08-10-2012, 03:07 PM
I feel like sharing this...
Remember how I was gone from here for a year? During that time, I was going through a major bipolar episode. When I left, or right before, I was going through a manic episode - very agitated, hyper, loud, wild... which is why I got angry and left the way I did. Maybe a month after, I went into a depressive low for a much longer period than I'm used to (between 4 and 6 months, when they usually last up to a month for me). I started turning to drugs and alcohol, instead of just trying to stay on my meds and hope for the best. Obviously, that didn't work out for me.
Getting married helped a little. I felt like someone actually cared about me. I started taking my medication again and felt like things were much better. I still have highs/lows sometimes though, so I might have to go get stronger meds. =/
I have so many mental problems that I'm almost afraid to have children. Mental illnesses run in my mum's family (she suffered from major depression, and she says my nana has had issues in the past as well - makes sense, since mental disorders appear to be somewhat hereditary), and I'm scared to pass it on to my kids. Going through what I have as a kid with my mother, and going through my own problems... I don't want my future children to go through it.