08-18-2009, 09:08 PM
I used to. It started simply because I would get mad at myself, and instead of yelling into a pillow or something, I'd do that. I was getting mad at myself for very little things, like breaking a plate when doing the dishes, and then for big stuff, like losing friendships. I even blamed myself for my friend's problems. Finally, I was to a certain point where I was so fed up with myself, that I was seconds away from going downstairs to overdose. Something in me broke, though, and I texted my friend at like three in the morning, and was like, "I won't make it through the night if I don't talk to someone." We IMed for two hours about it.
Even after that, I never stopped self-harming for about a year and a half. After that time I was like, "Hey, I don't need to do this. I'm pretty, I'm glad God created me, everyone scr'ews up and I need to learn to forgive myself."
I still have urges, but never so serious as before, and now, I know how to deal with the stress and anger I put on myself. I can honestly say I love myself now.
29 years gone, but never forgotten.
5-31-48 - 9-25-80
We salute you.