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Cheshire1996 (Offline)
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Default 10-23-2010, 11:23 PM


Name: Emerald Silverheart Demeter Ravenwing Voldermort
Age: 15 years old, however she often appears older due to her stunning looks and killer wardrobe.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Drabble:
Emerald Silverheart Demeter Ravenwing Voldermort ran through the forest, her feet pounded on the floor as she ran. But in her heart she knew that no matter how hard she tried to move faster she would too late. And as she reached the clearing she was.
He lay on the ground, motionless, alone in the clearing. Emerald didn't try to hide her tears as she fell down on her knees next to her beloved Seth. Her hair fell down her back in almost magical black waves much like a calm, rolling ocean at night, and her eyes shone as though all the stars in the sky were contained inside them. Her skin was pale and looked pearly white under the moonlight. She was his fallen angel, she would always be. His beautiful fallen angel. He looked up at her and Emerald could see he was crying too.
"Sing me a song," he turned his head to look at her.
Emerlad sang, her eyes closed, her voice lifting. The sound was more beautiful than the sound of a nightingale, a sound that could calm even the roughest of seas, soften the hardest of hearts and summon the kindest of feeling in someone who had long forgotten was caring and kindness really was. She looked beautiful, the moon outlining her hair, like a halo of silver light, her eyes were full of sorrow, for what might have been and her tears were like diamonds, sparkling and glinting as they fell to the ground. She finished the song and turned back to face him.
"Don't die," she pleaded quietly, her voice was soft and it lilted slightly in the night air.
"It's not my choice to make," he smiled back, "I'll love you no matter what happens, promise me you'll do the same, my angel," he gave her one last smile before his eyes closed, forever.
"I'll love you too," Emerald whispered, although he couldn't hear her anymore. His angel threw back her head and gazed up at the stars. She would enver stop loving him, from now on she would never love anyone else, never again.
And without glancing back Emerald left the clearing.

Since then Emerlad has dated many other big names around Hogwarts, Harry, Draco...the list continues. However she has never loved anyone as much as she loved Seth. Since his death Emerlad's heart has frozen, she can longer love. She's still his fallen angel, like she promised, and she will be forever.

Doll: 6/10. Drabble: 8/10.

Doll Critique.
Again, like last time, the hair looks incredibly weird. Also, the shading on the boots is incredibly square. and there also seems to be no shading on her top. However, I like her jaggy fishnets.

Drabble Critique.
The drabble is absolutely stereotypical of a Sue. Lost love, going on to date other men though is a nice twist to what I usually see. My only annoyance is that you don't really elaborate on who he is or why he's dead.

Doll Critique.
The hair still could use some work; it needs to be stranded a bit better as the strands are all over the place rather than being vertical. A different pallette could be used for the top, as there is shading there, but it doesn't really show up very well. But the fishnets are very good, and I like her spiked wrist and ankle bands.

Drabble Critique.

Definitely a Twagic!Sue, all boohoos and lost love, tho with the Sue proclaiming her ever lasting love for her lost one and still dating other guys; nice touch. However, you've left out quite a bit of the story. It would have been nice to see the Gary Stu's backstory, with perhaps a horribly detailed part about his death and the Sue's depression over the death, making it all about her.




Last edited by Miranda_ : 11-03-2010 at 11:25 AM.
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