Is it too young to date at age 10?

[tadfoal]

I'm with Jessica.
When you're 10, boys still have cooties. It's a lot simpler that way sometimes.

(By the way, what's wrong with not going on many dates with your boyfriend? Me and mine don't go out much, mostly because we're (read:he is) overwhelmed with schoolwork a lot of the time... That doesn't mean I'm not his girlfriend...)

[Miranda_]

Neither do I cuz of work commitments; our shifts aren't melding much at the moment. However, you've completely missed the point that I and others are trying to make. -.- If you didn't have schoolwork, if it were the holidays, I'm assuming that you would go out together. You'd also talk to each other a lot, share your innermost thoughts and fears, connect with each other. You'd think about him a lot, and text him. In short, what you'd have would be a relationship; where as a ten year old who holds hands with her ten year old boy mate and walks to the corner store with him does NOT have one. No children in the 10-13 age group are going out on their own with boys; any parents who'd allow their child to go out alone should be investigated. Kitty can explain this better than me, but I hope I've made it clear.

[Silver_Wolf_Kitty]

Originally Posted by tadfoal

I'm with Jessica.
When you're 10, boys still have cooties. It's a lot simpler that way sometimes.

(By the way, what's wrong with not going on many dates with your boyfriend? Me and mine don't go out much, mostly because we're (read:he is) overwhelmed with schoolwork a lot of the time... That doesn't mean I'm not his girlfriend...)

Going out on dates doesn't make you his girlfriend or not. Quite frankly, I don't even really consider when me and my boyfriend go out as a date since we are simply enjoying each other's company. Also, we're in a long distance relationship so we don't even get to go on dates at all to begin with.

A relationship is much more than going out on dates. Your partner is your best friend, your companion. They know the most embarrassing, the most sad things about you and they still love you with all of their heart. They improve you without demanding change and so many other things. Younger children and teens cannot understand that. It has nothing to do with dates, it has to do with their mental understanding of it.

[CherryCherryBoomBoom__]

to young. thats like grade 5 here. i only started when i was 14... grade 9.......and wow...

[Kiani]

Im of the party that believes that 'dating' is what you make it.

Sure, 10yr old boyfriend and girlfriend hand-holding isnt technically dating and it is definetly not going to have emotional intensity that an adult relationship will have, but in 10yr old world, its the dating equivalent.

Its all an experience in the end, all something to learn from.

I work with kids aged 5-11, and the older ones are all paired up, pretty much, sure, theyre not really dating, but theyre holding hands and tellign each other theyre boyfriend and girlfriend, and im not going to come along and crush that for them, that wouldnt be fair, because I know I did that when I was their age too. Its learning, its growing and adapting, you ahve to start at the begnining to get to the end, and with relatioships, the beginning is the hand-holding and the giggling and the sitting next to each other.

[Miranda_]

That's not an adult relationship tho; it's a crush and it's pretty silly to call it anything but. I could call myself a PA, on the grounds that serving drinks behind the bar is a little like it; but it's not and I'm not. Ten year olds are at best crushing and at worst just good friends; let them keep their innocence and save dating for high school.

[Silent_Wolf]

Kiani, at ten, boys have something called cooties. I don't care where you live, a majority of the world's ten year old girls believe boys have cooties. Nobody DATE-DATES at ten. There's a thing as play-dates, but those are just that - PLAY dates, for PLAYING. Not actual dates. Actual dating starts in high school or late middle school.

[sentimental7]

I agree entirely with Miranda_ and Silent_Wolf.

For ten year olds, they tend to think that it's a relationship but it's not. Just because 2 ten year olds are calling eachother boyfriend and girlfriend, it's still not like an actual relationship at all. There are no characteristics of an actual relationship between two children who claim to be "dating." It really just seems more fun to them, and a way to spend their time I guess.

It just annoys me that children are trying to grow up so fast and act like they are in a serious relationship or such. O___o When I use to attend public school, there were children in kindergarten pretending they were dating. Even though I too was young, I found it completely ridiculous. XDD But alas, everyone thinks that it's such a huge thing in middle school, when it should only be thought about in the highschool years in my opinion.

But again, I don't see what the big deal is to have a boyfriend so young in the first place. You still have plenty of time to date when you're older, and it's better that way.

I'm 16 and haven't had a boyfriend, because I don't see the sense in having one yet. XD I really don't get why so many kids find it a neccessity to have a "boyfriend". O.o

But yes, that's just my opinion. I believe 10 is too young; you should wait for several more years.

[Silver_Wolf_Kitty]

Originally Posted by Kiani

Im of the party that believes that 'dating' is what you make it.

Sure, 10yr old boyfriend and girlfriend hand-holding isnt technically dating and it is definetly not going to have emotional intensity that an adult relationship will have, but in 10yr old world, its the dating equivalent.

Its all an experience in the end, all something to learn from.

I work with kids aged 5-11, and the older ones are all paired up, pretty much, sure, theyre not really dating, but theyre holding hands and tellign each other theyre boyfriend and girlfriend, and im not going to come along and crush that for them, that wouldnt be fair, because I know I did that when I was their age too. Its learning, its growing and adapting, you ahve to start at the begnining to get to the end, and with relatioships, the beginning is the hand-holding and the giggling and the sitting next to each other.

I really disagree. Children don't think of their dating as less than adult dating and actually will force the same intensity upon their actions. I don't know where you live, but from my experiences(not only as a young teen dater, but as the oldest of 7 and someone who has studied children for research) they don't just hold hands and giggle.

Allowing children to consider themselves "adult" and to "date" also suggests to them that they can do more, like have sex. The relationships of children are not innocent. There are 6 year olds who ask their parents about oral sex, do you really believe 10 year olds should be encouraged in this "dating", which could lead to completely illegal behavior? (Yes, it is illegal for underage children to be having sex together. Yes, they can be charged with stat rape even if they are both minors.) I don't. I would rather burst their bubbles and keep them from entering a world fraught with dangerous behavior and unhealthy relationships due to their lack of understanding of proper dating.

Also, children emulate what they see. If they live in abusive households(which are incredibly common), they are likely to bring that into "dating". I don't see why we should encourage the abuse cycle. It happened with myself. My childhood household was extremely abusive and I ended up in a very long series of abusive relationships(because I wanted love), some physical, some mental, some which resulted in me being sexually violated because I thought it was okay. My age and innocence led me into those relationships, I don't want to see another young girl(or a boy) suffer from those same things.

[LancasterPrincess]

I don't know...I was dating in 6th grade. No, it wasn't serious or love, but yes we were actually dating. He took me to dinners and movies and the like. Boys stopped having "cooties" in the 4th grade when I got my first "boyfriend". And I'll admit that that guy was simply a crush. Nothing but the giggling/hand-holding and one kiss on the cheek, lol.

I think there are 2 types of dating, the fun kind that even adults do (ever heard of a guy with commitment issues? lol) and then the serious kind, the kind that leads to growth and love. I've had my series of "fun" dating and only 3 serious dating which didn't happen until late-highschool.

I think it's fine to have cutesie "boyfriends" when you're young which is just the giggling/hand-holding and the like.
I think it's fine to date in middle school as long as it's just "fun" dating.
And I think it's okay for serious dating by late-highschool.

Of couse none of this goes by everyone, age really isn't anything when compared to true maturity. A lot of middle schoolers may still think boys have cooties and thus shouldn't be "fun" dating till later, just the giggling/hand-holding for now lol.