- I'm a Healer.
A Nurse. A Medic. In other words... I'm a scrapegoat for the crew.
A little harsh, but it sounds much better than it really is, trust me.
- I'm depressed about it sometimes.
Should something go wrong, should someone become dazed, should we get wiped - there is always one person who will, with an attitude, say a sentence similiar to the following:
"omfg noob healer"
And it adds to my misery, it really does. I suppose that the superficial world today really has no depth to their thoughts, for they can't simply wrap their minds around the idea that perhaps I am lagging. Perhaps I was AFK for a valid reason.
Or perhaps we didn't die because of me, but rather because half of the crew is leeching.
It's my fault.
Because I'm the healer.
- I'm in need of a break.
By now, I've become accustomed to it. Life continues, despite the downs, and I know I'll never quit my job because, quite frankly, it fills me with pride to know that I was a large part of the crew if we actually do end up defeating the final boss. Not only this, but my whole career so far has been that of a healer. I'm not that bad of one, despite what some say.
Yet sometimes I want to take a vacation from it all, you know? But being expendable as we are, there's no salary. I obtain gold from the decimation of monsters, but not near enough to take a break somewhere nice. No matter what map I go to - the subtle beginner's Village Greens, the golden sand of the Beach, the lake of Ba'asken, the peaceful Zen Gardens, there are people who need help.
But then I saw Bucaneer Boardwalk.
- I'm wishing, now, for once, for a simple bit of charity towards me, rather than others.
I want to go there. I've seen the commercials; I've seen the construction; I've heard the stories.
If I could go, just me, by myself, I'd lay my rings away in my inventory. Be 1.0 again. Forget about healing for a day, and cross the gate into a place most haven't been. There's only a few anchor bugs surrounding the place; nothing I can't run from. Considering the price, I already assume that it's not overpopulated by people. I won't have to heal! I won't have to buff! I won't have to defibillirate anyone. I'd lay there, in the sand, swirling my hand in the aquamarine water, and enjoy the contrast between the warmth of the sun and the icy coolness of the liquid. Maybe people will stare at me as they walk past. Who knows? Who cares?
But after, I'd swim around and visit the Ferry - the Ship - but last, I'd go onto the Ferris Wheel.
I've never been on a Ferris Wheel before.
I wonder what it's like.
I've walked to the entrance and stood there, with the smiling ticketmaster waving at me; it's fake, a lie, but it always makes me feel slightly better about myself to know that someone, anyone, will smile at me. But in the end, I always walk away dejectedly knowing I don't have the simple slip of paper which will take me away from this painful existence.
I'll never be able to go.