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Dating Come get advice on dating relationships here! Questions/Answers/Different Dating Topics.

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Default 04-18-2009, 09:43 AM

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Originally Posted by xJESSiCA View Post
well of course it's not dating. But sadly, kids these days are so ahead of even how I was in say..5th grade. They know what se.x is, they know all of those things (at least most of my sister's friends. My sister is, luckily, not as knowledgable about that..), and they're kissing and "dating". But having a boyfriend at 10 is a different thing - it's cute and it makes you feel all grown up, which, at 10, is exactly what everyone wants. Plus, that's when everyone starts to realize that the opposite gender doesn't have cooties and all.

But no, it's not dating. Even as a freshman in highschool, I don't think the majority of my class is "dating". They might have boyfriends, they might kiss in the hallway, they might hold hands and go see a movie with friends, but we're still only 14/15. And there's more important things, I've come to realize. (:
I don't see the difference between having a 'boyfriend' and 'dating'. It is the same thing at that age and the line you are trying to draw doesn't exist in my opinion. You ask any 10 year old with a boyfriend, they will tell you they are dating. They are doing plenty of things with said boyfriend that older teens would be shocked is happening at 10. Its not cute, its dangerous. They are engaging in sexual activity, which is illegal and both can actually be charged with stat rape, and often times do not have the knowledge that an older teen does. I know that when I was in high school, almost half of the middle schoolers had an STD. Want to know what they were doing then? Having these cutesy boyfriends you are defending. They thought that having a boyfriend meant needing to have sex and they did all right. They were having oral sex parties, right down to the sixth graders who were only 10-11. That doesn't sound to me like a defendable practice.

Even if they aren't participating in these acts, dating at a young age, even during high school, is a terrible distraction and has a huge effect on their attitudes. I remember when my brother's girlfriend almost didn't show up to his birthday party in january. He had a fit, pouting upstairs and throwing a tantrum. He was only 11 at the time, you're telling me that that kind of behavior is cute? Its not. Children invest themselves into these "boyfriends" as much as I do into my long-term relationship, which is a lot. What's worse is because they are younger, they cannot deal with the problems that come along with it. They believe their boyfriend is cheating if they hang out with other girls, that having a boyfriend means you have to do certain things sexually, and even believe full heartedly that these are the people they will spend their lives with. I was never that emotionally invested in my childhood "boyfriend", but children today are.

Finishing my rant, even 10 year olds who you suggest only have cutesy boyfriends no longer act like that. I had a cutesy boyfriend at that age, children today do not. They have full on hardcore relationships and I still don't believe they should be encouraged.


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Default 04-18-2009, 01:18 PM

I had cutesy relationships when I was younger too, but they were just guy friends that I'd sit with at lunch and they'd give me chocolate or something. xD That was in Grade 4. But I wasn't dating, and they were really just friends that I had a little puppy crush on.

I did date a guy in Grade 7, but we only went on one date, and we just sat beside each other in class and at lunch. It was completely innocent.

Girls nowadays are getting pregnant at younger and younger ages because they're engaging in unsafe sex while they're still in elementary or middle school. Some kids don't seem to know the consequences of having unprotected sex at that age, either.

I completely agree with Kitty's post. Relationships in children are not so innocent anymore, and they really don't need to focus on relationships at their age, anyway. Guy friends aren't boyfriends, and younger girls need to know the difference.
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Default 04-18-2009, 02:18 PM

Not to mention the fact that boys of that age are incredibly immature, and are not as interested in the relationship as the girls are. For example, a 12 year old boy might sit with his girlf one day, then another girl the next. He won't get why his girlf is throwing a fit and will just tell her she's dumped. That means one girl in floods of tears at a time when she shouldn't even be thinking about relationships, let alone about being dumped. Kids of that age aren't mature enough to deal with all the ups and downs and bad things that come with a relationship, no matter how they may think they are.

If you're still rushing home so that you don't miss Hannah Montana and still have a dozen soft toys on your bed, you are not ready for dating. I know I've said this before, but why can't children just enjoy their childhood? Sometimes I find myself longing for the days where I had no responsibilities, no worries about bills and rent, and no work save for chores. -.-


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Default 04-18-2009, 06:12 PM

Well yeah, like you're saying, it's ridiculous that these younger kids are having, as you said, hardcore relationships. It's stupid. But having a cutesy boyfriend, there is nothing wrong with it. But at the same time I wish I would've taken advantage of being 10, I'd die to go back to the day when boys had cooties and you threw things at them. C:
But kissing, even having se.x at age 10? that's insane! I didn't even get my first kiss until about three weeks ago - to know that there are 10 year olds that have already done more things than me, that's sick. There's no other way to define it.
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Default 04-18-2009, 06:15 PM

When my friends and I played kiss chase at primary school, we ran away from the boys. O.o They had germs!

I blame the parents as far as those ten year olds that are doing adult stuff at that age; they're probably the same ones who let their children dress like prostitutes in high heels, crop tops, thongs and minis. O_o


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Default 04-18-2009, 06:19 PM

lol I just remember daring my friends to go up and poke them, so they would get infested with the nasty boy cooties. It's amazing how much more..dirty almost these elementary schoolers have gotten in only 4 or 5 years.

Honestly, as far as the parents go, I think it's more the peers. Or older siblings. My sister is 10, and she's already had one "boyfriend" - a cutesy one though - because I had a guy I was interested in and she wanted to be just like me.

But nevertheless, no matter what is teaching kids that it's okay to do these things, they are just gonna get worse..
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Default 04-18-2009, 08:49 PM

I wouldn't say its mostly the peers or the parents, I think its the media. Of course the parents could make a stronger effort to cut it out, but the media is putting out these ideas. Young girls look up to people like Miley Cyrus and lets see where she is. Dating a 20 year old, almost certain to be doing things with him, and breaking the law. These girls see her and think "oh, if she can do that, I can too!". Its rather sickening how quickly kids have "matured". I was still playing with barbies well into middle school and I'll be the first one to admit that I missed out a lot on my childhood. I thought it was "normal" to date at a young age and I learned my lesson hard. I think a strong part of it was TV and magazines and the such, though I also had to cope with being an unacceptable daughter for not being girly enough according to my step-mother at the time and thought dating was a way to rebel/make her happy at the same time.


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Default 04-20-2009, 10:15 PM

when i was in 5th grade(i was 11 yrs old at the time) Some of my classmates were dating and already kissing.
I wasn't dating though.


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Default 04-21-2009, 07:03 AM

As I, Hayley and several other people have already said, that is not dating. Jeez. -.-


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Default 04-21-2009, 08:53 AM

I hate when people say they're dating, but they're just holding hands. So why don't they just say they're holding hands and not dating? xD


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