06-30-2009, 10:53 PM
I had lots of very close friends when I first started experimenting with self harm. Its not like I had no friends and its similar with a lot of self harmers. Isolation does seem to play a part in it though. As I became less connected with other people due to an unhealthy relationship, I actually worsened. Part of it has to do with my reasons why I hurt myself. I was punishing myself for things I thought I was doing wrong, mainly in relationships. The fact that I felt abandoned by people I considered friends made me feel like I was failing even more at doing things right. It didn't even start because of bullying or abuse, it started because I have trouble expressing my feelings. I hate revealing my weaknesses, so instead of talking about my heartbreak over a boy, I chose to hurt myself. It slowly became something associated with my lack of worth, mostly because of the scumbags that followed that relationship.
This may not always apply though. Some people who harm themselves function completely fine and actually don't give off any signs. This is mostly because they feel they are handling their feelings on their own, which means it doesn't need to be discussed. Also, I think self harmers understand that if they reveal what they are doing, their friends will try to get them help. The fact is, we don't want help. We don't think there is a problem and, to a certain extent, I think self harm becomes an addiction.