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Default Halloween Writing Contest - 10-01-2010, 11:51 AM

Kicking off a month of fun events, we are beginning with a writing contest. The goal is to retell the following ghost story. You can make it a modern day haunting, a new perspective on the original haunting, from the ghost, the victims, maybe even a reporter investigating the haunting--the possibilities are endless! Your only requirements are that it must be a short story format and your topic has to be the one given! When you have finished your story, submit it here for judging.

Prompt:
Quote:
The house was vacant for 2 years, then in 1880 a family known as Bentley moved in. Their daughter was engaged to an army officer called Kenfield, and they were about to marry. There was a party at the house due to the forth coming wedding there were lots of guests. During the early evening loud screams were heard from the daughters room. Mr Bentley his wife and daughter and Kenfield found the servant in a near catatonic state in the bedroom, she was paralyzed with fear and unable to speak. She died in the hospital the next day after muttering that she had seen "something horrible" in the room.

Capt. Kenfield insisted on staying in the room over night, despite his fiancee's pleas. He set a bell up and promised that he would ring the bell if he saw anything he also had a loaded pistol at his side. It was in the early hours of the morning when frantic sounds of bell ringing filled the house, followed by a loud gunshot. When the family got to the room the found Kenfeild lying on the floor, convulsing in terror, just as the servant had, his eyes were fixed on a corner of the room. The pistol was still clutched in his hand, there was a bullet hole in the corner of the room that was staring at. His words were garbled and gibberish. Kenfeild recovered, but he was never his old self again - and was never able to speak of what he saw in that room.
Berkley Square, London

This contest ends October 24th at midnight (Eastern Time). All participants and winners will receive points towards the Halloween event prizes (point amounts to be determined).


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Last edited by Silver_Wolf_Kitty : 10-12-2010 at 12:10 AM.
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Default 10-03-2010, 06:56 PM

We've had some questions, so to clarify:

1. A short story is defined here as having a minimum of 4-5 paragraphs, but no longer than two post lengths (about 20,000 characters).
2. You must write about this haunting. That is your only limit for topic. You cannot write about unicorns, other hauntings, or how marvelous your pink hair extensions are.
3. Post your entries in this topic.


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Default 10-04-2010, 08:19 PM

Im not sure whether I am allowed to post this here but I am going to enter.....sounds Interesting and I have already started to write.



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Default 10-12-2010, 12:12 AM

The event has been extended. Remember folks, even just entering gets you points towards the prizes! One point could make all the difference, I've seen it happen before. All members and staff can enter, there are no set judges so everyone can participate!


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Default 10-12-2010, 07:19 PM

Posting as a png cuz for some reason, my story wouldn't post. If you are having similar problems and want to know how to do this, PM me.



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Default 10-20-2010, 06:19 PM

The Room
By Fiushia

The moon was barely visible through the clouds that night. Everyone was laughing and joking in the dining room, and I went upstairs to straighten out Amy's bed, trying not to intrude. As I climbed the stairs to her room, I had a growing sense of dread. There was something wrong upstairs. I slowly climbed the stairs and entered Amy's room. What I saw there made me freeze in horror. An enormous Bird of prey was sitting on the bed. It's head was a crimson red, its feathers a black so dark it seemed to suck out the light around it. I tried to turn around, but found myself glued to the floor. The creature turned around and locked its eyes on me. I screamed. The Bird reached out a massive hooked talon, so sharp it could've ripped my body apart like paper, and grabbed me."This is my house" he hissed, grinning wildly. His voice was like the echo your hear on the top of the cliff, but somehow deeper. I could hear the other people in the house running up to see what was wrong. The thing dropped me just as they reached the door. I could't speak. Or I wouldn't let myself. When I woke up the next day, everyone was sitting around me. They were asking me questions, wanting to know what I saw in the room, but I didn't hear them. I was focused on one thing, sitting in the corner. He was grinning like a cat that had just caught a mouse. "It's my house!" He called as he lunged for me again. "Something horrible is in that room!" I managed to scream before the closed in on me.


