Originally Posted by spirit_queen
I had a friend like that, but it wasn't a douchey boyf who made her that way. She told me that I was a terrible artist and compared me to her friend, who was pretty good himself (he was a nice kid and had noting to do with our dispute). And, one day, during break, she started whcaking me with her purse because she thought it was FUNNY.
What did I do? Kicker her in the ankle. She then claimed that I broke it, which I clearly did NOT because she could walk back to class. Unfortunately, I was stuck working with her for a project, and so had to call her that night. She kept going on about how she had to hobble over to the phone and that she went to the hospital for an x-ray. PUH-LEASE!
Eventually, we drifted apart and I got over it. It's been six years since then, and she has matured some, but not enough. I will speak to her politely and I don't begrudge her any longer, but I refuse to let her be my friend.
Well, here's the kicker, it wasn't even her boyfriend. Someone who was a friend with both of us started to date him after I left and the person who contacted me decided to stick with her even though she never once even tried to find out what happened to me.
That story actually helped me think it through a bit. I ended up deciding that if she wants to make amends, she will have to make the effort. When we fought, I never once said anything bad about her(I only told her not to pass messages from my ex and that continuing to do so would force me to call the police on my ex for harassment, which was reasonable considering the hell he had put me through only months before) and she turned around and called me a cold *****. I didn't call her names, I didn't try to argue with her, I just told her to stop talking to me if it made her happy. If she wants to speak to me, I will be polite, but I'm not going to make any further effort without any sign that she is sorry for the way she treated me(anyways, she re-peeved me with a statement of "well, I decided protecting my friend was more important than being friends with him[my ex]" which is like a slap to the face since she wouldn't do the same for me at the time). I no longer feel any loss, but she will have to try if she wants to be anything more than polite acquaintances anytime soon.
Also, its not like our relationship wasn't filled with drama to begin with. I think I've had the most calming few months of my life since we stopped talking and I know inside I'm not ready yet to go into any sort of discussion about my ex or the year after anytime soon with her(in fact, I've only discussed it with Jay and a handful of friends). She never wanted to hear it and I respected her wishes. Now that she wants to talk, I've decided I'm not interested in that past anymore or discussing it with her. The friends that matter know what happened, some the full story, most to a lesser extent, and were willing to listen when I was still broken, which is the important part. They knew I was, and still am, hurting inside and were ready to do anything to fix it, including beating my ex to a pulp. She lost out when she choose instead to completely toss a friendship in favor of him and she learned the hard way that I was right about him, even if she won't admit anything more than that.