12-13-2010, 03:35 PM
Lovie's and Ness's critique and scores is here, cuz of that darn character limit! XD
Doll: 8/10 Drabble: 10/10
My first thought when looking at this doll was "mermaid? Where did that come from?", so thank god I read your story first to find out. I like how you have kept up with the whole theme of pure gold in this doll and the story. The background, her hair, and the fin are beautifully done, however her butt is looking a little square and strangely bulgy at that. Sneaky with the butterfly top detail, I almost didn't catch it, and using her body for the antennas, so amusing! Also, as a generally helpful tip, think of mermaids as not having knees. Instead, draw their fins smoothly without the knee bend because it would be awful to have a joint there for mermaids--imagine the swimming issues!
One word: overdone. Just like a Sue deserves. I couldn't help but laugh all through it. The perfection of Radiance even in the most absurd of circumstances, the rainbow breaking apart that storm behind her, everything bowing to her, it was just too much. The real kicker was her mother giving up the throne for her because her daughter was more powerful, what an interesting notion that she held the throne just for the day her perfect daughter became more perfect through love!
At first, I wondered what the heck was with the mermaid; then I read the drabble. XD This doll is very nicely shaded, and her hair just looks so soft. And of course, no Sue would be complete without the vapid beauty queen smile!
This was truly vomit enducing; a perfect Mary Sue drabble. Overdone, so much self praise and purple prose, and of course, everyone loves her even her worst enemy... who she of course forgives, cuz she's just that wonderful. XD
Doll: 6/10 Drabble: 6/10
Your doll is very nicely detailed. The belt, the stocking swirls, remembering the often forgotten quiver, its clear you were very thorough in planning the look of this doll. You still need to work on palettes and shading skirts because there is way too much usage of your dark colours. Most of your skirt should be medium shades. Also, the shaping of the top needs work. You probably would've been better off keeping with a simple curved neckline since the base stance isn't too great for doing more intricate necklines. Overall, you have been improving a lot with your skills!
Way to hit a big Sue characteristic by including the completely out there histories of how she obtained her outfit, as well as their special properties. Way to steal canon too for her quiver! You had me laughing at Gandalf tossing that limb that hit him so nonchalantly, as if this was a normal occurence in the life of Gandalf. I was concerned about the lack of focus strictly upon the Sue. You gave a lot of time to the other characters and the story would've benefitted from more connections to herself in the middle. The "death" at the end really won me over--only a Sue would be upset about a man not caring about her hair and then basically forget it all in an instant. As a side note, I found the formatting and style a bit difficult to follow. The story would've benefitted from a good editing to check the flow.
I love this doll very much; so much attention to every last little detail, and the hair is fantastic. Especially since this is obviously a very difficult base to work with. My only criticism is that the shading looks a little weird; maybe use a different pallette next time? But anyway, this is a Suedoll in the very frightening flesh.
I know there was a rush to get this in before the deadline; and so there wasn't the editing and proofreading this drabble needed. However, despite that, this is a very ridiculous Sue story; the ending is pure Sue. There needs to be a bit less focus on the other characters; after all, who is more important than the Sue in a story? XD
Last edited by Miranda_ : 12-13-2010 at 03:40 PM.