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Aussiemum777 (Offline)
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Posts: 534
Join Date: Nov 2006
Rating: 6 Votes / 4.83 Average
Default 10-20-2010, 07:25 AM

Name: Sikuma Rei Ayame Hina Shou Midori
Age: Immature 13
Fandom: Angel Sanctuary
Sikuma Rei Ayame Hina Shou Midori is very proud of her latest accomplishment, she has earned her 2nd wing so she decides to strut off and show it off to all the others and possibly make them insanely jealous, although everything seems to be going her way her thoughts are always on the love of her life “Alexiel”, Laying there in the warm sunlight she fantasises that one day they will be together…

Rumours and whispers around the angel sanctuary were that there is to be a fencing competition and it is to be held TODAY, The winner will have the opportunity to date the beautiful Arch angel Alexiel, Sikuma's eyes popped out of their sockets and then popped back in again as she realised that a notice clearly stated that it is to be for Males only, being female and having the most awesome sword skills that one could only ever dream of having, she knew she could win this, she often played with other swords, a sabre, she often practiced with as a young child.

Sikuma decided that she would participate in this competition, she didn’t care if she was looked down upon and was very determined to put her foot down on s.exual discrimination once and for all, with that as her main objective, and of course having her eye on the ultimate prize, she sets off to prepare for the comp.
Sikuma slipped on her smexxi fencing outfit, having a boyish figure no body noticed that she was a girl so she strode into the arena with her sabre, and Introduced herself as “The Masked Avenger” she was ready to do battle.

Rd 1 Sikuma’s first opponent is “Michael” who has a strong hatred for woman, Sikuma hated Michael with a vengeance so with a quick “Attack au fer”and timely derobement her opponent lay quivering on the ground in a pool of blood.

Rd 2 Sikuma prepares to battle her second opponent "Raphael” who despises and hates woman also, Sikuma eyes him surreptitiously for oh about…..30 seconds, he stood no chance as Sikuma jumped over to his side, flashed him a glimpse of what she had underneath her armour and with a flying Riposte which landed him his final Corps de corps.....He lay very still muttering some unintelligible gibberish, he then fell silent.

Rd 3 Sikuma prepares to end the life of “Uriel” who had previously sentenced Alexiel to her gruesome punishment, yes, he deserves what he is about to get.
Uriel lunges towards Sikuma and the tip of his blade just skims Sikuma's left thigh, seeing the gash and seeing red Sikuma smiles at him with glee and quotes "Tis but a flesh wound", I've had worse, with that and a very timely “Coupe de lance” she then sent her opponent reeling from her three pronged, Prise de Fer whip over manoeuvre which kills him instantly.

Sikuma Rei Ayame Hina Shou Midori wins!....of course, she knew she would. The crowd cheers for the masked avenger who clearly deserved to win and who has them very intrigued indeed.
With that Sikuma walks over to the grand stand, with her head held high she looks over to where Alexiel sits waiting to meet her victor , she removes her mask and all is revealed, the crowd grew silent, you could feel the tension as Sikuma declared to all that she is the winner, unsure of what the reaction will be from Alexiel, Sikuma waits nervously as Alexiel stands up in all her radiant glory, puffs out her wings and walks over to her, she takes her hand and kisses her on the brow…..they walk to the seven great pillars to sit and talk, The old ways are gone and a new era begins.

Sikuma Rei Ayame Hina Shou Midori has her victory and that all she needs.
(p.s If there are any mistakes, I dont care!..I'm tired)

Doll: 9/10. Drabble: 7/10.

Doll Critique.

The doll is almost perfect, but why is her halo all the way down there? It's bothering me for some reason and pulls my eyes away from the angels.

Drabble Critique.
... Where's the romance? All I see is that the competition is the opportunity for a date, and that it's males only because the date is with a woman, and then at the end all they do is talk.
She also wears a smexxi fencing outfit, but is still seen as a man.
Maybe I'm just not following the story well, here.

Doll Critique.
I love this doll, especially the pink and black colour scheme and the way that the two angels seem to match with each other. The twu luv's hair is wonderful, so glossy looking. I'm too wondering a bit about the halo tho; it seems a strange place for it to be.

Drabble Critique.
Very well written and incredibly detailed, along with some unnecessary paragraphs and the way that the Sue just has to beat everyone easily. I would like a lot more romance tho in the drabble; there doesn't seem to be nearly enough, considering that this round is about the Sue in love

Last edited by Miranda_ : 11-03-2010 at 11:11 AM.
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