Join Date: Nov 2006
04-19-2008, 10:50 PM
I'm actually not sure of what's going on with me... I have a pretty strange life...
I'm a very social person, I have tons of friends that constantly surround me, but sometimes I feel like committing suicide. I haven't ever cut before, but have gotten close to it. I always stop myself before anything actually happens. No-one would ever possibly think of me as a girl who cuts herself.
Just yesterday, my friends sister privately asked to talk to me, and it made me feel awkward because she told me about a problem she was having with a friend -kept confidential-, and asked me what I would do, since I have tons of friends, and she has a small social circle. I didn't know what to say.
Another problem is that there's this girl, who tries to be me; and she's in my class.
She stole my best friend, I know that might sound childish, but she actually persuaded my best friend into ditching me, and hanging out with her. She also fell in love with my crush, when he was starting to notice me + talk to me, and I actually thought something might happen between us. And there's other small things too, like copying what I wear, bringing the same lunch, etc. There are days where I feel like slicing her open, and feeding her to the junkyard dogs. -___-
My parents don't care. I don't have anyone to talk to, but I have tried talking to my mom about letting me go to a therapist, and out of nowhere, she says it would ruin my reputation -WTF?!- and starts asking me why, when I told her it's not her business why. My mom wants me to be perfect, which I know is the opposite of my life. It's best for me not to say why, but I guess I will: I was born with one eye -make fun.-, I can't see with the other one, and it's not like a normal eye, it's spherical and all, but there's no pupil and it's white with gray spots. I was always teased, and when I ran home crying to my mom, it made her cry too, since she always thought that it was all her fault. I currently wear a prosthesis, which is a lens replica of an eye. I still sometimes cry at the fact that I will always only be able to see out of one eye, but what can you do? That's how some people are born.
-is currently crying-
♥ , ana(:
credits go to KaraKupcakex for my gorgeous avatar !(:
Last edited by x_____x : 04-19-2008 at 10:59 PM.