It may not be racism, just concern. -
04-03-2009, 12:40 AM
I wasn't allowed to date african americans or asians or mexicans. There's good reason though, at least for 2 outta 3. I grew up in a REALLY bad area. The mexican gangster gangster area. There were drive-by's on my road countless times, got our house a few times too. That's why I couldn't date them, because people of that race scared the poo out of my mom indefinately. Then we moved to the city, where there were new types of gangs. Murders, robberies, muggings. That's why I wasn't allowed to date them. I had a crush on an asain kid named Fred Kim once in middle school and I asked my mom if I could date him and she said "no" that my step father wouldn't like it too much. I don't know what the reason was behind that, but I listened. I don't know that my mom is racist or anything like that. But when people look/dress/act like the people we're scared of then we both steer clear. But I guess it was never really a problem for the first two anyhow, I'm just not physically attracted to most of them. I like them gangly/dorky/pale white, lol.
My mom wasn't strict beyond reason. I had to sit at the table and do homework like you Kitty! In grade school though...then after she felt I established good homework habits it was never "mandatory" again. Even if I didn't do it a few times, my test scores kept everything steady so she didn't care. I was allowed out of the house, anywhere really...only problem was that she wasn't taking me, lol. I had to find my own rides. Boys were never an issue. She always hammered it to me that if I was 100% honest that I wouldn't have too many roadblocks. So I was. Dated a lot, had fun went out etc. Then when it came time for sex I told her. She didn't like it, not one bit, but she didn't get on to me about it. She knew that like her when she was a kid that I was going to do it anyway. So she took me to get birth control told me often to be careful/safe and I was. Never got pregnant, only ever slept with 2 guys one of which is my husband.
Your parents may have been through or witnessed a lot in their life, so even though they may seem strict or controlling, it's probably for the better. It can all depend on where you are too. Like with me and dating. I bet if I lived in safer neighborhoods then I would have been allowed to date other people, but I didn't so I wasn't allowed to. Just know that even if they are overly strict and annoying that life as a teenager is VERY short. You'll be outta there in no time, you'll see.
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