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Default Miss TDP Mary Sue Round 1 {Dollmakers} - Scores And Critique - 06-05-2012, 03:14 PM

Eros.

Scores: Profile - 10/10. Doll - 7/10.

Critique - Profile.

This is just so utterly ridiculous, so self serving, just so totally Mary Sue! Pointless, flowerly description of her looks, stupidly long name and of course, possessing of a special skill that only the Mary Sue can do. This profile ticks every single box and is just revoltingly perfect. I especially love the way she manages to persuade Ariel out of her love for a human and fixes him up with her brother instead. XD Just absolutely perfect, so full marks.

This- this was what I was looking for when I'd heard this contest was rebooted!

The name? Ridiculous.

The description? Overly superfluous with the hair, the eyes, the skin and especially that tail! It is a fun twist on the typical Sparklypoo Sue. The personality is expectedly bland, and the powers mercifully short.

The bio is a riot! My eyes swam reading it! The needless inclusion of a sea-fairy, as though such a thing existed, was perfect; she has the Sleeping Beauty christening without the negative side-effects. This little tidbit came almost out of nowhere with a wham and made it stand out as a Suefic.

And, of course, if she's in the Little Mermaid tale, she has to be Ariel's best friend, the best friend that is better than her and wiser than her but is too kind to brag about it.

There are some minor spelling issues, but it does not at all detract from the tale. Mind you now, I expect this sort of brilliance in the next round, so watch out!


Critique - Doll.


I love the vacuous expression on her face, and the ever so lovely beautiful hair and tail. However, it would have been nice to see some accessories on the doll along with a background perhaps. Maybe in the next round? Anyway, this is a lovely doll and I look forward to seeing more of your Sue in the next round.

This doll fits the description perfectly, but, given how flowery the written part was, I expected more in the way of props and background. If you don't know how to get such things in, it's easy, just make sure you credit the maker. If, like me, you think dolls look better on actual pixellated backgrounds, these sites ([1], [2]) have wonderful room-makers with pixellated scene backgrounds easily saved for personal use; just credit them. Props can be found on most doll-maker sites, including these.

If you don't have a program of your own to edit in, gimp is a free image-editing program that can do more then MSpaint
.




Last edited by Miranda_ : 06-05-2012 at 03:16 PM.
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