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TheHayleyDoll 11-18-2009 09:40 PM

Physical Discipline?
If you were to have a child, how would you discipline them? A lot of kids nowadays aren't getting physically disciplined (for example: spanked) by their parents after they commit a wrong. Instead, they are given "timeouts" (forced to sit in the corner) or have something taken away (eg. game console).

For some kids, this works perfectly well. I wasn't ever spanked, or even put in the corner, because I was a generally good little child. My brother, on the other hand, OH BOY... He wasn't (and still isn't) disciplined properly. I think that, maybe if he had been spanked, he would be a little more calm and wouldn't do some of the things he does (talks back, throws temper tantrums, breaks things, etc).

Don't get me wrong, I don't stand for ABUSING children (that's terrible!), but some kids need to be disciplined differently then others. We're all different people, and some respond better to certain ways of discipline then others.

In Canada, the law allows for parents (and teachers!) to use reasonable force to teach children (or students) not to do something they shouldn't do (to show them right from wrong). Of course, teachers don't ever use this (they used to hit children's hands with rulers and such), and parents are slowly not using physical measures to discipline.

What do you think? Should more children be spanked? Is spanking a child too harsh, or will it teach the kid a lesson?

spirit_queen 11-18-2009 09:50 PM

Spanking, within reason, is not too harsh; you can create an atmosphere where the threat to be spanked is worse than thae spank itself. for example, ym mom would always count loudly to three, then grab the fly swatter and chase you, and it was embarassing; the chase and the anticipation were much worse than the spank itself, which barely even stung at all.

Spanking, however, should only be used when other forms of discipline aren't working, and parents who do spank should be conscious of how hard they do and what they use (i.e., my mom and her flyswatter).

I think that a lot of parents are really starting to baby their children nowadays, what with taking away games and such, but never really changing the punishment for the drime, except for hbow long the game/grounding lasts. And, even then, some don't keep up with the grounding, and some children can sneak the game, or sneak out to play. Though I'm not for abuse in any way, I think that introducing the idea of a spank as something very bad used only for really bad behavior could work.

One thing that bothers me, however, is how people are so eager to jump the gun on abuse cases; when I was a kid, had I been a bratty child, and gone up to a policeman I saw and said my parents hit me, they'd look into it, but if there wasn't much proof they'd drop it. Nowadays, it seems, if a kid did the same thing, then the parents would be incarcerated for more or less bopping their kid on the rear. -.- Dunno about Canada, but that's what it seems like for the States; they either over-react or under-react.

noirmali 11-18-2009 10:01 PM

Spanking is good. I am not against it. Perhaps it is because I was spanked as a child, and I have actually benefited from it. There is no such thing as excess spanking unless you really are doing it excessively.
(I.E. You do your homework, and get one problem wrong, and get hit for that.)
Also, I'd wish that it didn't hurt so much (ah, as yes, my dad has used a belt before, which the buckle hurt quite a bit XD), but once you do something wrong it's worth it. Also, it should not be done in anger, but in discipline. That must be gotten right. Please try not to do it when you're drunk. *Still remembers being chased around by my dad as a kid, although I don't remember why anymore. I did something stupid, probably, and he was pi'ssed, I ran away from the stick and he followed me, when I fell over he started htiting me.* He was probably drunk, or something, lmao, perhaps not drunk but under the influence.
Heck, if it really pushes you into a depression then you are really weak or they went too far. =__=''

There's a fine line between discipline and hurting just for fun, remember to keep the line seperated and it should all be fine. Remember to be merciful at times, don't push them into crying. o_O'

AaronShadows 11-20-2009 07:17 AM

The last time someone tried to physically discipline me, I hit back and won. =/ maybe it helps for younger kids, but not older ones are far more likely to simply fight back, as they're closer to an even footing with adults.

Miranda_ 11-20-2009 02:32 PM

Not really; most teenagers of course are too old for smacks, but they are in no way on an equal footing with adults. I'd say that children shouldn't be smacked after the age of eight, but of course, it depends on how mature the child is. Once a child responds to reason, use that instead. And a smack should just be a smack with the hand, no objects involved, and used as a punishment for terrible behaviour not for every crime.

LancasterPrincess 11-20-2009 04:11 PM

I severely believe in spankings. And I have just the case to prove my point:

My twin sister and I were spanked growing up. Our father was usually the one to do this. We'd get spanked for being bad, flicked on the head for doing something idiotic and poked hard in the chest for warnings not to push them further. My mom used a spatula, lol, but my dad used himself. My sister and I grew up into fine adults. Granted my sister is a bit wild, but she's not and wasn't overly troublesome. I had an attitude when provoked, but nothing more than that. Now for our brother. He is 7 years younger than we are and since my parents split up (mom taking us miles and miles away) my brother was only physically disciplined for maybe 3 years.

This SCHOOL year alone my brother has been suspended twice, caught breaking and entering, caught stealing, caught high with we.ed on his person, and more....the verdict? He was grounded. Each and every single time, and each and every single time the groundings are lifted because it's too much of a has.sle to keep him grounded. (Whiney as a result of being the overly spoiled 'baby' of the family).

My sister calls to tell me because my mother knows my opinion, which is that she did this to herself. She babyied and spoiled him, she didn't discipline him as his sisters were, she moved him away from his family and so much more.

He was never taught some good and healthy fear of retribution.

TheHayleyDoll 11-24-2009 11:19 PM

Aaron, I'm not talking about spanking an older child anyway. That seems a little excessive. Physical discipline is a good way to teach children right from wrong, because sometimes they don't understand the wording used to reason with them, or they just don't care enough to listen. Children thing, "So what? It's just getting yelled at a little. No big deal." but if they were spanked, they would realize that what they were doing is wrong, and think about whether or not the action was worth getting smacked.

When I was growing up, like I said, I wasn't spanked. I just naturally had a gift for right and wrong, and the most "wrong" thing I did was eat food in the grocery store - and my parents would pay for it (though there was this one time in grade 4 that I pushed my brother and his head hit a little pipe-like thing and he got a concussion. o_O). My parents believed in taking things we liked away from us. It worked for a couple of times, but after that, it didn't matter much. My mother had a habit of giving in long before the punishment was supposed to be over, and even when we did have the computer/game console/telephone taken away from us, we'd just find another hobby instead. So really, it didn't teach much.

I think it really depends on the child, and spanking should be used when other methods don't work.

Rocketship_ 11-25-2009 03:15 AM

I was spanked as a child, and I came out fine. However, my dad did make it very clear when he was done that he had no desire to do that. I think that slapping your child on their backside to settle them down is fine. Now, if you're going to start slapping them all over the place becase you lost your temper, then, well... that's a whole other story.

I think it's silly when people say spanking your child is a form of abuse. How else are you going to get their attention when they're throwing a tantrum? It's alot less abusive to spank than to scream your head off at them.

LancasterPrincess 11-25-2009 03:55 AM

Definately agreed. Mental/verbal abuse can do far worse than some of the physical abuse. (Granted not ALL physical abuse, but some.)

spirit_queen 11-25-2009 06:43 AM

For sure. And phyisically placing your child in time out and holding them while they scream and cry just makes them defy you more, I've seen; it's best to give them a small little swat and be over with it. My mom did fine with us, for the most part; we know what's right and wrong...

Though, sometimes, whethr or not we listen to our conscience is another thing entirely. and grouding doens't work, like, at all.

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