05-28-2007, 04:20 PM
I may go to a shrink, but she does nothing for me. I've definitaly hit my biggest low these past 3 months. These past two days, I've actually taken a knife above my wrist. All I do is press down. Thank the Goddess I have cats and I just say there cat scratches. I feel pure hatred for so many people right now and could never tell anyone this. Not even my sister, whom I've very close to. I hate being so low and I believe I should go onto anti-depressites. I've told my sister, but she said it could just be teenage chemicals running through me. I don't think it is. I could never tell any one, ever and hope that people don't start asking. People say that my heart is made of steel. To me, its made of steel because of all the f*cking sh*t I have been going through these past 2 years along with my whole life. We were never a happy family, and now that I think about it, never could have been. "I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut, my weakness is that I care much, I tear myself open just to feel.." I love this song phrase from Papa Roach's Scarred...its so....me
Yesterday, I went to work and I started to cry. I hate life. I hate my parents. I hate this f*cking divorce. I hate everything in my life. My parents don't know me, my life, only what I show them. Its quite sad, really. But...I love seeing the blood come off my arm. No body even asks but one of my good friends.
My stress level varies from day to day. My family and I have recently been through a two year divorce. I do stress out over little things, I know I do and I try to calm myself. I try to actually breathe more and talk to my friends as often as possible. This site helps a lot to because its like another world. A third home...
Last edited by Miranda_ : 07-17-2012 at 10:35 PM.