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Always_And_Forever_MeGeek (Offline)
Senior Member
Shuni
 
Posts: 142
Join Date: Dec 2009
Zodiac Sign: Taurus
Rating: 1 Votes / 5.00 Average
Default 10-12-2010, 08:56 PM

Name: Elizabeth Grace Bethany Juno Fauna
Age:
12
Fandom: Labyrinth
Drabble:
Elizabeth Grace Bethany Juno Fauna sat on a bench, looking into one of her crystals. It was a nice day and everything seemed normal. The sky was blue the sun was incredibly bright and birds were singing just for her of course. However something caught her eye in the sphere. Tucking away the crystal she took to the air her two platinum blond pigtails flapping behind her in the wind, but didn’t mess them or her dress up. Eventually she saw what she was looking for. A boy of 14 hovered in the air. He had black hair that fell into his lava red eyes and pale white skin. He grinned at her, revealing two pointed teeth. “Hello darling.” He purred circling her seductively.
“Hi. Could you please leave?” She sung in her melodious voice to him.
“But why.” He whispered in her ear. At that moment Elizabeth Grace Bethany Juno Fauna knew she loved him.
“On second thought, don’t leave me.” She sung sweetly, turning to face him. Her mismatched eyes meeting his calmly.
“Wouldn’t dream of it princess.” The vampire purred, taking each other’s hands, they flew away.




Doll: 6/10. Drabble: 4/10.

Doll Critique.
Very boring.
The only real stand-outs are the fact that he's a vampire and clearly gawffic, and she's dressed like a peasant with four glass balls floating next to her.

Drabble Critique.
Again, boring.
Vampires are not that unique anymore as they've hit mainstream status.

Doll Critique.
This doll is fairly well made; I do like the dress and the headband of the Sue, but there isn't really much to it apart from that. The background is rather dull, and there's no indication that there's anything much between the Sue and her twu luv.

Drabble Critique.
Fits the criteria, however it could have been a lot longer and more detailed. As I stated, a drabble that was longer than 100 words and richly detailed would win over the bare minimum, which is all this is. There's no purple prose or unnecessary description, and we don't really know much about the Gary Stu, cept that he's a vampire. This could have been so much more than what it is, given the subject matter.




image: from google
edit: by me

Last edited by Miranda_ : 11-03-2010 at 10:58 AM.
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