My Husband Can't Cook Pizza

[TheHayleyDoll]

Yep. He burnt it. He came upstairs and told me he was making pizza, but he was having trouble with the oven, because the preheater light wasn't showing it had preheated. You see, we had a problem with our oven (it simply wouldn't work at all) and had to rip off the back of our stove and replace some fried wires (we have really old appliances). Now the broiler isn't worker, so he thought that maybe it was having trouble getting up to heat without it. He told me he planned on turning it up a bit, just in case.

So he did, and the pizza was BLACK. The entire crust was burnt. It tasted like charcoal, this pizza. I guess turning the oven up wasn't such a good idea, and he obviously never checked half-way through to make sure.

This isn't a one-time event. Not only can he not cook pizza, he can't cook anything. Period. He is literally the worst at cooking. He messed up spaghetti, he's messed up rice... His idea of making me dinner when I get home from work now is microwave dinners. It's sad, really. He'll text me and say, "I made a meal for when you get home!" and I come home to pogos, TV dinners, and mini pizzas.

This thread is for those quirks. It's kind of similar to the "Cute things he does" thread, but whether it be good or bad or just plain freaky, this is for what your loved one can/can't do.

My husband can't cook pizza.

[LancasterPrincess]

TEACH HIM TO COOK NOW, BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

Trust me. I always always always took care of the cooking for Hubs in our 5 years of marriage. Then we got pregnant and I was crawling on the floor I was so nauseous!!! I couldn't get up, and I definitely couldn't cook anything, so I had to rely on him a lot. That sucked SO bad. I went without food for several hours after getting hungy one day because he LITERALLY messed up one meal after another, several in a row, before something edible came out of that kitchen. I was SO thankful when the first trimester was over and I was able to take over kitchen duty again. This time around I've taught him how to manage a few meals so next time I won't be so tortured, lol.

You're pizza situation is not the worst I've heard though, my BIL apprently thought the cardboard under the pizza was supposed to stay under the pizza while in the oven. Guess what caught fire?

[Miranda_]

My fiance has a lot of annoying traits, but by far the most annoying is the way he moans about how long I take to get ready to go out... then, once I'm ready and want to go, he'll say he's forgotten something and vanish into the flat to get it. As in, he's had plenty of time to check he has everything while I'm getting dressed and putting my makeup on, so why does he have to wait til I'm ready to check?

[TheHayleyDoll]

Yeah... I TRY to teach him how to cook, but he reads recipes/directions and still messes it up somehow. He doesn't have a natural talent for it... I should get my dad to teach him - my dad really should have been a chef, he's amazing. Maybe my high standard of food quality is why I consider my husband's cooking so crappy. Anyway, he will definitely be taught before we have children. With all the hormones and mood swings during pregnancy and my naturally easily frustrated self, I do not think I'd enjoy having to wait hours for food.

Men seem to be like that, Miranda. Mine complains about me taking too long, but then before we leave, he always has to go to the bathroom, find his socks, find his keys, etc. etc...

Oh, another weird thing he does is grind his teeth at night. I have never heard any noise as loud, as annoying, or as similar to nails-on-a-chalkboard as that sound. If I grind my teeth, it does not make the same noise at all, so I don't even know if it's actually teeth grinding, or some crazy weird other thing that does not yet have a name. I told him about it, and he was like, "Yeah, my dad's complained to me before about it." I literally have to escape to the couch downstairs because it's so terrible. He also snores INCREDIBLY LOUDLY, but that's more common and he only does that when he sleeps on his back (or was it his side?), if he does this I have to run and hide too. I'm one of those people who need complete darkness and silence in their sleep. >_>

[LancasterPrincess]

The teeth grinding should be fixed before he ruins his teeth. There are really cheap mouth gaurds in pharmacy-sections/stores that he could wear at night to prevent the noise and damage. Also, breathe Right strips are supposed to work wonders too for snoring...or maybe I'm remember that wrong.

My hubby is the opposite when it comes to getting ready to go. I'm almost always done before him. It's even more annoying when a man takes longer, IMO.

[Silent_Wolf]

My boyfriend can't wash dishes right. *sigh*

He washes them, yes. Tries to. Tries very, very hard.

.. he just doesn't do it very well, that's all. *facepalm*