virginity

[Silver_Wolf_Kitty]

That is a really awful thing to say about guys. While men are always immature, it is just flat out insulting to believe once you are older and ready to have sex that the guy will just leave. While there are guys like that out there, you will never be able to find a decent guy in a few years if you hold that kind of view. Hell, I had sex with my boyfriend and he hasn't left yet(AND we are in a long distance relationship, so its not like we are together that often either so I could understand him leaving). We were each other's firsts and if anything it brought us closer, as it does every time for us because it requires a lot of trust and is a huge emotional connection for both of us. That isn't to say you should go out and do that just because, its something that should be saved for someone you love and trust and never should occur unless you are mature enough to handle the consequences, but not every single guy is some scumbag who runs off the second he gets some. Commitment comes in more forms than simply marriage you know, be it an engagement, long-term relationship, or even a simple agreement to see what happens in the future. I am committed to a man I have only been with for around 2-3 months, but that commitment comes from the agreed knowledge that we have future plans together. We openly talk about what our plans are together after college and over the next few years, which involves us moving in, so marriage alone is not a guarantee. It isn't a guarantee to begin with.

Oh yes, I lost my virginity rather clumsily in september, properly a few weeks ago to my boyfriend. Normally I'm not someone to get physical that fast, but my connection with him is different and I trust him completely to not take advantage of me, which he hasn't and never will. I guess its really because we both see us having a legitimate future together and I'm glad to have saved it for someone who I love very much and is willing to learn with me.

[Kiwi_Kat]

well im 12 and unlike some of the people on here.... im a virgin. i hope to be that way until i get married. i think thats just wrong that there are 12 year olds on here that have had sex! thats just bad!

[xomusicluvaa]

last year i went out with this guy (i was in SEVENTH grade) and all he talked about online was sex!!!! at first i thought he was joking but then it got worse and i was like DUDE WE ARE SO THRU!

[Silver_Wolf_Kitty]

You do realize that having sex isn't the focus of your life after losing your virginity, right? I have a meaningful relationship with my boyfriend and it is our way of physically expressing our love for each other, but certainly not the focus of our relationship. Most of our time is actually spent doing other things, like school, work, running errands, etc. While it is true that sex can become the focus once you have it, if you wait until the right moment it can enhance your relationship, like it did mine.

Once more, not meant to encourage underage sex. You girls should wait until you are legal and in a stable relationship before you even consider having sex. If you decide not to wait, make sure you are ready. It makes all of the difference in the world and you will never regret it if you wait for the right moment. That isn't to say it is planned(our proper one wasn't fully, though we had protection and had talked), but you should be prepared and have discussed protection, consequences, etc with your partner beforehand. Under no circumstances though should you have sex young. You can't both appreciate the emotional connection involved in losing it to someone(which takes a tremendous amount of trust) and then the focus is more upon the **** of the act rather than any actual love.

[Miranda_]

I agree with Kitty. Not only are you far too young to fully understand the consequences of your actions if you have sex before you reach the age of consent, but it's also very unlikely that you and your boyf will be mature enough to deal with all the emotions and stuff.

I've been with my boyf for nearly eight years. We know each other inside out and trust each other. We've also talked about "What if" situations and know exactly what we want in life. We have sex, yes, but that's not the be all and end all of our relationship. We connect as people, and spend time together as friends. Can all teenage couples truly say that? I think not.

[spirit_queen]

Balance. That's what I call it.

For a strong relationship, you need a balance of three things; commitment, friendship, and "love" (not just plain old l'ust, but I don't have a better word).

Commitment to stand by each other. Friendship because you have to be able to get along as people to have a decent relationship, and love is obvious. They way Miranda has described her relationship, it sounds like she has all three, and they've been together eight years. See? It works!

The reason I don't really want to date in high school is because most guys my age don't know what this means. Or, if they do as intellectuals, then, the way my mom phrased it, the majority of said guys "think is shoul apply to somebody else". Of course, there's always the exception, but I doubt I'll find him soon. But, if I do find such a guy, my plans are changeable (except for the virginity part).

[booni_monkey]

Baby in the 5th grade? That sounds a little off to me. The youngest age I've heard of to have sex and get pregnant is 11. But really, it isn't the point in a relationship, like these people are saying. If you most likely just finished the human body unit at school, there is no point at really trying.

[Silver_Wolf_Kitty]

Actually, girls have gotten pregnant at as young as 6 I believe. You can get pregnant before you have your period since eggs are sometimes released for several months before your period begins. 5th grade is no surprise in comparison to that, especially since puberty has been beginning at a younger and younger age.

[x_____x]

Well, I just started going out with this guy a few days ago, and he told me his families coming here over Christmas Break. We've been really good friends for a while, but suddenly, ever since we started going out - all he talks about is sex. He even hinted a couple of times that "he wants to have fun with me". I just laugh it of, but I honestly don't think I'm ready. :/

[Silver_Wolf_Kitty]

Be careful and don't let yourself be alone with him. Some boys at that age will do anything to get what they want. Have you told him you aren't interested right now? You should so he gets the hint that you aren't interested right now.