Is it okay to just submit it like this?
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Default 10-20-2010, 06:31 PM

Your story has to be about the set text in Kitty's post.

Quote:
The house was vacant for 2 years, then in 1880 a family known as Bentley moved in. Their daughter was engaged to an army officer called Kenfield, and they were about to marry. There was a party at the house due to the forth coming wedding there were lots of guests. During the early evening loud screams were heard from the daughters room. Mr Bentley his wife and daughter and Kenfield found the servant in a near catatonic state in the bedroom, she was paralyzed with fear and unable to speak. She died in the hospital the next day after muttering that she had seen "something horrible" in the room.

Capt. Kenfield insisted on staying in the room over night, despite his fiancee's pleas. He set a bell up and promised that he would ring the bell if he saw anything he also had a loaded pistol at his side. It was in the early hours of the morning when frantic sounds of bell ringing filled the house, followed by a loud gunshot. When the family got to the room the found Kenfeild lying on the floor, convulsing in terror, just as the servant had, his eyes were fixed on a corner of the room. The pistol was still clutched in his hand, there was a bullet hole in the corner of the room that was staring at. His words were garbled and gibberish. Kenfeild recovered, but he was never his old self again - and was never able to speak of what he saw in that room.
Sorry, but your story doesn't pass muster. You haven't even mentioned Berkley Square in your text, and in any case, a ghost bird isn't part of the hauntings at all. Also, I think your story is far too short.

Quote:
1. A short story is defined here as having a minimum of 4-5 paragraphs, but no longer than two post lengths (about 20,000 characters).
2. You must write about this haunting. That is your only limit for topic. You cannot write about unicorns, other hauntings, or how marvelous your pink hair extensions are.
3. Post your entries in this topic.
You'll have to edit your entry so it fits the restrictions before it can be accepted.


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Default 10-20-2010, 09:51 PM

I think its an imaginative idea of what might've been in the room, which is certainly the biggest question. If you make it the minimum length and try to set the setting a bit better, it would be acceptable.


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Default 10-21-2010, 08:06 AM

Yeah; my main problem with it was that it was too short and that the setting isn't mentioned. It could work with a bit of editing.


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Default 10-21-2010, 11:31 PM

My story FTW. That's all I can say. ahahaha. <3


It was raining. Thunder, lightning, and droplets slamming down constantly, drawing her closer to him, not wanting the baby she held tightly in her arms to get wet. He smiled down at her, and put his arm around her shoulders. “We'll find somewhere soon, baby. You don't have to worry, You see the bridge up there, were just outside of the middle of London.”

She looked up at him, his hair stuck together in clumps, with water rolling off the ends. Their car had broken down about a half of a mile back, in the pouring rain. Justin had insisted that she wait in the car with the baby, but she didn't want to. Something about London in the dark frightened her, and she didn't want to be alone. “You said that 15 minutes ago.” She said, looking down at the baby. “I'm just worried about her.”

He stopped and looked her in the eyes, the bright blue eyes that sparkled when she laughed, and that he got lost in every time he looked into them. “ She'll be fine, don't worry.” He said, looking along the skyline. There were lots of buildings around here, but it was close to 3 in the morning, and they didn't want to disturb anyone. Suddenly, lightning illuminated the pathway, and Justin saw a house up ahead. “Come on,” he said, starting to walk towards it.”We'll stay here, and see if they have a phone or a car or something.”

“Are you sure?” She asked cautiously, staring at the antique house.

“Of course,” he said, winking. “No one can say no to Justin Bieber.”

They walked up to the house, and he knocked on the door. No one answered it, so he he knocked again, harder this time. The door swung open, creaking as it did so. He pushed door open all the way, and took a step inside before she stuck her arm out in front of him. “Don't go in there!” She yelled at him.

“Why not? Do you see anywhere else to go?”

“No, but it's rude to barge in.. and it's really creepy.”

