View Single Post
(#4 (permalink))
Miranda_'s Avatar
Miranda_ (Offline)
Forums Administrator
Site Admin
Posts: 151,388
Join Date: Dec 2004
Rating: 46 Votes / 5.00 Average
Default 08-01-2010, 03:32 PM

Ooc: Stick Figure, your character is a Mary Sue; you need to give her some believable faults to balance her out, like laziness, spite, greed etc; things that could make her unlikeable. What you've listed only really counts as one; nosy is a fault. You need another one, as being naive isn't a fault as such.

Draven Larson.
Age: 16.
Human/Super Human: Super human.
Powers and Abilities: Enhanced senses, super healing factor, retractable claws.
Appearance: Tall, with long, shaggy blonde hair and green eyes. Is lean but muscled, wears jeans and a leather jacket with Dr Marten boots.
Personality: Draven has a terrible temper and is prone to fits of rage that he could control if he tried, but rarely does. He is a loner, and finds it very difficult to work with other people. He is also very selfish, as well as contemptous of anyone who's beliefs don't mirror his.
Bio: Draven lives with his mother and stepfather in a small house near an apartment building. His stepfather manages the apartment, and he and Draven have never gotten on. They have clashes, which often end with Draven's stepfather locking him in the basement, while his mother stands by and does nothing. Draven resents both his parents; his mother for letting his stepfather knock him around and his father for leaving, but he hates his stepfather. He now spends most of his time hanging around the arcades, bunking off school and occasionally bullying other teenagers and taking their money.


Draven moodily kicked at the sidewalk as he leant against a wall. He took his cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one up, all the time looking about him to see if there was anyone nearby he could take out his anger on. Draven had had a lot of anger recently; he'd had about as much of his life as he could take. That wasn't the only thing that was happening, tho.

Draven thought back to the previous nights; he'd gone out as usual after dark, and had thought that the moon seemed a lot bigger, as did the stars. He could smell the scents of coffee, cigarette smoke and other scents very strongly, as tho the producers of said scents were standing next to him. Also, there was the fact that his stepfather had beaten him up this morning and as he stood against the wall, he knew full well that all the bruises and knocks had completely disappeared.

Name: Kim Marshal
Age: 17
Human/Super Human: Super human
Powers and Abilities: Power to control the forces of nature
Appearance: Short black hair dyed purple at the front, average height and build, brown eyes. Kim likes to dress up, rather than just slob around in jeans.
Personality: Kim has a tendency to be vain about her appearence, and likes to poke fun at people. She can in fact be very cruel sometimes, and has a very twisted sense of humour. Kim is however loyal to those she considers her friends, and will always defend them to the last.
Bio: Up til now, Kim's life has been very blah by her standards. She lives with her mother in the heart of the city, and has lived there all her life. She often longs for more excitement, and would love to be an actress or singer when she's older. Her mother on the other hand insists that Kim complete her studies so that she has something to fall back on if her dreams don't work out.


Kim sat down on a bench at the side of the bustling street and pulled out a magazine. She flipped the pages and sighed theatrically. She felt as tho she was being stifled from boredom, and the weather was not helping her mood in the slightest. The sky was thick with cloud; grey days always made Kim feel worse. She looked up briefly at the sky, longing for sun as she absently turned the page of her magazine.

That's when it happened. Miraculously, all the clouds immediately faded away from the sky and the sun shone down. Kim looked incrediously at the sky again; there was not a cloud to be seen. She smiled, and put her sunglasses on as the sunshine was now very bright, and continued to read her magazine.

Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!