Girl fights are different from boy fights in more ways than the obvious. When boys disagree, fists are fast to fly, and when the fight is over, it’s over. The situation is resolved, respect among peers is high and everyone goes on to do their own thing. When girls fight, however, a friendly disagreement quickly escalates to a Cold War which can rival anything governments could produce.
The first step in a girl fight is the initial problem. You have to be careful because more than a few times a monster fight has been started by something someone says you said whether you did or not. If you find yourself offended or put out by someone else, try not to get your feathers ruffled too badly before you find out what was actually said, by whom and why.
Once you realize you have every right to be angry, go ahead and fume. Call your friends, vent about it, write nasty journal entries and mutter curses under your breath. What you should avoid, however, is making a statement you’ll have to back up later. For example, if you tell all your friends you’re going to make her pay or you’ll beat her senseless, you might feel obligated to live out your threat. If the other girl or one of her friends hears you, the situation automatically escalates, so be very careful what actually comes out of your mouth.
If this is your first squabble with this girl, you’ll likely try to resolve the issue with help of friends. This is a time to really put some effort into finding a solution. Continued arguments and actual fighting won’t solve anything in the long run, so the first round of resolutions is the time to end the fights – even if you’re still hurt or mad.
A fight should be over when the starting party apologizes and you accept her apology. If she refuses to apologize and seems to be escalating the fight, you don’t have to play along. You have a choice how to respond – no matter what the other girl is saying or doing.
If she’s in your face calling you names, you might try simply turning around and walking away. By turning your back on a raging woman, you might be opening yourself up for further attack, but everyone who sees you do this will realize you’re choosing to walk away and not get involved further.
In a calm moment later, you might try talking to the girl again or write her a quick note letting her know that it’s a shame you can’t forgive and forget, but you are not interested in wasting time with the drama and will be moving on from it – you hope she can, too.
If the girl (or her friends or yours) simply can’t let it go and arguments continue, stand your ground if you know you’re right and be sure you’re not letting pride get in the way of good judgment. Ask the girl if she’d be willing to sit down with a teacher or counselor to work through the argument. If not, simply quit fighting.
She can rage and scream all she wants for as long as she wants, but you don’t have to play along. If you fight back, things will continue to escalate until you’re facing a real physical fight. Nothing good has come of that, and you’ll likely be facing some serious consequences just for being involved in a fight whether you started it or not.
Ignore her as much as possible and stick close to your good friends. There might be more drama as she spreads rumors about you, but resist attacking back. The calmer you are in the face of attack, the more it appears you’re the one in the right – just be sure you really are right.