.

Happy Birthday to SkeleViolence, marshall2, oceanbreeze656, sentimental7, Paka, Fallen_Angel41, alleypie99811 and erivitale!

[Miranda_]

Horrorscopes

Aquarius
There are no quick fixes, just momentary. As long as you set realistic goals and actually do something positive in relation to them, you will start climbing out of the rut that you no longer like to wallow in. Don’t let this Valentine's Day timeline set you back to the shade drawn Doritos buffet days that you are attempting to recover from. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride and remember: Valentine's chocolate is half price on the fifteenth so it won't matter that no-one gave you any on the day. Feel free to go crazy and buy all you like in the week after.

Pisces
Chocolates and roses may provide a positive direction, but only temporarily! The hole in your heart can only be filled with resolve. You are stretching the limits of your friends’ patience. What was once cute is now becoming more irritating and you are not seeing it, although you are getting better at it. You will be better off by liquidating this clique of friends and find - or buy - some 'real' friends. It might even be better to change your clique of friends every few months or so. After all, you don't want to provoke any of them into getting irritated enough to stab you.

Aries
Romance is not dead - you just slightly injured it when you bought that stupid underwear. Love is in the air, but you might feel like there is some distance between you and your mate. If you want to appear desirable, stop leaving the door open while you're on the loo. Some mystery is vital when you've spent so much time in the company of another person that you know them inside out and they know you likewise. Felt like a doormat recently? You're always coming to your messed up friend's rescue. This month, stand aside and let her learn from her mistakes. Unless she really can't get herself out of it... like that time she called you from inside the boot of someone's car. Then it's cool to help.

Taurus
‘Tis the season for love. Who loves you, baby? The responsibility that you have been owning up to is doing wonders for your self-esteem. It is a good beginning and one that you can develop. Express the possessiveness of your efforts to your probation officer and see if they give a d@mn! You might meet someone at the probation office. Well, at least if you do you will know for sure that you have at least one thing in common with your new love. Just try to end it amicably, if that time comes. Setting fire to someone's house is just so eighties, dah-ling.

Gemini
If you are looking for little gifts for your loved ones, try to avoid buying a ton of crappy, over-priced, heart-shaped stuffed animals that make obnoxious kissing noises. No one wants them, and those things are just stuffed with dust mites, cat hair, and wood chips anyhow. Try to widen your choice of shops for Valentine's gifts; basically, give the pound shop a wide berth this year, you cheapskate. In order to conquer an age-old fear this month, you will finally confront the old skeletons in your closet. Though why you were cool with human remains in your house for this long is super hard to explain, and the guys from CSI are probably going to take you in for questioning, it's worth it to get that dank "old bone" smell out of your sweaters.

Cancer
Happy Valentine's Day! Enjoy your chocolates and not to worry: if you’re single and sad about it for some reason, take heart that someone near you has a partner who is going to ruin the holiday for them. For those of you who have partners bound to ruin the day, just remember that no matter how much it gets ruined for you, some whiny single person envies you, anyway. Crabs are very romantic when the mood gets them; otherwise, they are crabby. No matter how tempting it is to send a letter bomb thru the post to that person who rejected you several years back, try to suppress the urge. Just buy a voodoo doll of them instead and stick pins all over.

[Miranda_]

Leo
Events are taking a turn and it seems that this month you will be possessed. You will not become the green-faced monster from The Exorcist, let’s not be that dramatic, but you will feel a few stomach turning changes within yourself. Should we be worried? Nah... If someone as damaged as you will be able to crawl out of bed every morning, the rest of the world will be just fine. There is a door. Be a lamb and open it. Now walk through the door into the room... where rabid penguins will eat your liver. To avoid this masterful terror you need to grow a mind of your own. You don’t always have to do things people tell you to.

Virgo
You will fall for the marketing ploy of buying the cookies, pizzas and other junk that’s cut into heart-shapes pieces for the holiday, which will lead you to spend more money on less volume of food. Instead of buying a card for your other half, and becoming yet another victim of the consumer culture, why not consider making a card instead? Your other half will appreciate it a lot more than you simply borrowing his credit card and using his own money to buy his Valentine's gift, which is what you usually do this month. When you think about it, a baby hurling sharp arrows at you with a crossbow is more scary than romantic. Happy(?) Valentine’s Day…

Libra
Quit posting up blogs filled with melodramatic online surveys about how “you're going to spend Valentine's Day sad and alone because nobody loves you”. Although that might be true, fishing for compliments isn’t going to boost your self esteem, and in fact, it’s annoying to death the few friends that you have left. No-one loves a whinger. If you want something, you have to really think hard, believe in it and it will happen. On the flip side, you could work harder than you’ve ever worked to achieve that goal – think of it as continuing to work when others are sleeping. Which path will you pick? Will you rely on will power or use your imagination?

Scorpio
Stealing flowers for your other half from cemeteries is not an acceptable form of "Recycling", you git. You also risk the wrath of the zombies coming down on your deserving head if you continue to do this and it will serve you right. Going on a few dates this month? Avoid restaurants and cemeteries, especially if those are blind dates. When we think of you this month, an Aswang comes to mind - a cannibalistic eater of the dead and of the living. Apparently they can transform themselves into either a black dog or a black boar, so don’t entertain unfamiliar stray dogs, and of course, boars. Once an Aswang sets their eyes on you, nothing will save you, you can forget garlic and holy water.

Sagittarius
More people would send you Valentine's Day cards if you weren't so fat. You'd probably slim down a bit if you actually chewed your food at least twenty times per bite, rather than just unhinging your jaw and devouring entire gazelles like you normally do. February is a month of love and realisation for you, and it has little to do with the whole Valentine’s thing. Realisation is usually a positive thing, so this is a good month for you. You will realise that you found yourself stuck in a tunnel of love and your partner is the one digging it. While at the moment you may think there’s nothing wrong in that, you must also remember; tunnels collapse, get blocked, people get stuck. Are you comfortable in this tunnel?

Capricorn
You will receive a delicious box of chocolates from a secret admirer, and you will almost die when you take the first decadent bite. In addition, the sender of the package will also die by the hands of his wife because he sent her present to the wrong address. Still, no point in crying over spilled milk or misdirected chocolates for that matter, so ignore those pangs of conscience and eat them all. If you tell the truth about how you’re feeling, it becomes funny. But nowadays you can also get killed for it. Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing, especially for your star sign this month. Zip it, lock it, through away the key. Stay away from the jungles of your subconscious.

[Elanorea]

Letter bombs? Now there's an idea >:D.

Thanks for Doll of the Month :).

[belladoggy]

Unfortunately, I can't heed that last bit of advice since we are discussing Freud and Jung and Adler (who are ALL about the subconscious) in my theories of personality psych class xD

[erivitale]

Hehe woo my birthday month! And congrats dolls of the month! Alsie that white wolf doll is SICK

[eros]

Congrats to Alsie and Elanorea for Dolls of the Month!

[MsShino]

Thanks for Doll of the Month! And congrats to Elanorea!

My horoscope is hilarious!

Setting fire to someone's house is just so eighties, dah-ling.

I know, right! ^_^