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TheHayleyDoll 04-19-2010 09:56 PM

Serial Daters
 
I'm sure we all know them. They're the kinds that go through boyfriends/girlfriends like they're going out of style, with their relationships lasting a month, at most.

I have this friend, let's call her K. Now, K has dated at least a dozen guys in her lifetime, and her longest relationship was when she's was in Grade 8 (when dating doesn't mean anything) and lasted for three months. In past year, she's had at least five boyfriends. Most of them lasted a week or two (one lasted TWO DAYS, and they got back together a couple days later, so they could "date" for another three or four days). Her newest boyfriend she's been dating since late March. Quite a shock, I'd say. It's nearly been a month. xD

She keeps talking about how hot the guys are and how much she loves them. I'm thinking, "Right, you love them, you've been dating for a week, and all you can tell me about is their bodies and that 'they're nice'..."

It's her life, but I honestly don't think she loves them. I'm in the best relationship of my life right now, and I can honestly say that I am in love (We've been together 7 months! =D). I've never felt this way before, and I suppose, until she's truly in love, she won't understand what love means.


Of course, the "I love you for a week" serial dater is only one breed of serial daters. Here is a brief list (including the one mentioned above in summary):


The "Fun Run": This is the kind of guy/girl that dates purely out of enjoyment. They aren't looking for a commitment, or even a real relationship. What they want is someone to have fun with, nothing else. These daters usually meet their other at parties or from being introduced by friends. After the break up, they rarely speak to each other. Dates per year (D/Y): 5-10

The "Love Bug": The love bug is unsure of what love is. They usually start dating someone based mainly on attraction, and become easily infatuated, which they mistake for love. These relationships normally last no longer than a month. After a break up, however, they usually feel bad for no more than 2 or 3 days, at which time they meet some other good looking person. Though they don't have bad intentions (they might actually want a commitment, and might honestly think they're in love), they're still serial daters. D/Y: 5-8

The Liar: These are one of the worst serial daters. Usually attractive and arrogant, they use their athletic ability or appearance to snag members of the opposite sex. Though they say they love you, this is usually a lie - their intentions are no greater than the "Fun Run" serial dater. They usually break up with you, without considering your feelings, after a couple weeks. D/Y: 10+, if they're good enough at getting who they want.

The Snob: Usually female, The Snob is really just looking for a servant/someone to push around. When they say that they love you, it's either said in a very nonchalant manner, or very over the top and fake sounding. Like the liar, they usually use their looks to catch their prey. Their average relationship length varies, depending on how good a servant you make. D/Y: 3-7

Fear of Commitment: Unlike most serial daters, these daters might actually have feelings for their boyfriend/girlfriend (and they don't seek out innocent people to prey on), but they just don't want to be tied down and find it difficult being with one person for longer than a month or so. These ones can possibly be fixed with a good talking to. D/Y: 5-10, possibly more.

Fear of Being Alone:
Like the previous one, these daters don't search for people with the intention of breaking hearts. However, once this dater is with someone, they can become excessively clingy, possessive, and/or jealous. If they are broken up with (with that reason, or any other), they will be sad for a couple days, but instantly try and find someone else to fill that void. These daters rarely go for a month single. D/Y: 7-10

The Immature One: This ones pretty basic. Usually, they aren't mature enough to handle relationships, so their relationships are short. They may have many, because they don't fully understand dating yet. They might also want to "look cool". D/Y: 4-5

The Cheater: This is the worst type of serial dater you can encounter. Unlike the others, which at least have the decency to date one at a time, the Cheater tends to date up to 5 at once. They will make you feel like they love you, but don't be fooled. The Cheater also can have aspects from other serial daters, usually the Liar and the "Fun Run". They date longer than most serial daters (sometimes up to half a year, or longer, for individual girls). Highly dangerous - beware. D/Y: 10+


So, what I'm getting at is, has anyone here ever experienced these type of daters? I've experienced some personally, but I certainly know people who are these daters, or had been affected by them. Shed your light. :P

Silver_Wolf_Kitty 04-19-2010 10:55 PM

Well, I was a big time serial dater back in my day. I would run through boys in about two months, though there was a period where I went through maybe 4-5 in a month. Its not really that I didn't care for them, but I was in a stage where I was trying to find myself. Since I wasn't sure who I was as a person(and felt very badly about myself to boot, so I would often sabotage the relationship), it didn't turn out well. It ended up being a learning experience, though admittedly a bad one since I ended up with "The Cheater" for four years.

On that, everyone has to remember that fun boyfriend of mine who hung around here, basically monitoring everything I say. He totally was a serial dater. During our "relationship"(I hesitate to label it one after the first year because then he showed his true colors--aka being an abusive ass), I knew he cheated at least 3-4 times(and he actually flat out told me too, what an added bonus). I later found out it was more than that. I beat myself a lot for letting myself be terrified into staying, but I guess in some stupid way I thought he would change. Sadly, he went on to do that to a friend of mine and now, so I hear, runs through girls like crazy.

Miranda_ 04-20-2010 06:48 AM

There's another type; The Insecure. Otherwise known as The Sl*t. There was a girl like that at my school, who'd brag about how many boys she'd slept with, and how awesome she was cuz all the boys wanted to be with her. Obviously she was bolstering up her own terrible self esteem by being so. She eventually had to leave school in fourth year cuz she fell pregnant; right now, she has five kids all by different fathers. I think with her she thought that just cuz guys thought she was easy and wanted to sleep with her, she thought it made her attractive. It's sad in a way.

Xx_Pixie_Dust_xX 04-20-2010 03:40 PM

There is a girl for every category of serial daters on that list, and some fit multiple ones, at my school. It's so annoying to hear them in the halls telling eachother they "love them" when they've only been "dating" for 2 hours. Dating for them is standing at eachothers lockers between class and saying they're married/engaged on facebook. I have never had a boyfriend and I don't want one now because 95% of the guys I know are extremely immature. Most of them are very shallow anyways and just go for eachother because the majority of their friends think they're hot and they want "popularity" amongst themselves. :roll:
I've only known of one relationship that was not serial dating amongst my year in highschool, and that was two of my best friends. They went out for almost 5 months, and they actually did stuff together after school and didn't just do it for attention. (It was quite the opposite because a lot of kids gave them strange looks, started rumors and shunned them because they were both girls, but they didn't care.)

spirit_queen 04-20-2010 05:15 PM

I agree with Miranda; the majority of girls at my school or somewhat like the Insecure category.

But I am getting sick of watching this one Snob at lunch and her Boy Pet; they've been dating for at least a year, but the way she treats him is disgusting, and she's not even that pretty to begin with. (I'm not calling her completely ugly, she's just not drop dead gorgeous.)

She had to be putting out. The way she reats that boy (they're both freshman, and the boy looks like he should still be in sixth grade O.o), there's no other reason he'd stay with her. She yells at him a lot, intimidates him, and wants him to hang off her arm mostly silently; if he speaks, she rolls her eyes and yells at him later, when all her friends are gone. It is honestly the most disgusting thing I've seen at our school, and, remember, this is the school that had 27 pregnant girls in one year in one class, so there's a lot of gross stuff going around.

jellydino 05-27-2010 08:30 PM

There's this boy, Ricky who tried to hit onto me and he dates girls for a day and then breaks their hearts. Happened to my ex-friend. He's not even good looking o.O


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