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FadedLight 12-02-2011 08:50 PM

Best friends ex
I'm new to the forumes of TDP and firstly just want to say 'hey'.
But what I really want to as ksomething: is it okay to date your bestfriends ex? My best friend dated this guy for two years and they ended on a bad note (he cheated on her). Well, this year I started hanging out with him because we're both advanced classes and ride the same bus and stuff like that. She was cool with that because they remained friends, too. But he recently asked me out and she told me to say no, even though I want to say yes. She says its because he's a jerk and doesn't want me to get hurt, but I'm not sure if she's just jealouse or something. Any advice/

belladoggy 12-04-2011 02:32 AM

If he cheated on her, chances are he will cheat on you. If she's as a good a friend as you're saying she is, then she really does want you to avoid getting hurt. She knows from experience that this guy isn't the best at handling relationships, so I'd say she's qualified to tell you to turn him down. If he hadn't cheated on her, I'd be more likely to think it was just jealousy, but the thing about cheaters is that they have a reputation of being repeat offenders, even if they say they will "change."

Miranda_ 12-04-2011 09:52 AM

I agree with Bridie. This guy is probably a serial cheater, and your friend is obviously trying to stop you from getting hurt. Maybe you ought to look at his motives in asking you out rather than your friend's. He must know that you're her friend; it just seems a bit suspicious to me that he's being so friendly. I would advise caution in this situation.

KiraIMustBeInvisible 12-20-2011 11:42 AM

Number one thing I've learned these past few years with my best friend, STAY AWAY FROM EX'S!!
Honestly. She may care about you, and that may be the major bit of it, but she's also probably jealous. The best way to avoid these boy problems is to just not date them. Boys are more trouble than they're worth. So, definitely don't.

Besides, my philosophy is: once a cheater, always a cheater. Save yourself the heart break and find a guy deserving of you.

TheHayleyDoll 03-07-2012 02:46 AM

I wouldn't date someone with a history of cheating. It's pretty much already been said, but "once a cheater, always a cheater". I also think your friend would be VERY upset if you dated a guy who broke her heart in that kind of way.

In general, dating a friend's ex depends on the situation, and how bad their break up was. If you're questioning if it's a good idea, ask your friend.

Miranda_ 03-07-2012 10:05 AM

Exactly this. The only time that I'd say to date a friend's ex would be a) if they parted on good terms, b) she's fine with it and c) a considerable amount of time passed since their breakup. A guy who makes a play for his ex's friend a short time after splitting with his girlf, especially if he cheated on her and treated her badly, should be labled trouble with a capital t and avoided.

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