I saw that the "double standards" thread was in danger of going offtopic, so I made this new thread. It's certainly true that if a rapist is determined to assault his victim, the victim is powerless to stop him. However, there are things you can do so as not to put yourself in danger. Tho no person deserves to be raped, a lot of people do in fact put themselves in danger thru either thoughtlessness or stupidity, like the following:
- Leaving drinks unattended in a strange bar.
- Going home with a stranger.
- Getting into unmarked taxis without asking for ID.
- Walking alone thru rough neighbourhoods.
- Making themselves look sexually available.
If you think the fifth one isn't fair, then nope; it's not fair. But it's true. Yes, it would be nice if girls could do and wear whatever they want and not get anything bad back, but this is the real world and people are not nice. Dressing like a hooker and talking like a p*rn star will make guys think that you're up for sex, regardless of whether you are or not. The younger you are, the more dangerous it is and the less likely you are to be able to fight off your attacker. You can dress sexy without looking cheap; and save the sex talk for when you're among friends, not when you're at a club surrounded by strangers, one of whom could be a rapist.
Tho no girl, or indeed, guy, deserves to be the victim of a sex attack, it does make sense to at least try to make sure that you don't deliberately put yourself in a situation where things will be taken out of your control. A lot of people tend to think "It wouldn't happen to me" whenever they go back to a stranger's house or get into an unmarked taxi, but yes, it can happen to you. Better to try and prevent it happening rather than think that way.
The following is taken from an email that I received some time ago; it has very useful advice to anyone who goes out to pubs and clubs.
Pubs, Clubs & Parties:
- Know your limit. If you feel too drunk too quickly, you are at risk. If a friend looks like she's in a bad way, never leave her alone.
- Never accept a drink from a stranger - it could be spiked. If someone offers to buy you a drink, go to the bar with them and take the drink directly from the bar staff.
- Don't leave drinks unattended. Choose carefully - a bottled beer or alcopop is harder to spike than a glass of vodka and coke. Avoid punchbowls or jugs of drink.
- If your drink looks or tastes suspicious, don't drink it. Remember though, that date rape drugs can be colourless, odourless and tasteless. If you do leave a drink on the bar and come back to it, don't drink it. Order yourself a fresh one instead.
- Remember, all drinks can be tampered with, even water, tea and coffee, and soft drinks.
- Plan how to get home before you go out. Share a cab with a friend and get out together, if possible.
- Don't hail cabs. Keep the number of a reputable taxi firm on your mobile phone. When you book, ask for the driver's name, and the make and colour of his car.
- Take black cabs or licenced minicabs - these are approved by the local authority or police and have identity numbers.
- When the cab arrives, ask the driver his name and company, who he is collecting, and what address he's expecting to go to. If he can't answer, then don't get in.
- Always look for the taxi sign on a minicab. Even if a car looks exactly like a taxi but without the sign, then don't take it. Most taxis have the name and number of their firms accross their cars. Prefer these firms over those with plain cars.