09-01-2013, 01:51 PM
My mother doesn't seem to realize that right now is a very crucial to defining the rest of her life. If any of you read this and think I'm going to hard on her, I really don't care.
As I've said before, she's sick and staying at my nana's for the summer. Well, she called my dad the other day and said that she doesn't think she'll be coming home because she thinks we don't care about her. She's feeling well enough to come home, but she wants to stay there.
Now, see, years ago we got a dog. Correction, my NANA bought a dog for MY MOM. My dad never wanted the dog and actually made them take him back to where they got him. Less than a week later, she went back and picked him back up again, bringing the dog home via taxi. My dad was P*SSED. He did NOT want a dog. Once Rocco grew into an adult dog, she said she couldn't walk him because he was "too strong" and she couldn't control him. Rocco has since grown very attached to my dad, since he's been his primary "caregiver".
However, with school starting, on Wednesdays and Thursdays Rocco will have to be alone for 6 to 8 hours - before my mom left, she was home with him all day (since she's unemployed). My dad doesn't think this is fair to Rocco, and wants my mother to take him - Rocco is HER dog, after all. My nana lives in a house with a decent sized backyard, so it's not as though he'd be trapped inside an apartment. If she doesn't agree to take him in, then my dad thinks we might have to give him away (I could possibly talk him out of this, since I'm quite persuasive).
I love my dog. I would be devastated if my mother's lack of responsibility caused Rocco to need to be given away. Not only that, but:
If she decides she doesn't want to come home, that would be the final straw. In my opinion, it would mean that she doesn't want to try and fix her relationship with her children or her husband. It would mean that she doesn't want to be a mother or a wife. Her relationship with my dad has been mostly platonic (he cares about her, but they haven't been much of a 'couple' for many years). Her relationship with my younger brother is hanging by a thread (he didn't see her when she was sick in the hospital, he hasn't had a conversation with her over the phone the whole time she's bee gone, and he said flat out that he 'just doesn't care anymore'). Her relationship with me... well, that's severely fractured as well (although I do try and be as supportive and caring as I can, I understand my brother's sentiments). If she stays, it is obvious that she does not plan on being a mother to my brother or myself, and I will keep future communications to a minimum.
I understand she's mentally unwell. I know what that's like. But if she stays and doesn't take Rocco, I will lose any shred of respect I had for that woman and I will never forgive her. On the other hand, if she comes home and tries hard to get healthy and be involved with my life again, I will be incredibly proud of her. Middle ground, she stays there and takes Rocco, while continuing to call to say hello a couple times a week. My feelings for her won't improve if that happens, but at least I won't resent her. >_>