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Default Difference in Age/Life Stages? - 04-15-2011, 10:00 PM

What do you guys think about age differences that are less than 3 years? Because one of my friends that is a little over a year older than me is in college and I'm a senior in high school and I realized I might have feelings for him...but it's kind of strange. Because he's an adult leader in youth group now, and even though I (most likely) will be one next year, that whole thing is weird to think about. I mean, I've known him for a couple years, but now that we're at different life stages idk if it's even appropriate for me to have feelings for him...you know what, this is long enough to warrant a new thread.

It's not like he's twice my age or anything, or like we're super young, and I am 18, so it's not legally an issue...but I wonder about it. Part of me says it shouldn't mater b/c we're still the same age difference and 1.3 years is really nothing in the long run, which I'm about to reach (in that it's not high school anymore). The other part can't get over the label of him as an "adult"...I suppose this is why I have so few senior friends; all the people I was really close to in high school have graduated already

I don't think it's a maturity thing (b/c I've been told multiple times that I look and act older than my age), but it's been on my mind a lot lately..thoughts?

Side note, this isn't just for me personally...I think anyone with age difference (not the "10 year old" thing) questions should be able to post in here.



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Default 04-15-2011, 11:58 PM

My husband is 2 years older than me. For a week or so he's 3 years older (his birthday is August 28th, mine is September 5th) and we tease each year that he's a cradle robber.

In such a close age period (I am NOT okay with large differences) I think what matters most is intellectual, emotional, and maturity closeness.

I've always acted more mature than others my age, and I think that makes a huge difference in our small gap.

Personally, I think what you need to do is really take stock in how compatible y'all are. A slight difference will make a difference, at some point or another. 2 years can make a huge differences in wants and desires (think moving for school, sex, marriage, children, etc), but if y'all are (TRULY) on the same level I don't see a problem.

I really mean to stress how honest you need to be with yourself. I have a twin sister who acts her age (remember, I act much older), there have been many many many times that my husband and I have been irritated with her behavior and choices, which are deemed normal for our age. If you make the mistake of evaluating your own situation biasedly you'll only be delaying and intensifying your pain.

Also, when I say I "act older" or that we were "compatible" I don't just mean maturity. Aaron and I are intellectually compatible, we're emotionally compatible. We're in the same stages in all lifes important milestones. As in, we were both ready to be married at the same time, our wants in sex and children were the same, etc.


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Last edited by LancasterPrincess : 04-16-2011 at 12:19 AM.
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Default 04-16-2011, 04:37 PM

Haha my fiance is six years older than me. XD I don't see any harm in it at all, once people are beyond the "child" stage and into adulthood.


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Default 04-17-2011, 01:39 PM

I know a couple form my high school (one is staff), and the wife is a whole 15 years older than he is, but they seem to love each other dearly.

I, personally, at this stage in my life, am not comfortable with younger men (seeing as how they'd all be hormonal teens) or way older men (they have problems if they're looking at college-age girls).

But, again, things like age difference are a case-by-case thing. There are some generalities to stick to, but I'm sure we all know them by now and I needn't go into Lecture Mode.


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Default 04-17-2011, 07:59 PM

I dont see a huge problem in it. My mom is in her early 50's while my father is in his 60's already, as long as they love each other like there's no tomorrow, then theres no problem. My girlfriend is 3 years older than me, I'm 15 and she's 17 and we love each other like theres tomorrow. We never met but we both know that there something there, even her sister knew how much she loved me without her realizing it. We're meeting this summer and ig out parents dont like, then they're gonna have to live with it becuase we'll do anything to be together.
To me, age is just number, what matters it how much you love that person and how much you want to be with them. When my mom told her father about my father, he didnt like it so much, but they stayed together because how much they love each other.



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