10-26-2009, 06:01 PM
Hmm. I'm tan, or at least we can say that against most people. ^^
And it's really noticeable if I start waving my arms around, but most of the time I'm not comfortable wearing T-shirts anyway, seeing as I'm so fat, although lately since it's been...two years? they're starting to fade quite a bit, so it's easier to wear them, although it's cold so there's no reason to wear anything short anyway.
....I'm not sure whether I'm comfortable admitting this, but I might as well tell someone <.<' I admit that I don't like...hurt myself to the extent of drawing blood anymore, but when I get frustrated with myself I rake my nails across my skin, just to feel the pain x.x'
It paralyzes me for a few moments, and that's all I need to feel better; after that I just savour it, and I don't do it twice in a row, or I might start drawing blood if I go over it multiple times, which I don't mind doing, but it shows when I wear shirts, so.... I don't know why, but this is very effective and I don't do it a lot - if I wanted to stop I think I could.
It's just a very helpful stress-reliever. ;__;'
Hmm another thing I do, is if I have scabs, I pick them off too - and often I take the blood, and lick it off my fingers <.<' I don't think that this is counted as self-harm because picking scabs doesn't hurt in any way and I don't do it enough times that I'm like, losing blood to that extent ^^' I sorta like the taste..? o_O Although I know that I may infect my wounds so I'm trying not to do it a lot XD It's easier to not do it when I'm not in P.E., cuz when I am, the first ten minutes are sitting down, while the P.E. teachers get ready. ~_~;
Anyway, I'm not reverting myself back to cutting. That's no good, 'specially with tattley friends like mine.
I guess that's a good thing. ^^'