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Miranda_ (Offline)
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Default 10-20-2010, 06:31 PM

Your story has to be about the set text in Kitty's post.

The house was vacant for 2 years, then in 1880 a family known as Bentley moved in. Their daughter was engaged to an army officer called Kenfield, and they were about to marry. There was a party at the house due to the forth coming wedding there were lots of guests. During the early evening loud screams were heard from the daughters room. Mr Bentley his wife and daughter and Kenfield found the servant in a near catatonic state in the bedroom, she was paralyzed with fear and unable to speak. She died in the hospital the next day after muttering that she had seen "something horrible" in the room.

Capt. Kenfield insisted on staying in the room over night, despite his fiancee's pleas. He set a bell up and promised that he would ring the bell if he saw anything he also had a loaded pistol at his side. It was in the early hours of the morning when frantic sounds of bell ringing filled the house, followed by a loud gunshot. When the family got to the room the found Kenfeild lying on the floor, convulsing in terror, just as the servant had, his eyes were fixed on a corner of the room. The pistol was still clutched in his hand, there was a bullet hole in the corner of the room that was staring at. His words were garbled and gibberish. Kenfeild recovered, but he was never his old self again - and was never able to speak of what he saw in that room.
Sorry, but your story doesn't pass muster. You haven't even mentioned Berkley Square in your text, and in any case, a ghost bird isn't part of the hauntings at all. Also, I think your story is far too short.

1. A short story is defined here as having a minimum of 4-5 paragraphs, but no longer than two post lengths (about 20,000 characters).
2. You must write about this haunting. That is your only limit for topic. You cannot write about unicorns, other hauntings, or how marvelous your pink hair extensions are.
3. Post your entries in this topic.
You'll have to edit your entry so it fits the restrictions before it can be accepted.

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