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Default The Chosen: Fiction - 02-21-2013, 09:32 PM

I'm currently writing a story for my English class. Minimum is 10 pages, doubled space (thank the good Lord) and I will eventually have to make a playlist that goes along with the story. Here's the first 4 chapters. I know it's a little lengthy, but any CC's and writing tips are GREATLY appreciated!


Chapter 1
The wind stirred the long grass and it tickled my legs. My long black hair whipped around my face, but I pushed it aside. I looked up to see a large white crystal sitting in idle above an icy mountain. I started running towards it, up the steep mountain side. I reached the top and admired the jewel, but it began to to glow. A distant voice called out to me,"You are chosen." The crystal grew brighter as the voice grew more intense. The mountain started to shake and crumble. It rocked my feet and I fell back into a never ending pit.

I bolted awake. I looked around my small shabby room. "It was just another dream," I told myself. I got up and made my bed and then headed to the kitchen. "Leo and I are heading out to work," my father said. They were about to step out of the door when my mother caught them. "Not before you eat something. Here take a few pieces of bread." She handed them their food and they stepped outside.
"Good morning mother," I said taking a seat at the table. "Mornin' Kiara. Did you sleep well?"
"I had another dream."
"Not again," replied mother,"Was there anything different about it this time?"
I sighed. "No. It was exactly the same." I paused for a moment. "I just don't understand why I keep dreaming this."
My mother looked worried, but she quickly changed her mood. "Well, don't worry about it now. Have some breakfast."
I took a piece of bread and looked in the fridge. I asked,"Do we have any milk?"
"No. I sent James out to get some, but he hasn't come back yet," replied mother.
I grabbed a glass of water and scarfed down the bread. I headed back to my room and got dressed. Afterwards, I rushed back to the kitchen and kissed my mother on the cheek.
"I'm going out to see Marsy. I'll be back later."
"Alright dear, be back for lunch!" mother yelled as I closed the front door behind me.

A mild breeze hit my face as I started walking down the dirt street. Looking around I noticed the houses seemed even shabbier than before. Some windows were boarded shut and the homes looked empty. I thought back to the time when Overlord Xavaster first took control of the town. I shuddered at the thought. The city of Lavender used to be so lively. Everyone was happy and no one had a care in the world....until that day. Xavaster showed up and he took control and tore the city into ruins. With his magic powers, no one could stop him. His high taxes have sent many into debt with no way of escaping it. Sometimes he has his minions come and take innocent souls off the streets and changes them into hybrids! I shook my head in disgust and kept walking. I finally made it to the town square and found my friend at the Lavender Tree.
The Lavender Tree is the only tree that has bloomed since Xavaster's reign. It actually seems to grow bigger and brighter each year. It's very precious to Lavender City. I'm surprised Xavaster hasn't cut it down yet.
My friend Marsy was sitting under it holding a photograph. I headed over and sat down next to her.
"Hi Marsy. What cha' got there?"
"Hello Kiara. I'm just looking at an old picture."
She handed me it. It was an old photo of her and I when we were little. We were running around the Lavender Tree playing a game of tag. We were so happy back then...
"It sure has been a while since this was taken," I told her.
"Yeah, a lot of things have changed since then," she said.
At that moment two of Xavaster's minions came rolling into the square. As they walked, they bumped into people and even pushed some down. A homeless man was nearby and they stopped near his feet.
"Daniel Fink?" said one of the ugly minions.
"Yes?" replied the man.
"You have fallen behind in your taxes and are ordered to be seen by the Dark Overlord Xavaster."
The minions tackled him and began to restrain him.
"Help me! Somebody please help!" shouted the man as the creatures cuffed him and took him away.
"Not again," Marsy said.
I looked with hatred at the creatures. "Somebody has to do something!" I stood up with my fist clenched and headed towards them.

Chapter 2
All of sudden, a force pulled me back. I looked behind me to find Marsy tugging on my arm.
"Let me go Marsy," I demanded.
"Kiara, there's nothing you can do about it. They might even take you too," my friend said in her most serious voice.
I looked back to the man. He was nearly out the square, but I could still hear him pleading for his life. People turned away from him trying not to notice.
"Fine!" I stormed back under the tree and grumbled.
"I just wish there was something that I....anyone could do!" I cried to Marsy in vain. I slid down and hung my head in shame.
"I'm sorry Kiara..." Marsy said in a helpless voice.
James came around the corner and saw Marsy and me. He ran over to us. "What was all the commotion?" he asked.
"Another person was taken to Xavaster by the minions," replied Marsy.
"Oh...why don't we go on home then Kiara. I have something to show you." I sat up and we said out goodbyes to Marsy. We ran home and I went to James's room. He came in shortly and closed the door. "Okay so you wanna know why it was taking me so long to get milk?"
"Um I guess so. Why?" I asked.
"Well on my way to the market there was a strange man in the street. He stopped me and gave me this." James pulled out a map.
"James, don't you know not to talk to strangers?" I replied.
"Yes I know, but he told me to give it to you."
I stared in shock. "What?" I took the map from him and took a long look at it. The map showed a route to the Southern part of Callista where it's really cold. In the corner on the top it said, "For the Chosen."
I was speechless. "D..D...Did the man say anything else?" I asked stuttering.
"Nothing else. I tried to find him after I got the milk, but he disappeared," my brother said looking at me strangely.
"In my dream there's always a voice that says I have to help the chosen."
James looked at me. "Well...I guess you better start packing!"
"Packing! What do mean packing?" I shouted in confusion.
"Kiara, can't you see? That dude knew you were the "chosen". You have to follow this map and find out where it leads to!" my bother shouted back with excitement.
My head was spinning with confusion. Could this person really know my destiny? "James...g..g..give me a minute," I said to him as I left and went to my room.
I looked down at the map. Should I do this? How did this guy know about my dreams? So many questions were floating around in my head. I shut my eyes and tried to make some since of it. Soon I fell asleep.
A big wide open field stretched for miles. The Lavender Tree was about 30 feet in front of me. I ran towards it and found an old man lying beneath it. "Hello?" I asked.
"I thought you would never come," the old man looked up at me.
"Who are you?"
"That is not important. What is though, is that you must come to South Callista That is the only way to learn." the strange old man replied.
"What's in South Callista? Why am I chosen?"
He said," There you will train. You will learn great powers to help your people."
"Wait! To help my people? How?!" I was starting to get frusterated.
He just stared at me at me. "You'll find that out when the time comes."
I woke up and stared at the ceiling. That was no ordinary dream. I haven't had a dream like that before, and with recent events, it seemed highly possible that it could be true. The map sat in idle next to my side. I picked it up and studied it. If I calculated correctly, it would take a 4 day journey to get to South Callista, and I would need some warm clothes. It gets pretty cold down there.
James slowly opened my door and peeked inside. "Any thoughts on what to do Kiara?" he asked me.
"I've been thinking...I'm gonna do it!" I said in a confident tone.



Last edited by eros : 02-22-2013 at 08:03 PM.
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