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Miranda_ (Offline)
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Default 07-10-2011, 07:27 PM


The original and worst; Purity!Sue is perfect in every way. She has curves in all the right places, long, beautifully kept hair, is good, kind to animals and clever in everything. Men fall at her feet and women are jealous of her beauty and good qualities. Meeting a Purity!Sue has the effect on most sane people similar to eating an entire jar of golden syrup in one go.


Usually either a good witch, a fairy, or a mermaid (or sometimes all three), magic runs thru this Sue's veins. She has great, often "elemental" powers, which she wields unpredictably. She may be disguised as a human girl, but more typically appears in her true form, without explanation. She can often change at will, for example, a mermaid who inexplicably swaps her tail for legs to go on land or a fairy who can grow to normal size.


This Sue likes to show plenty of leg and cleavage and is extremely wanten in her ways. She will sleep with every single male canon character who can't run away fast enough, and will ruthlessly cut down any female canon who she sees as getting in her way. Strangely enough, Sl*t!Sue will never catch any unpleasant diseases as a result of her promiscuity, and any pregnancies will be wanted and will ensure that the man in question propose marriage.


S. tolkienii is, by her own evidence, a member of the Elvish races of Middle-Earth, as detailed by J. R. R. Tolkien. There is apparently a brisk interdimensional business in illegal adoptions, for a large number of these Sues have been raised on modern Earth by human parents. The average Elven Sue is eerily beautiful, adept at archery, telepathic, and given to scolding canon characters, particularly human ones. Often falls in love with Legolas or Aragorn, but never Gimli.

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