07-22-2011, 10:56 AM
More of a sad post...I shouldn't be bothered by people unfriending me, but it's happened three times (that I know of), and two of them came from out of nowhere. I think it would bug me less if it didn't happen so much. I hate all those statuses that say "If you can see this, congrats, you made the cut" because I know how hurtful it is to not make the cut with someone you thought you were friends with, and I could never be that mean to anyone, I just don't have it in me, but apparently I'm annoying and there must be something wrong with me because I can't interact with my peers to save my life, and apparently that's translating over to the online world, which is the only place I can be remotely sure of myself (save performing) and why am I such a failure at making and keeping friends? How the heck am I supposed to be an adult when I can't even maintain friendships? What is wrong with me? (and I'm literally crying as I post this; it's very upsetting. I just don't know why it is or what it is that I'm *****ing up and it's making me very distraught because I just want to be included but I'm too afraid to do anything about it cause I don't think people want me around them because I'm apparently some kind of pariah and it's just very sad.)
Heh, I feel/sound like Fluttershy: trying to speak up, but never being loud enough for anyone to actually hear.