He stepped back and put an arm around her. “It's alright, I'll be right here. There's nothing in here. There will probably be electricity too, once we get inside I'll get the switch.”

She bit her lip, considering what to do. “Alright, but if anything weird happens, you have to promise we'll leave and find a real place.”

“I promise.” He said, walking inside with her, his arm still around her.

Suddenly, the door slammed behind them, and Justin's hand was ripped out of hers. She turned around and screamed, holding the baby even closer to her. She gripped the door handle in her hand, trying to yank it open, but it wouldn't budge. Something broke free at the bottom of the door, and it flew open, just as the lights turned on behind her. She glanced back and screamed, running away from the place as fast as she could, holding onto her baby for dear life, making the baby scream as it was woken from it's slumber.

Hands reached out from behind her and clasped around her waist, pulling her back to the house. She was screaming and kicking, when she was put back on the ground inside the brightly lit hallway and heard him laugh behind her.

She spun around and slapped him, hard. “Justin Drew Bieber! I can't believe you just did that!” She yelled, trying to comfort the baby back to sleep.
He was still laughing, finding her outrageous reaction hilarious. He took the baby from her and held her face in his free hand. “It's fine. There is absolutely nothing to worry about, this house is perfectly fine.” He said gesturing around the house. She wouldn't meet his gaze, tears still rolling down her cheeks. “Ceilidh,” he said gently, “There's nothing creepy about the house. I'm sorry, okay? I didn't think you'd be so freaked.”

She slapped his arm and took the baby back. “It's not funny.” she murmured, looking away from him and at the house. She slowly walked to the end of the hall,stepping on a creaky floorboard. “Jeeze.” She said, continuing to step on it. “Creaky floorboards? When was this house made? The Revolution?”

Justin explored the house in the opposite direction, heading into the family room first. The entire house was lit up with electricity, somehow the lights worked for all rooms at once. He picked up a leather bound journal, leafing through the pages. He stopped on a page, to see a faded black and white photograph of young couple smiling, standing in front of the house. On the back it said Berkley Square, London, England, August 12th, 1880. Currently, it was July 7th, 2017, making the picture, and the house, over 130 years old.

Eventually Ceilidh stopped being so creeped out by the house, and the baby fell back asleep. Having explored the downstairs part of the home, Ceilidh and Justin walked up the iron stairs, and into the 2 bedrooms of the home. There was a smaller bedroom, probably a guest room, and a master bedroom. They knew no one lived here now, but they still felt like intruders, and settled down on the floor of the guest room, eventually drifting off to sleep.

Everything seemed peaceful in the room. The lights were still on, but the small family was huddled up against the wall, the tiny baby drifting in and out of it's innocent sleeping. However, sometime in the early morning, the baby woke once more, only to start wailing at the sight of something frightening. Startled, Ceilidh and Justin woke up, to become face to face with the same thing.

It was a furry pink unicorn, floating in the air. However, it was glaring down at the two of them, snorting out of it's nose harshly, wondering what these people were doing in it's home. They screamed at the sight of it, not knowing it if was a dream, or if it was real. “Who are you?” The thing demanded.

Justin stuttered. “Justin Bieber.” He said slowly. “And my fiancée, Ceilidh, and our baby, Diana.”

The unicorn continued to glare at them, but when he heard this, his expression softened. “Your Justin Bieber?” It demanded again.

“Yeah, I am.” Justin said, standing up, gaining courage.

“Oh, I am your biggest fan, you simply must sing for me, and I will stop haunting this house forever!” It said gleefully, with hearts in it's giant purple eyes.

Justin shrugged. If this was all it took to get rid of the monster, then why not. He then broke out in an amazing rendition of 'Baby,' and the unicorn monster ghost was so happy, it exploded, leaving the house alone forever, to never be haunted again.

Ceilidh and Justin got married and lived happily ever in the old house, after major remodeling, and redecorating, making sure there were no more scary unicorn ghosts.



baby, you got me. ♥

Last edited by antimaie : 10-21-2010 at 11:33 PM.
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