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Aihana_ 02-07-2010 03:21 PM

First Boyfriend??
So hello again TDP! Haven't been around much but I come back for your wise knowledge. ;)

I have my first BF, and I wanted to know what things I should be aware of. He's a great guy and all but I'd still like to have a touch on the basics. :)

Silver_Wolf_Kitty 02-07-2010 04:00 PM

What sort of basics are you looking for? Like a description of his package(just teasing) or some tips for a first relationship?

Well, I'll say don't put too much pressure on this relationship. It is a rare occurrence when the first is your last, so don't worry about him being it. Instead, take it easy and remember that this is practice for when you do settle on a guy. Problems will come up(they usually do), so just keep your chin up and know there are other guys out there.

Don't rush. Don't go flitting off saying you love him(which, we all remember that age, you may feel like that eventually) and don't rush anything physical. Many people regret rushing into things and it tends to put undo pressure on a beginning relationship.

Relax and be confident! Don't change yourself. If he has interests you don't, don't be afraid to give them a shot, but that doesn't mean you need to change your life to become his perfect girl. Staying yourself is more important than any guy.

I think that covered the basics? Its been awhile since my first boyfriend, but I can't imagine the awkwardness has changed much.

Aihana_ 02-08-2010 12:01 AM

Hahaha, just the BASICS! Thank you, it really does help me a lot to hear this because you're probably right, the awkwardness is still definitley the same :P

Miranda_ 02-08-2010 09:07 AM

I'd agree with Kitty on everything she's said. XD Definitely, don't try and change yourself for a boy. Also, have fun! Don't think of it as an omg big serious relationship, more as something fun and enjoyable. Go on dates, like to the cinema or to a cafe. And lay down the law as far as the physical side goes; don't let anyone try and push you further than you want to go. Enjoy it for what it is, not for what it could be; and remember... YOU are dating this boy, not your friends. They can give you advice, but ultimately, it's none of their business what you do with him or don't do.

Silver_Wolf_Kitty 02-08-2010 07:47 PM

Definately set the boundaries. I regret not doing that and it had awful results, with me constantly feeling the pressure to do what they wanted. If you feel like you are doing something you don't or like you are doing it to make him happy, stop right there and don't go any further. He needs to respect your boundaries and any guy who doesn't deserves the boot.

I also will say beware the guy who is unwilling to accept your friends and family or seems to drive them off. While it isn't their relationship, no decent friendship should ever come into question because of him. If he pulls any "me or thems" or suggests your friends meddle too much, take a good look at why he is so nervous about having them around because it suggests there is something wrong with him. There is a big difference between concern over an unhealthy relationship and demanding someone gives people up. My ex did this to me and before I realized it, I had lost all of my friends. In fact, I'm still suffering from what he did in driving them off and "speaking for me" and don't think I'll ever be able to repair the majority of my friendships.

This ties into another point, don't ever be so engulfed in a relationship that you forget your friends. Designate time for him and time for you. Don't blow off your friends or spend every moment free with him. You will want the space and the chance to be with your friends. Trust me, the time spent with them won't be much once you leave high school and you will want to treasure those memories. While you'll make friends in college, its not exactly the same, so don't miss out on them when you have the chance. Boys come and go, your friends are going to be there for a long time if your relationships are strong.

This may seem like a lot, but if you continue to just be yourself and stick with your life, these will all come second nature. Relationships are supposed to be fun, so enjoy this innocence now. When you get older, most guys aren't as interested in that silly first moment that you held hands or laughing over your awkward first kisses. They tend to treat most girls as a game(or, their pants as one) until they find the right one, so its this rare time you should treasure where the priority isn't sex--its just liking one another.

Aihana_ 05-07-2010 08:32 PM

Now for another question, it still relates on this but what do you get a first boyfriend of around two months for their birthday? Because I am COMPLETELY stumped...

Silent_Wolf 05-07-2010 09:08 PM

Cookies are nice for a present.

Aihana_ 05-11-2010 09:50 PM

hahahhaah! Really?! I didn't actually think of baking him something....hmm, that's actually not too bad of an idea! :P

Miranda_ 05-12-2010 08:15 AM

Wouldn't have a clue; I've been with my guy for nine years and I still never know what to get him for his birthday. XD I always end up having to ask.

NotYourPrincess 05-16-2010 08:27 PM

Depends on his taste.

my guy likes video games and necklaces and chess.

Baking him something would be good too. Maybe make him a cupcake with one of those trick candles.
Never underestimate a good gag gift. =p

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